Please help me. My house is disgusting

[MuckyMare]

I'd post pics but I'm too embarrassed and scared DM will steal.

I have MH issues and I get so overwhelmed. I'm always so tired. I grew up in filth and now I'm doing the same. I have too much stuff. Bin bags of dirty washing

My kitchen is foul. My bathroom too.

I'm so ashamed.
No get it done when I'm on a high in my bipolar cycle then I can't keep up with it and it gets gross again. Then I spiral because it stresses me out so much.

How do people manage to have nice clean houses

I'm such a failure

Jadzia congrats on your new job. Use your first paycheck to pay for a whole house cleaning blitz, it will be the best gift you ever gave yourself.

OP if your partner has time to help try and do the kitchen, bathrooms and clean all floors. Chuck out all trash - be ruthless.

If that is not possible just commit to 20 minutes cleaning a day. You will be amazed at the difference you can make in 20 minutes.

I totally emphasize with MH issues. Just don't think of doing a "whole house blitz" which is overwhelming. Just focus on the area that bothers you the most and work on that for 20 minutes per day until you are done, and do a 5 min upkeep in that area daily. Just do the slow and steady pace.

Wow, that website is great! Op, it's definitely worth a look!

I love the idea of doing 20 minutes tidying/cleaning/whatever & then having 10 minutes break - I guess even 10/5 would work too?

I'm in a similar position to you OP I just get so overwhelmed by it all that I just leave it and leave it. The house isn't really dirty (probably is by mumsnet standards) but there's just so much clutter in every room it's ridiculous

Don't worry OP, a lot of us are in the same feels like its sinking boat.

You're doing brilliantly by making the first steps, don't underestimate what even 10 mins will do.

Just popped on to recommend a couple of threads on here, getting rid of one thing a day and hoarders anonymous sorting it out together. (Sorry, I have no clue how to do clicky links) These threads are a go to for me when I need encouragement or sympathy, and seeing others ups and downs really helps get me in the right mindset to carry on.

I have many days when little gets done beyond that one thing out, but on good days I'll sort a fair bit.

A kind poster just resurrected a thread I started in December, when I was totally overwhelmed. Its amazing to realise how much has changed since then. Although it's still a tip, and the bedroom just seems to get worse somehow, I have a few floors I'd not seen for months, and the kitchen is much easier to keep clean now it has so much less stuff in it. Most of it even fits in the cupboards, something I never thought I'd acheive!!

You can do it, and we're all here with you

I was in a similar position a couple of years ago. It was just so overwhelming and I shouted at my son when he randomly brought a friend home from school, I was mortified.
My health is wobbly and the only way I've been able to get anywhere near organised is to pace myself carefully when I'm well enough.
And have a bloody good declutter, god the crap I'd kept because my head told me it might be useful when in reality it was never going to be.

Anyone fancy kicking me up the arse to clean this toilet please? Was supposed to do it before I went out but ran out of time and now I'm at risk of 'it's too late to start' type thinking. I was hoping it would extend to the whole bathroom in my original plan for today but would be happy with just the loo for now. It would only take 5 minutes wouldn't it, shall we see if I can get it done before anyone replies?

Is your loo sparkling?

It is Under Am ashamed to say it was disgusting but the plus side is that made it wonderfully satisfying to clean I should have done before and after pics, it would have made you all feel better about your own loo's I'm sure

Sounds like there's a few of us in the same boat. Mare I've done my bedding too. Just getting it dry now.

Good idea on the first paycheque Moveablefeast - I'll need to tidy first. Am embarrassed to let anyone in

The life happens section on unfuck your habitat is excellent. Just reading this one now www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/the-depressionmessy-house-cycle/?pagenum=1&category=life-happens about cleaning & depression.

I can heartily recommend the organised mum method and blog.

I feel much calmer and in control of the house following it.

Definitely pay someone to help you get it cleared, then it's a case of maintaining once it's sorted.

In the meantime, set a timer for 10/15 minutes. Choose a task and do it for that short time. Small chunks X lots will make a huge difference and once you see it looking better hopefully it'll keep you going.

If it's a nice sunny day tomorrow and you take your bedding off when you get up and put the washing on, hang it out as soon as it's done. It will dry during the day, and you can put them back on the bed.For some reason I feel like a domestic goddess when I've done the beds that way.

How about some motivation. You can do a room at a time and take a before and after pic to look at.
I know how you feel honestly.
At one point I remember thinking as a single parent if something happened to me and paramedics came in I would be ashamed.
From the outside you would never know.
If people knocked on the door I would actually hide.
I sorted everything and it stayed spotless for about 6 months and then I went down again recently and so did my house.
I have now done every room bar dining room( which is full of packing boxes as were moving soon and about 9 loads of washing which has all been sorted but I need a kick to tackle it)

I don't know why I'm like this, our clothes are always ironed and clean. My children are immaculate and I am very presentable but my washing pile and housework is just a joke I don't understand it. I came from a very very tidy and clean home too.
If my house is a mess I'm ridiculously depressed and my moods are awful I'm so unhappy so I know this isn't helping your mental health.

The first place I would start if I was you is your bedroom.
The difference you will feel sleeping in a clean and tidy bedroom will motivate you to do the other rooms. I love waking up and everything is clean you feel refreshed and relaxed.

