New thread re Roy Meadow (no Sir!)

[Janh]

Cheeseball, specially for you, yet another thread but without the Sir! (I'll post a link from the 2nd thread).

If what we are doing here is being radical busybodies then I am proud to be one! I am so sorry your husband feels like this and won't help you escape from the burden you are under.

Many of our MPs have now seen some details of Bunglie's case which we have forwarded to them and not one has said "you shouldn't be talking about this, you are breaking the law". Those gagging orders are so wrong and will surely be overturned before long. If you have to wait until they are before you can do something about your own case then so be it - he is wrong to be so angry with you about something that wasn't your fault but you are the one who lives with him and we can't tell you what to do.

If you get a chance do think about ringing Bunglie, you don't have to tell her your name or any details at all but I'm sure it would make you feel so much better (unless the guilt at doing it made you feel worse...)

hi im one of the kids that mewadows took and wne i get my hands on that pratt i will knock him out as he has caused so much pain in my family but now me and my mum have the strongest bond that we have ever had b4 thnx for all ur support to my mum she really does apreciate and remember ne1 need to tlk im here aswell as my mum bye luv u all inocent

mum will b bk on l8r bye

hi janh how r u im fine bit depressed im 17 in two weeks i cnt wait mum said she might by me a laptop omg bungli my mum also knows u so im jst saying hi to im her daughter she says shes going to expalin l8r dnt worry :'

Thank you janh - Too many threads for my little brain!!
Cheeseball I posted you a long message on the part2 thread I shall see if I can coppy it onto this one for you.
Innocent eyes, I get more confused the more I try to understand this language?? Any chance of you writing in English even if it is just for me to understand????
Secondly innocenteyes you sound bored, send me an email at my personal email address and I will chat to you rather than clog up this thread, but please either translate as you go along or write in English, I am a bit slow!
OK I will try to transfer my last posting onto this thread. But if I can mess up my mobile don't hold your breath!!

Cheeseball I am feeling very for you and a big hug ( ). Now - I maybe way off track here but reading btween the lines and putting 2+2 together and possibly jumping to 5 I feel I want to tell you something.
It must be very apparent to everyone that I have not mentioned my dh. Well that is another story in itself and one that I feel that I have 'coped' with and have felt no need to reveal details of it as it makes no diffence now as to my relationship with my dd and ds, or anything else.
For a VERY long time I felt 'guilty', yes I had deprived my dh of his children and he did not let me forget it. He was all of a sudden faced with an empty home, except for me and I was not the person he had married. My health was failing and although he never doubted the validity of my illness I again felt guilty, because I could not do everything that I had done previously around the home. He all of a sudden was taking on the role of carer, one that he did not want. He could not cope with losing his family and a wife who had a progressive paralyzing disease who's demands upon him must have seemed enormous. I was not allowed to discuss the children, all of their 'things' were packed away and our home was one of secrecy. No one came to visit anymore, I was not allowed to have my own friends and worst of all I was not allowed to mention the children. I totally relied on him and he could not cope. Going from a close loving family to just the two of us, shut away together without friends or any outside help was too much for him. He had his own 'nervous breakdown' if you like during which he abused me, both physically and emotionally. I let it happen because I felt that I deserved it. I did not , know one deserves being abused by their partner. I could not 'get out' there was no one I could turn to as all my friends had gone and no one was allowed into our home. I felt that I could not tell anyone in anycase because I thought that they would think that I was lying and that he was a wonderful husband to have 'stuck by me'. I had been diagnosed with MSBP and having Munchausens Syndrome so why should anyone believe me? When I went to the doctor, he was there, in fact he was there if I went anywhere and it was an unhealthy situation becuse we were together 24hours a day and had grown apart.He revelled in the attention he got from being told what a wonderful person he was ,looking after his 'sick'wife, especially as she had caused the break up and eventual adoption of his family. Without going on more I am sure you can see the picture....
One day I was so ill my GP was called to my home, she asked him to leave the room and said it would be easier to examine me at the surgery. I asked her if she could tell my dh that there was no need for him to come, she looked puzzled but did it. Once in her surgery I blurted it all out and she listened. She 'sorted me out' and although the next two years were a hard slog she got psychiatric help for my dh, and I learnt to have some self respect again. All this did have a happy ending for me but what I am trying to say Cheeseball is that your dh has had a treamendous 'shock' the loss of your children. But he does have his family you mention your mother in law. Who do you have? You do not 'Owe' him anything, you did not cause the court to steal your dd, you are a victim and if your relationship is not that great at the moment then help is out there.
You say that your Mother-in-law does not have a computer, and that although he knows about this site I doubt that he reads it. just make sure that you do not 'bookmark' it or put in you 'favourites' list and the chances of him finding it I sugest are small. As I said I may be 'barking up the wrong tree' but it sounds to me like you need help and support. My God, I am sorry but if you are afraid to post here on this site then you are obviously afraid of something? Now if I am way off track then PLEASE tell me and I do apologise in advance. If I am not then just send us a 'quick' posting, you do not have to give any details and I think that the sugestions of help will come flooding in. Please do not misunderstand me but I am sure that you feel a loyalty to him but this is for you. This site is for you. The people here are here for you and I know that they want to help. Finally I am not in anyway sugesting that you dh is a 'bad' person or that you do not love each other or anything like that but after the circumstances that the two of you have been through it is amazing that you are still together, well done. My dh was told by the ss if he left me that he could have back 'His' children, he chose me. Your dh and you I think might need a bit more help than the mother-in-law.
I am so very sorry if I am wrong but I felt I could not keep it to myself and I was worried that if I emailed you personally it may not be that personal.
Cheeseball you are a strong person to have survived this far and you have a right to post messages on this site or any other. I know that you can not stop feeling guilty overnight, it does not go away it just becomes easier to live with but please please if there is ANYTHING we can do post here or you can contct me personally via mumsnet. I am so very sorry if I have overstepped the mark.

