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Niece screamed at me for turning over in bed.

445 replies

jeregretterien77 · 04/01/2026 08:09

Hi
So I have just returned from a ski holiday with my adult niece. When I booked originally, my 19 year old son was meant to be going, but his job would not let him take time off over Christmas (retail). My niece had expressed that she would really like to try skiing, so I asked her if she wanted to come along. It was a really good deal for skiing as French (hostel type) food included, so I paid an extra 25% and she paid around £500 plus her own flights. This included ski lessons, equipment, transfer from airport, ski pass and food and accommodation.

Now I have struggled with menopausal anxiety and I am claustrophobic which has got worse with menopause, but I was upfront about this. Flying makes me anxious now and confined spaces. On way to airport I mentioned I was anxious, but said I'd be fine. Got on flight was fine. Niece was sat elsewhere as I said she could relax in case I felt anxious. I was abso fine in the end and just spoke to her and offered her a sandwich all good.

Got to accommodation, food good. Had a drink went to bed. Woke up as very hot in room about 4 and eventually opened window then bit of tossing and turning around (we shared a room twin beds) went back to sleep. Niece said I moved around a bit. I offered her new pack of ear buds for next night she refused.

All good, but ski resort was much busier than usual due to not a lot of snow and people heading to where we were, therefore buses and gondola all busy, so not great for me. We had ski lesson and I stayed in her beginner lesson to give her support, then did little bit of skiing just past basic myself.

On gondola I asked staff if I could go just with my niece due to claustrophobia, but he said was too busy, we then got on with 2 others and I felt anxious, so just talking to French lady next to me saying I was claustrophobic just in case she thought I was acting weird. The gondola then stopped midway and I panicked a little and tried to change seats. The French lady was lovely and spoke to me and a young English guy which made me feel much better. I held my niece's hand and she just looked pissed off. Absolutely packed bus on way back so I got off and told her I would meet her back at centre. Eventually had to get on packed bus and coped ok. Then had meal, chatted to other people and joined evening entertainment she said she enjoyed it. Went to bed, middle of night she complains that I am moving around (bear in mind when we have been on holiday before she has slept in same BED as her mother who snores like a buffalo) and there is no way that I could have been making anywhere near the noise that she does. My niece, I was aware was also moving around a lot, so I just thought well that's sharing rooms. She went to lesson next morning and we met up for lunch had nice time, spoke to lots of friendly, adventurous people, she said to each one that she hated skiing.

That evening I suggested we explore town, go out for drink to lovely little chalet bar had a lovely chat, she complimented me on my French. We talked about her learning Spanish etc all good. Went back for food, joined quiz with other people, mostly families, but girl her age, she spoke with. Music quiz which for some reason I had a lot of answers for. She suddenly decides she's leaving to go to the room after half an hour. No problem, I stay and chat and quiz with people we are with. Went to room, we laughed and joked for about an hour about her ski lesson and she said the instructor had had to keep rescuing her and I joked they were in a love/hate relationship and we both laughed for a good while continuing this story. Around 10 minutes after this, we settled to go to sleep and she suddenly got up and screamed at me that I'd been keeping her awake for 2 nights and she'd had enough of it and how dare I do that. I was so shocked I just froze in bed and didn't say anything. She then went out slammed the door and went downstairs. 10 minutes later she came back and I ignored her and said that she should put on white noise or use ear buds she then shouted at me again and I said that it was unreasonable as other people are trying to sleep and I didn't understand why she was shouting at me. She then said she was leaving the next day. Which she did and I stayed and made friends and had a good time for the rest of the week.

So If you've stuck with this well done! Was I being unreasonable? Any idea where this came from because I was completely blindsided.

OP posts:
CarrierbagsAndPJs · 04/01/2026 08:28

I was completely blindsided.
Really? I am frustrated with you and I wasnt even there! Bloody hell.

What are you taking for your anxiety?

DoIWantThis · 04/01/2026 08:29

Well the trip sounds great to me - I wonder if it just wasn't your niece's cup of tea - she tried to enjoy but simply couldn't take any more and left - all be it transferring her disappointment on to you? I'm very glad to hear that you enjoyed the rest if the week with new friends.

CapybarasAreJustGuineaBigs · 04/01/2026 08:33

She sounds like a rude cow.

You sound exhausting.

I suggest you don't attempt to holiday together again.

YodasHairyButt · 04/01/2026 08:33

Sounds like she was sleep depirived and at the end of her patience.

didgeridid · 04/01/2026 08:35

Ear plugs are not going hide you flapping around like a fish. But I also think there is more to this rather than her having the hump over less sleep. You sound like you have been over the top

twilightcafe · 04/01/2026 08:36

The two of you are not natural holiday buddies. Add together sharing a room, your anxiety and her impatience with the situation and it was always going to be a disaster.

Anewuser · 04/01/2026 08:36

Holidays are difficult when you are different ages.

It sounds like you left her by herself quite a lot of the time, including even on the plane there. You may see that as being kind to her but she may have felt abandoned.

She can’t ski and possibly thought she’d pick up it quickly but obviously hasn’t.

If she’s sleep deprived then her temper will be short.

You have a condition that bothers you, so imagine how annoying your anxiety is for her. She’s not used to having to support you mentally.

Hope you enjoyed the rest of your holiday.