The only thing I do always make sure is tidy is the kids rooms, I never let them go to bed in messy rooms and once you have done your own room and feel the difference you will definitely understand why.
Also bedding, the kids do need clean bedding. If that's the only thing you do one day definitely do that for them.

I made a huge effort last night to load the dishwasher & wash up rather than leaving it til the morning - it's just a habit we'd got into.

Anyway, I slept really well & was up at 6 rather than lying in bed dreading getting up at 7.30, so I'm thinking that the 2 might be connected.

Maybe clearing away at night ready for a fresh start in the morning is a psychological boost?

Sounds so obvious !

MuckyMare I hope you had a lovely sleep with your nice fresh bedding & jimjams!

I hope you had a lovely sleep op!
It can be so daunting seeing how much there is to do but you’ve identified its a problem and do not want to continue licing like it and that shows younare ready to start and will achieve it!

How about because alot of the clothes are in bags to wash grab he first one erly today so u cam wash and get it hung out to dry regardless of whats in it atleast its being made clean. If most of the clothes are currently in bags then i would have a clean of he wardrobes/clothes storage before anything else.
Whatever you currently have left in the wardrobes decide if you actually want/need it get rid if you dont. Give them a good dust and wipe out so u have a fresh base to put away all your lovely clean washing.
I find that when my wardrobe is a mess i cant be bothered to put anything away or do it tidily and clothes piles end up everywhere.

If you can clean the storage out and work through the washing bag by bag and get it put away neatly its amazing how much space you will free up also bag any bits thatcare to small/broken etc and just put them in recycling so they are gone.

I do struggle with mess well clutter build ups but always try to keep the sink/ work top and bathroom clean. I get a clutter problem but knowing it’s general clutter not dirt does help.

Good luck today op its a new day, hopefully the suns out where you are and some washing can be dried.
Im off to put a load in and get it hung out before work tbis tgeead has inspired me to get a move on with some jobs. We csn do this xx

Ps sorry about the typos i made in that post. Using my rubbish phone and now realise how many mistakes i made after hitting post x

Sometimes, when thi gs are bad, they have to get worse to get better, and by that I mean the mess.

So even though you're doing things you don't see any benefit. But it's still worth doing the jobs. Strip the beds and spend the day over the washing machine. Get it all washed and dried and away. Ignore everything else. While you're waiting for a load to finish, wash up and dry up.

And that's probably enough for one day.

Day 2 tackle the kids bedroom. Take a bowl of hot soapy water and a bin bag uo with you. Clear the clutter out, wipe the surfaces, open the windows and finish the job. Of you find washing, get it straight in the machine. Wash up and dry up again. And that's probably enough for day 2.

And repeat for each room. Over the course of a week, you'll be knackered but it will be done.

Things I find help are seeing jobs through. So, get the washing away when it's done. Dry up after you've washed up. Even if you need a cup of tea between washing up and drying up, make sure that the drying up is done.

And then to keep on top of it, make the beds as soon as you're out of them. Do a load of laundry first thing every day. Before you come down stairs bring anything that doesn't belong down with you and pit it where it does belong. As you leave a room have a look round to see of you could do a 2 minute tidy round.

It sounds very difficult for you, I hope you find a way through it.

Just do one bag. Once you've done that you will do a bit more. When I was ill I got up and did one thing. When I'd done that I felt so much better. It's a cliché but by the time you'd posted on here you could have put a wash load in, and done the washing up.
Nobody needs all those clothes. Sort out the ones you don't need and bin them. Get 'stuff' out of your house, it makes it harder to work.
You can do it. Your brain is telling you you can't. With bipolar lows you have to FORCE yourself to do something.
Bipolar should to an extent be controlled by medication. You need to talk to your team for a meds review.

Hope the clean bed last night was lovely and will spur you on today to do a bit more.

With the washing, start on a load a day...do the underwear first, then kids uniform.

Make lists and a rota and try to stick to it. As you've changed your bed, have a quick dust and hoover in your room and a sort out today and that's one room done.

Good luck, you can do this x

My heart goes out to you and everyone else overwhelmed by messy homes. I struggled with PND and can honestly identify with you all. My mum (who lived 200 miles away so couldn't practically help) told me to start with 10 minutes a day. I also found a 'TO DO' list a great help. Putting a tick by the most menial tasks was satisfying.

If anyone is judgemental about your home, don't take it to heart. We understand. Take advantage of the help offered. Pay it forward when you're better.

Morning @MuckyMare sending you hugs, how you feeling this morning? I know how awful MH issues are ( in my case depression and chronic anxiety)
Would it help if you came on the thread each morning for a quick chat before doing a few things like one bag of washing on and empty a bin N then back for a chat with a cup of tea? I found that approach really helped me.
Anyway a hug for today is on its way to Manchester x

Hi Op. Just wanted to echo everything that has been said. Do a bit at a time and it’s great that you want to make changes.
Another hug to Manchester.

There's a nice thread on getting rid of one item of clutter (or one bag of clutter) every day.

I feel for you, OP. I've been in a similar situation, and although I've cleared up a lot recently, so feel better about my home, it still feels grubby and there's lots of maintenance to do. Door handles off, kitchen lino ripped, etc. I have ME so it's very much as and when.

Good luck. It IS possible to get on top of things, even if it takes months.

No washing machine and no launderette.... have you got a bath ?

Get the washing soaking in the bath - if the kids are old enough get them stamping up and down on it - they will have a great laugh.

I used to do this when I was so broke that I couldn't afford to do anything else.