Postsue-How are you doing today? my advice do not try and write the whole story in one go, just do it a bit at a time and you will find it comes 'flooding out' !!! My Offer yesterday was serious I will phone you again soon perhaps you can email me a good time?

The rest of you wonderful lot, still can't get a text message through but I have altered letter as to your sugestions, ie, told him I tried to text but could not get through. I wonder if I have done something to my phone because it will not even let me text myself now!!

Sofiaames, you ask how I get around etc. Well I have 2 wheelchairs, an upstairs and downstairs one. I have a stairlift and two electric buggies. Wow I am a different person when in them, I get a great thrill everytime I overtake a milk float!! I use trains and we have ONE access mobility bus down here but I have not yet tried it. I have district nurses if needed but apart from that I am too independant to let anyone into my home to clean it AGH! the embarrasement of someone cleaning my oven. I am the kind of person who would clean (and did in the past) before the home help came. I do my shopping on line and I find that I can manage most things. At the moment I am having a ramp built and patio area laid so I can get down into my small garden. If you want to do something then I have found that there are ways 'round to achieve it. eventually I will need carers, but rather than go into a care home I bought a large house and have two (gay male lodgers), and they are wonderful, change light bulbs and things I cant do. but the idea is that when I need the care, the upstairs bedrooms I converted into a flat will become the place where I can have a live-in carer. Oh ap's don't know about the 'gay' lodgers, it never seemed appropriate to tell them.

I am glad you all think it would be wrong to contact the ap's again I was feeling very uneasy about it and you have confirmed my gut feelings, thank you.

Cheeseball I hope I have not upset you-please forgive me but I care about you although we have never even spoken. big hug () Bunglie

Didn't he get his 'sir'?
for services to children or something like that?
Hugs to you all Bunglie XXXXXX

Oh crikey! I did it? Hope it makes sense and please tell me to "Butt Out" if I have overstepped the mark.

no problem jan h i am bored yes but im new to this thing so i dont no how to send a private thingy

Ok innocent eyes;
Click on 'contact another talker' at the top of this page.
Next fill in the details, and you can add a short message
then send it and they will forward it to me giving you my email address, I can then send you an email and we can 'talk' privately - sound any good?

My God! Bunglie How did you know?
You are not overstepping the mark, but I must be quick as he has gone to football this pm and will be back soon.
We don't have a good marriage but my GP would not help as he thinks I have Munchausens as well and that my bruises are due to me self-injuring myself.
I can't leave like you and start again as I have no where to go and my family are not close to me and I am ashamed to try and tell them. I know he would find me in anycase.
I would have liked to have phoned you but he checks the phone bill and he knows my email password. If he thought that I had told you he would kill me.
I am sorry I must seem like a real wimp but I do owe him something and I did cause him to have his dd taken away from him. I know that you will say it was not my fault but that is how I feel.
Sorry, I really am I know that this thread is about Meadows not my problems so please forget this and I am sure things will get better as time goes on.
Must sign off now he is due back for his tea.
Love to all Cheeseball

Cheeseball, i am please to know that you are still there and that when able you can pick up the support that we offer for you. I gasped and cried when i read your posting and felt compelled to send you a message before i have read on. I hope that that is ok. I have to give you my opinion because i feel very strongly that you need to be told. I AM SURE THAT OTHERS HERE WILL AGREE.