Namechange568899542 · 04/01/2026 08:37

She’s unreasonable. Sharing a room was part and parcel with having a heavily subsidised holiday. Other people’s sleeping habits when away can be frustrating, like when you discover your mate snores or gets up 10 times a night for a wee or whatever but it’s one of those things you just get on with, and possibly just bear in mind for future trips and plan accordingly.

Presumably she could’ve put her hand in her pocket and gone and paid for her own room if it was so problematic. Screaming at someone about something they can’t help doing is wrong.

MissyB1 · 04/01/2026 08:38

Don’t blame yourself, she sounds immature. I suspect she didn’t enjoy skiing, she was bored and wanted to go home. It was easier for her to blame you rather than admit she wasn’t enjoying the holiday. I’m glad you ended up having a good time anyway.

TheMorgenmuffel · 04/01/2026 08:39

Sleep deprivation is a bitch. It is so hard to function on broken sleep. Hopefully she will apologise.
Don't go away with her again.
Im sorry you struggle with anxiety. Are you getting any help/ medication for that?

holachicatita · 04/01/2026 08:39

You sound like you were hard work to be honest OP. But she was rude. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. If you're menopausal perhaps you were tossing and turning more than you think?

GlassofRosePorfavor · 04/01/2026 08:39

Jesus woman get a grip

i think all replies should state our age as our responses to hearing the word anxious a million times will vary

I'll start! 53

Fatiguedwithlife · 04/01/2026 08:39

Yeah you’re irritating me (and I’m menopausal too) I’d love to hear her side of the story 😆😆

CountFucula · 04/01/2026 08:41

She’d had enough of you and lost it. From your description, your anxious behaviours would try the patience of a saint. Make 2026 the year you tackle it!

FanofLeaves · 04/01/2026 08:41

She shouldn’t have screamed at you and flounced off home but… as someone whose mother makes every trip or outing completely revolve around their anxiety I wonder how much she was at the end of her tether by that point. It can be absolutely draining then add to that trying to sleep in close quarters and being constantly disturbed.

I only went to Center Parcs with my mum and didn’t share a room thankfully but she couldn’t last a minute without the pool/shop/bowling/activity setting off some sort of anxiety or panic attack. I’m sorry to say I would have merrily drowned her on the rapids by day 3 had she not had a wobbly at the top and gone back inside.

She too likes other people to pander to her when she’s having an episode- the pool lifeguard or shop assistant for example- everyone needs to know about it- which it sounds like you were doing on the gondola. Not surprisingly your niece got pissed off.

Doteycat · 04/01/2026 08:42

Every single step of your trip made you anxious. That would send anyone over the edge. Its v v difficult to be around. Esp as you seem to be embracing it ans expext evryone around you to accommodate it.
Get help for it before you ruin your life with it.

EleanorReally · 04/01/2026 08:44

yes i agree that your anxiety would try a younger person's patience
and she is very young - ignore that, i dont know her age.

at least she is honest!
hope you can reconcile

starlightescape · 04/01/2026 08:44

Your niece was very rude and shouldn't have screamed at you.

However, just reading this made me bristle with irritation because it sounds like you required so much support to do even simple things. Dont get me wrong - I am in peri menopause and have also experienced anxiety so am not unsympathetic but if your niece wasn't aware at just how needy you would be on this holiday then I get why the situation built up like a pressure cooker.

I dont think it's fair to expect your travel companion to have to cater to your anxiety to this extent. Sorry, it's just too much. What are you doing to address it?

Treatingmyself · 04/01/2026 08:44

Are you getting help for your anxiety? It’s exhausting to be around.

tripleginandtonic · 04/01/2026 08:44

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 04/01/2026 08:28

I was completely blindsided.
Really? I am frustrated with you and I wasnt even there! Bloody hell.

What are you taking for your anxiety?

This

Soontobe60 · 04/01/2026 08:45

She went back to the hotel because she didn’t want to stay out with you, you came back and engaged her in conversation when she may well have wanted an early night. You annoyed her and she snapped!

Whoneedsanamesuggestion · 04/01/2026 08:46

She was very rude but I think you should not share rooms with anyone. Tossing and turning is really hard to sleep beside. My sister does it when she is incredibly anxious. It's awful.

The claustrophobia in the gondola, hand holding thing may have been a bit embarrassing for her, but it sounds like one small incident...

Anyway, I would avoid her. She has a temper. If she is very young possibly she will grow out of it.

I hate skiing fwiw and only went once. It is not for everyone

EleanorReally · 04/01/2026 08:46

your title should say
Tossing and Turning in the night

Vol8fdop · 04/01/2026 08:46

A disaster all round. At 19, she may have felt nervous, worried herself, add in sleep deprivation. She may also have felt rather embarrassed/self conscious about your anxiety and conversations with people to request special treatment as it also will have drawn attention to her and maybe made her feel uncomfortable. Your shifting around in bed and opening windows likely had a huge impact on her sleep. Likely explains her blow-up. She is young, immature so whilst not nice, I believe you should be the bigger (adult) person and smooth things over. And never holiday again. And try not to room-share with anyone either!

Glad you managed to enjoy the holiday and chalk it up to experience and a learning lesson on holidaying with others.

Overthebow · 04/01/2026 08:47

Sorry but it does and like you were very frustrating and dramatic on the trip, mentioning your anxiety and claustrophobia at every scenario even to strangers, getting off a bus, not wanting to sit with her on the plane. And tossing around a lot and getting up in the night would keep her up, I get you struggled to go back to sleep but why didn’t you lie there quietly?