Should we cancel a family holiday after a row over a terrible argument?

[SillyPig]

There is a rather large argument between my daughter and my husband, and it is proving to be a persistent issue. We are going on holiday in a week's time, and my husband and my child are refusing to cooperate. My child refuses to be around her father because she believes he is anti-LGBT, and her coming out did not go down well with him. He believes they are talking stupidly.

Now, next week, we have a 17-hour flight to Australia, where the two of them will be forced to sit next to one another unless someone gives up their seat, which I think is unlikely. I fear the best option might be to cancel/not go on the holiday, but if I do that, I won't be able to get my deposit back. I don't know whether the holiday should be cancelled or whether we should just try to power through this rough patch in our family relationship.

I was thinking that since the holiday is booked through Tui, we could do some group or team-building activities together, like going to a museum or the zoo. But if I cancel the holiday, the tension in the house will continue, though I feel it could be resolved more quickly.

I'm Team husband too, it doesn't sound like he was unsupportive - just more a bit confused by her declaration

Don't cancel but tell daughter to wise up or she won't be coming

But surely you'd still be doing activities together?

However, when they told my husband, he was less supportive, saying, "You simply haven't found the right person yet." My child was distraught

Having read your other post your DH hasn't said anything to make me think he's homophonic. Infact your DD being "distraught" because your DH mearly mentioned what he did makes me think she's pretty immature and looking for an argument. Don't feed it.

I don't think your DH should have to miss out on a holiday just because he won't pander to "your" DD.

Why do you get the decision @SillyPig ? If my spouse thought they could cancel an expensive holiday to Australia because I wasn’t pandering to the attention seeking drama of a teen/early 20s the relationship would be over.
what next? If dd wails, weeps and gnashes of teeth that she can’t possibly reside in a house with someone who won’t recognise her special uniqueness, will you expect him to move out —but still fund her and the home—?

Why can't it just be 'just not interested'?

You go next week….. to Australia and have only paid TUI a deposit?
I don’t think so!

Can someone confirm that the A in LGBTQIA+ is for Asexual ?

Can you not swap seats so you sit in between them? I wouldn’t cancel and especially not for a holiday so far that’s likely expensive. Eventually they need to either make up or get on with it. What exactly was the issue (as in has she come out as LGBT or just discussing it and didn’t like his views?).

Why won't you say how old she is?

This is a mountain out of a molehill if ever there was one.

Absolutely! DH says sorry DD, I love you no matter what your sexual orientation. They all go on holiday and it’s not even mentioned.

But no, we have two threads and we still don’t know

1 How old DD is
2 If she is DH DD
3 Why they have to sit together
4 Why DH can’t just apologise and get on with it.

Your daughter is what was known as asexual and your husband's response to her was that she 'hadn't found the right person yet'. Now you're saying your daughter thinks your husband is anti-LGBTQ and she won't have anything to do with him.

Only you know if your husband reacted by saying what he did because he was caught on the hop and it was the first thing that entered his head. Or if your husband is actually anti-LGBTQ and anything else? Equally no one knows but you, if your daughter is completely overreacting.

Has your husband apologised to your daughter for his reaction? If he hasn't, then he needs to start mending bridges with her. It doesn't matter what she sees herself as, she's still his daughter, and that love should be unconditional.

Well i'de go and leave it up to the two of them to decide whether they're coming or not. They certainly wouldn't be ruining my holiday.

Yeah maybe this is a fishing expedition…

what does the dh have to apologise for? Having an opinion? On ops other thread about this, all he’s said is “she may meet someone in the future” is he to apologise for not being gushing and fawning enough?

Older generations might not understand the need to declare that you don't want to date, or shag anyone around you, with your Dad, but we do understand the concept. It used to be a simple "are you courting?" and answering "No, I'm focusing on studying/my job/getting my own place/clubbing etc", end of discussion. The DH shouldn't have bothered answering, it didn't need a answer. It would be interesting to do a future pole and see how all these labels pan out in RL. None of the declared bi sexual female teens, out of my children's peer groups, ever had a full bi sexual relationship, at 28+ they are all in heterosexual relationships.

I fucking hope you’re joking.

Tui don't do Australia holidays

I didn't think of that, but the swapping for zoo or museum visits raised my eyebrows.

maybe she hasnt found the right person yet i wouldnt call that being opposed as a comment -it might be true

am fed up of everyhting have a label now though

@SillyPig how old is your dc?

In that case Team Straight-talking Dad 💯

If the flights are next week, you're going to lose a hell of a lot more than your deposit.

Go on line to manage your booking and change your requested seats. Sit away from each other. That sorts out the flight awkwardness.

According to Google, they don't!

So... I think that tells us all we need to know

Yes. This.