A) you did not deprive your DH of his family - Meadows and the legal systems of this country did that.
B) You MUST start to believe that!!!
C) He has NO right to be angry with you.

Perhaps he has just turned his own enormous sadness and grief into anger, but right now i feel very angry that he has made you feel responsible.

YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, we are here for all who wishe our support(((((())))))

PS have now read Bunglies big posting on previous thread and have to say she is ONE WISE WOMAN and IMO you should take on board everything she says.

cheeseball the first thing is to get a inderpendant enquiry against your doctor as i think what he doing would come under mal practice
secondly please remember your not alone there is help out there even if it means you go to a womens refuge for the time being and plus the law has changed to domestic violence alot of people think that its physical but its mental as well so if you think your in any danger go to the police and they will try and help

hi cheeseball its very understandable the pain that your going thorugh i got taken away from my parents and it caused so much pain and hurt but fortuantly me and my mum have got a stronger bond then ever and we are not going to let that pratt drag us dwn and something my mum has said if u keep ur head up high u will get through this so keep it up high i will b looking LOL

I have read all this and I just don't know what to say, its disgusting what has been done.

I wish you all the best of luck in your future, and i hope you can all be reunited with your children and form a meaningful relationship with them.

What REALLY pisses me off, is what the F was Meadows doing removing loved and happy children, when the social services was fing around leaving abused children with their parents. This makes my blood boil.

Jennh, I agree you said it in language that would cost you £1.00 in my home! and it would have been worth every penny In fact I shall stick a fiver in the swear bottle say it again and be £4.00 in credit for next week.
Seriously- I agree so whole heartedly, not because I lost my children but because everytime I hear on the news that a child has been battered to death or locked in a room, you know the sort of thing I mean, you cry and say where were the ss then? I would honestly rather an over vigilant society with regard to our children but it must be open to scrutiny. The problem has been Meadows got away with it because we are all 'gagged' just me typing this means I am breaking the law. We can have a vigilant social services but they must be open to scrutiny, the child can still be protected, but we have got to stop this from ever being allowed to happen again and that means a change in the judicial system -I think that is what must happen. But....and there is always a but, we can't speak out until they stop 'gagging' us, so.....Go for it Jennh, I am £4.00 in credit and its all yours to use up!

Oh yes i agree. I think social services should have the power to remove children they believe to be at risk. But it is disgusting you were found innocent and you lost your children.
I can swear for England about how unbelievable sht the f*ing social services are in England. Why the F waste their time removing happy children, from an obviously loving mother when so many children out there have suffered horrendous abuse just because their parents were shts.
I am thinking of you, and you seem so lovely, i bet your children once they know you some more will want to be a big part of your life.

Getting those gagging orders lifted ASAP is so important - it's really noticeable (now I know about it) what a tiny amount of press coverage this issue is getting, when without them there would be 100s or even 1000s of families clamouring for justice. We hear a huge amount about the mis-selling of endowments, for instance....it would be so much easier for each affected family to have their case reviewed if they could get publicity.

I feel another email to my MP coming on!

Cheeseball, I wish you would go back to your GP (without your DH) and ask him if he reads the papers - has he not heard that MSbP has been discredited??? - and tell him where your bruises really came from. Your problems are just as important as Bunglie's and postsue's, please fight back!!

Bunglie and Cheeseball I'm so sorry to hear of your suffering even more than we knew so far. Cheeseball, NONE of this is your fault in any way. Could you set yourself up with a hotmail account so he doesn't know your password or email address? Just go to hotmail.com it should be straightforward.
Innocenteyes, I'm wondering if and when any of the children who have been wrongly removed from their parents are going to start their own legal action. Surely it would be possible? IMO the family courts are appalling, wrapping their actions up in secrecy under the guise of protecting children when in fact they were protecting themselves by preventing parents from exposing miscarriages of justice. Now the truth is beginning to emerge there must be sweeping changes including making sure we don't have any more secret courts in this country. And the judges who were so incompetent that they 'preferred' the opinions of so-called experts who pretended to offer clinical diagnoses without even meeting the person they were talking about, let alone examining them need to be sacked. Or at least to acknowledge their failings and volunteer for retraining.

