Please help me. My house is disgusting

[MuckyMare]

I'd post pics but I'm too embarrassed and scared DM will steal.

I have MH issues and I get so overwhelmed. I'm always so tired. I grew up in filth and now I'm doing the same. I have too much stuff. Bin bags of dirty washing

My kitchen is foul. My bathroom too.

I'm so ashamed.
No get it done when I'm on a high in my bipolar cycle then I can't keep up with it and it gets gross again. Then I spiral because it stresses me out so much.

How do people manage to have nice clean houses

I'm such a failure

I've actually failed today. I spent last night not sleeping and having nightmares (My meds sometimes do that) so I went back to bed instead of doing any more

But I'm going to get up now and do 45 mins of sorting before school :)

Update here so it’ll keep you motivated!

MuckyMare please don't be too hard on yourself! To say that you've failed today is quite harsh & it sounds like you needed to take a break.

Overall you've achieved lots by the sound of it, so maybe focus on that to sue you on!

KBO as Churchill said!

Spur, not sue!

It's the maintenance that can be the hardest. Keeping on top of everything once you've sorted it all out. Having a routine helps, and a quick tidy up before bed so you're not coming down (presuming you have stairs..) to a tip in the morning.

My kids are in such a mood with me

I've been so fed up and they've been on their screens constantly and today I've told them that they can have set times on their game (Tue and this in the week 6pm-8pm)

And I've written up a chores list.

Things for the ALL to do:

Empty their plates after dinner and put in dishwasher
Keep bedrooms tidy
Put washing in baskets after taking clothes off

Then some individual things like

Taking rilubbish to bins
Hoovering the hall
Put empty loo rolls in paper bin

They are 7 to 14

And they are moaning at me acting like I'm the worst mum in the world

I feel so shit

I know it's my fault because I've not brought them up in a tidy home and done this from the start

But they way they are talking you'd think I was sending them down the mines

That's just kids .... my son regularly tells me I'm making him a slave ! They won't die .....

well done Muckymare you’ve achieved loads in the last couple of days keep it going!! Maybe just use a large strong shopping bag for the recycling for now and put it by the door each night so whoever ventures near the bin next it’s easily at hand to take it along?
I would probably save to sort out washing machine etc first as that will make a massive difference. Pillowcase is a good idea for temporary washing bags!
You have made amazing progress though and it must be nice having a clean bedroom to sleep in also!!

hi hellokitty! I second what pp said go round with a bin bag and collect any obvious rubbish and get rid easy things like the pringles tub for example if its empty jus bin it if not eat it tonight
Aswell as make the bed a room always looks far more tidier once the beds made and is a nice reward to sleep in comfort after a busy day!
Make one area only for shoes! Do u have any storage space or could you get a small shoerack near front door?xx

Muckt those are perfectly reasonable and easy chores do mot let them make you feel bad!!!

I have a washing machine and dryer.

I'm just over drawn right now so can't use them as it will use up the electricity on prepaid metre. There must be 20 bin bags I'm sure I'm could get rid of a good 8-10 bags permanently.

I get money Thursday so will be able to make a start on washing then.

Sorry my mistake! I read earlier someone said about washin it in the bath so presumed you had no machine!! Atleast the washing can be done on another day be one more mess out of the way x

I think it's cause someone suggested I take the washing to the laundrette but I haven't a car or the cash to use big machines.

Yup. Before that I'm gonna have a sort through though. I'm sure most of it is too small for anyone now

Thats true just sort through it and chuck whats no good no point having it cluttering up your life. Iv got a storage area and wardrobe to tackle and keep running out of effort and energy to do it. You are inspiring me to crack on though xx

They are just do8ng what kids do when they think 5hey ar3 having to do something they don't want to. Just be cheery and positive with them, insist and praise lots. It'll soon just be normality for them.

I suffer depression - have done all my adult life off and on- am medicated at the moment so ok. When it is bad I am undone by something as simple as a pair of shoes that need picking up and taking upstairs. I just can not do it. It sounds bizarre I know. Then it becomes numerous things lying around and I am overwhelmed by basic things so run out of food because can't go shopping.

Having children has actually helped me and DH is great but works really hard and I feel I should be helping the family not hindering it. Anyway, I have developed some routines that have become a new way of keeping on top of things.
Dinner is cleared away immediately- everything.
Before bed worktops are cleared and wiped down.
While the bath is running I clean the bathroom and do the bath when I get out, or DH does. It means it takes just minutes and is always clean.
DH or I do the loo every night when we go up to bed- takes a minute.
If a room looks untidy I have a 'Put 15 things away' blitz for a few minutes. It makes such a difference and I literally count them. Sometimes I do another 15.
I have trained DS (3 1/2) and he likes to help tidy and dust 😉
I keep the hoover handy and not somewhere I have to go and dig it out.
I bought a cheap rechargable hand hoover and quickly hoover up spills.
I bought a window Karcher cleaner. It is amazing - can do the whole downstairs in half an hour with no effort and it's quite fun. DH fights me to do it. He does the outsides.
I clean the kitchen floor with Sainsbury's Apple antibac floor wipes by putting them on the floor and using my foot as the mop to press n them. They are great. Two do our whole floor. It is a 5 min job.
I pile stuff up to take upstairs and everytime DH or I go up we take it up.
One night about every couple of weeks when the children are in bed we do an hour of housework and cleaning together to make a difference.
Bin is a bag on kitchen door- put in outside bin every night - it means we never let rubbish mount up

They are silly little tips but they help me keep on top of it all.

