Should we cancel a family holiday after a row over a terrible argument?

[SillyPig]

There is a rather large argument between my daughter and my husband, and it is proving to be a persistent issue. We are going on holiday in a week's time, and my husband and my child are refusing to cooperate. My child refuses to be around her father because she believes he is anti-LGBT, and her coming out did not go down well with him. He believes they are talking stupidly.

Now, next week, we have a 17-hour flight to Australia, where the two of them will be forced to sit next to one another unless someone gives up their seat, which I think is unlikely. I fear the best option might be to cancel/not go on the holiday, but if I do that, I won't be able to get my deposit back. I don't know whether the holiday should be cancelled or whether we should just try to power through this rough patch in our family relationship.

I was thinking that since the holiday is booked through Tui, we could do some group or team-building activities together, like going to a museum or the zoo. But if I cancel the holiday, the tension in the house will continue, though I feel it could be resolved more quickly.

Go on your own and leave them at home to sort themselves out. Or take one of them.

It’s difficult to assess the rights and wrongs without knowing a bit more but if your DH is bigoted that’s not on. Ditto if your daughter is trying to inflict very strident views on trans etc on him in his own home.

Leave him at home for being a bigot!

Do we really have to have this nonsense in the Holidays topic?
OP is operating with two different usernames and not engaging so I have my doubts anyway but this is not the right place for it.

For the most part yes I just say I'm not interested. I only mentioned it because I was answering someone else's question and I happen to know the proper term for it.

If that other thread is yours, then it doesn’t sound like your DH meant any harm, but it wasn’t totally supportive. If he believes one day she’ll meet the right person and change her mind then he can quietly think that to himself surely?

For now, he could say sorry, that he just reacted instead of listening to her feelings. Maybe she won’t want a romantic relationship when she’s older. There’s not really anything wrong with that?

I was thinking that since the holiday is booked through Tui, we could do some group or team-building activities together, like going to a museum or the zoo.

Sorry if I missed.a vital detail, but not sure (a) why a TUI holiday specifically lends its self to team building; and (b) why museums or zoos will help with the OP’s dilemma?

Who are all of these people that can cancel their holidays willy nilly and just write off the money? Assuming insurance don't have a "family argument" cover.

I just asked DH, and he suggested it might be Arsenal ….

18 says aroace should be a parent’s dream for their teenager 😄

Your husband is a fool if he said anything other than "that's nice I'm very happy for you". Yeah I also think it is all nonsense to want affirmation and "coming out' about your lack of interest in sex but if she is young, then you have to give a little leeway.

Go on the holiday. Sit in the middle. Tell your husband to just murmur nice things when your dd talks about her sexuality. If I were him I'd actually say to her "love sorry if I didn't give you the right response but I'm old fashioned and don't like thinking of my children in sexual relationships at all - like I didn't with my parents. Whatever you want is fine with me"

At least she won't end up in any unfortunate holiday romances.

How do you know she is the one with the awful attitude?

😂😂😂

Because she’s thrown a shit fit as she’s not been celebrated and pandered to her exact ideals

Thats not how it sounds to me. Her Dad is not listening to how she feels and is telling her what she feels doesn't matter. The labels aren't important.

I can’t decide who is attention seeking the most.
Your daughter who because she doesn’t fancy anyone believes she has to ‘come out’ as something. What a load of drama over nothing.
Or, is it you, who reckons you are going on holiday next week with Tui to Australia . Tui don’t go to Australia.

What has she come out as? That matters.

AroArace, so doesn’t feel sexual or romantic about anyone.
theres a flag apparently

We don't know that. She may have come out as trans, in which case his attitude is entirely reasonable since there is no such thing.

Depends what she's coming out as. Lesbian or bi, absolutely. Demi semi aro ace grey two spirit trans, maybe he's got a point.

There’s always a flag.

If she's young, doesn't AROCE (or whatever it is) mean she just hasn't fancied anyone yet?

Or indeed why you couldn't go to a museum or zoo regardless of who it is booked through lol

Thank you I will bear that in mind 😁

😂 yes of all the LGBT+ things that your child could “come out” as, saying they’re not interested has got to be the biggest win. No having to worry about stds, teenage pregnancies, difficult in-law relationships in the future, no trying to navigate conversations about changing sex. You’d think the DH could have just said phew and moved on!

What's wrong with her attitude?