Have just sent this:

"Thank you for your reply to my earlier email to you about the many hundreds or even thousands of families whose children were removed from them following a "diagnosis" of MSbP by Sir Roy Meadow.

I know you have forwarded my concerns to Baroness Scotland of Asthal, and I am grateful, but I would just like to emphasise my increasing anger over the fact that the gagging orders placed on all parties concerned in these Family Court cases has left these families helpless to publicise their own intolerable positions. The problem is thus invisible to the general public and likely to remain so.

Of course the identities of the children concerned, and their adoptive parents, must remain strictly confidential, but the mothers who were wrongly diagnosed should be able to be given guidance to help them clear their names, without fear of punishment for breaking the law by talking about the situation they are in. Would it possible for there to be a general lifting of the orders in these cases?"

I'll let you know if I get another reply!

To all

See footnote BUNGLIE AND CHEESEBALL

Your words and language is very colourful..........the colour i like. Can i swear if i pay a fiver in advance............F*king WKER BAST**D

that is a very small piece of my mind, lots more where that came from................................HAS ANYONE HEARD ABOUT THE PROTEST AT THE ROYAL COURTS OF JUSTICE TAKING PLACE AT 10AM ON WEDNESDAY 3RD MARCH 2004 (took ages to type)

If so anyone going?????????????????

I am now pondering what to write..........tick tock tick tock,,,brain not working or connected to my typing fingers

Bunglie.................see u read my dd, wanted to post, speaks another language, took me 2 years to learn.....How are you today? You brought me so much comfort and understanding yesterday i can not express it properly (or spell properly)....we need to conflab (who's being posh now)soon, helps more than u think............will be posting soon from start in stages...............

Cheesball.................please do not blame yourself............what am i saying i do and always have..................there are some people out there who know exactly how you feel and i am one, it is not your fault, they are WRONG, do not let them bully you, it's so difficult as i do not know what stage you are at and i do not expect you to tell me either. Again i might be readin inbetween the lines as well but i have an idea of where you are at as i've been there. bought the t-shirt and would not reccomend it to anyone...................

dear eddm
dont u worry i am thinking about sueing flippin battie man meadows as he has mistreated both me and my parents im and sueing him for all he has and dat means money and knight hood
why a man so bad got granted knight hood we will never know but one thing for sure is im going to make him suffer........................... the consequenses thank u ever so muchn for bringing this conversation up

Bunglie and Cheeseball I'm so sorry to hear of your suffering even more than we knew so far. Cheeseball, NONE of this is your fault in any way. Could you set yourself up with a hotmail account so he doesn't know your password or email address? Just go to hotmail.com it should be straightforward.
Innocenteyes, I'm wondering if and when any of the children who have been wrongly removed from their parents are going to start their own legal action. Surely it would be possible? IMO the family courts are appalling, wrapping their actions up in secrecy under the guise of protecting children when in fact they were protecting themselves by preventing parents from exposing miscarriages of justice. Now the truth is beginning to emerge there must be sweeping changes including making sure we don't have any more secret courts in this country. And the judges who were so incompetent that they 'preferred' the opinions of so-called experts who pretended to offer clinical diagnoses without even meeting the person they were talking about, let alone examining them need to be sacked. Or at least to acknowledge their failings and volunteer for retraining.

Oh b**r sorry about that repeated message! Pressed the wrong key...

Right here goes..............

In march 1991 an over eager pead suspected MSbP on me, took away my dd day b4 4th birthday and mothers day.................................
i made a mistake, i was silly, i find it really hard to tell the reason why they suspected MSbP, i gave my dd medication..................................................................................................................not lethal drugs, poison, or anything,,,,,,,,,,,,,,an over the counter medicine........for pain,,,,,,,,,,,,i didnot od her i gave 1......................................................................................................................................they then used everything else against me..... she fell of a stool at the hospital eye department, sent me to a and e with her for x ray and then said it was my fault and due to MSbP.
My parents visited my dd on her b day only to be told by security guard at hospital ward door "that patient is not allowed visitors, ask her mother". Try explaining it to anyone after 14hours of being locked ina police cell being told you hated your dd and wanted to kill her........................................i have to stop for a while.........................................crying

What protest? Please give us the details. I will be there!

postsue, take your time. If you feel it would be better emailing bunglie, do that (hope that's ok with you bunglie). Or put more here, whatever you feel is right. You don't need to tell everything on here, now or ever.