I must sound cleaning mad- am definitely not.

Good tips Lulu! Might borrow some of those!

Thanks 🙂

Hi! I haven't rtft but Unfuck Your Habitat (UFYH) really helps me when i'm going throught several days of painfull and disabling migraines and still want to keep my home livable. I highly recomend it!

*through

Pick three or four jobs to do each day. For example Day 1 sort through washing and put two loafs on to wash, hang out to dry, fold and put away in drawers. Don't bother with ironing. Day 2 pick up anything in lounge that should not be there and put away, hoover the floor in lounge, dust surfaces and put a new air freshener out. Day 3 Tidy one bedroom, clean window in bedroom, change duvet cover and sheets, hoover floor in bedroom. Day 4 tackle kitchen, wash up dishes and put away, empty and clean work surfaces, wash the floor, wipe over the cooker. Day 5 go around each room and do one job in each room to keep it up. Do not be afraid to ask for help if there is someone who cares about you let them know you are struggling. If you can't face cooking then buy ready made meals and warm up in microwave and eat fruit. If all else fails try to get on top of one room so you can sit without having to face the mess.

Lots of people have mentioned putting the washing on, but I see you haven't got a machine. Can you be creative about getting one - second hand would be fine. It is a very satisfying thing to have put a laundry load on at home - it gets you started and makes you feel efficient, even though the actual act takes a mere few minutes. If you always have the weight on your mind of needing a trip to the launderette I'm not surprised you have bags full of dirty washing. On the other hand, if I had bags full of dirty washing we would have nothing to wear - so you are right in that a lot of that could be sorted into bin/charity.
Why not set a goal of sorting one bag every 2 days, never mind if its washed and maybe this once forget about charity and just bin unwanted/outgrown stuff?
I am not houseproud and don't enjoy housework, so dusting doesn't happen very often but I try to keep the surface clutter down and wash up regularly. I have learnt that when it builds up I feel much worse and don't know where to start again, so I maintain it for my mental health! Once they're in a basically clean state, the kitchen and bathrooms shouldn't need doing more than weekly. Any spray cleaner and kitchen towel is my tip for both (microfibre cloths are good too but obviously would add to your laundry load at present). A quick hoover round living areas once or twice a week (bedrooms less often), and a deeper clean when I have a bit of energy and notice things building up seem to keep it decent enough for visitors to drop in without shame. Bedding change - probably fortnight but can be longer between. When I have the time and energy kind of thing. I could not be a slave to a routine!
I do visit homes as part of my job and sometimes I do wonder how people can bear the state they live in - it's usually too much clutter, frying greasy food daily, keeping pets without hoovering.

Aha seen you do have a machine. But out of meter cash. Poor thing. Ok in the meantime sort a bag a day -then you'll have half the laundry to do when you can afford it.
Also recognise that you are battling with:
parenting legacy - it is strange but its perfectly normal to feel a little bit guilty at choosing a different path. That can sabotage your best intentions so keep your goals at the front of your mind and check for that little voice of sabotage every now and then.
making changes with your kids - make this a goal to achieve over a period of say, a year. Change there will happen in baby steps so break it down and praise praise praise - this time next year they will be doing things without asking if you keep it up, but it will be tempting to give up every time they whinge. DON'T GIVE IN!! You'll all be happier and have much more energy and wellbeing at the end of this xx

Hi everyone, sorry, I fell asleep! I don't sleep at night and all of the cleaning made me exhausted. Anyway, with the books, a lot of them are specialist, medical and such so I don't want to give them away as they were quite pricey. The ones on the dresser I mostly for pleasure, but again I have a good collection of books and other languages which I can't easily Find since they're in Vietnamese, Mandarin, etc.

Our house is far from tidy and we have a clutter problem too! I would second the idea of googling Flylady. She's great.
Her main ideas are to just start on something, eg sorting washing, set a timer and go at it for 15 minutes and it will make a difference.
Also, put energising music on to motivate you. Also, allow yourself breaks between bouts of cleaning. Just look at her website. Good luck!!

OP, it sounds like you're doing really well.

I echo PPs about joining us on this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3243987-Getting-rid-of-one-thing-a-day-decluttering-challenge-Part-3-Are-we-nearly-there-yet?pg=1&order=

You haven't failed! A 45 minute tidy up is great progress and think just how far you have come from the first post. And getting the kids used to chores is good - they will fall into line and get used to it.

I still get a bit frowny when my mum (recently moved back in) will order me to do something around the house but the mood doesn't last & I'm now used to picking up after myself before she can get to it