Ex partner wants to take the kids to Spain for 3 nights

[sunshinecm]

It would be great to get some advice from folks on here who have allowed their kids to travel abroad with their ex-partner. I am dubious that a trip abroad with two children is safe when travelling as a single adult.

My children are 5 and 7. They have a great relationship with their Dad, which has grown strong after our separation. They enjoy staying with him, regularly he takes them for 48 hours on alternating weekends.

However, I am not comfortable with them flying abroad. It's just not safe for one adult to take young kids out of the UK on their own. I have taken them abroad, but I have had myself and someone else with me to support.

I have suggested a UK holiday instead. The kids are absolutely desparate to go to Legoland or to Cbeebies world. I have suggested that if it's important for him to take a plane with the kids, he could fly to England from Scotland.

This is a big compromise for me as 1-2 nights in Central Scotland is by far what I would have been most comfortable with. I extended that though because I want an amicable relationship with him.

Has anyone else had to go through this?

Why is it not safe for one adult to take 2 kids out of the UK?

Honestly, they will be absolutely fine. You are worrying unnecessarily. They sound like they have a fab relationship with their dad, and I’m sure going abroad would be a brilliant adventure for them. One adult is more then able and capable of taking two children abroad. ‘Abroad’ is not a dark dangerous place. Let them go.

Er... what? Do you seriously think single parents don't travel with their kids?

He can take you to court, and he'll win. Get a grip. It'll be fine.

Erm...

I took my two children abroad on my own when they were 6 and 8. It wasn't an EU country, we were hit with flight delays, emergency accommodation and it was all an amazing adventure! We are going away again on our own this summer! ( I have a partner but he's working and wasn't able to come).

My kids dad has also taken them away without me, including abroad. I'm not sure I see an issue.

I sympathise. I wouldn’t want mine to go either. But you’re not being fair. I think you might just have to grin and bear it. Unless you want your ex to start preventing you from doing things with them too.

I don't understand why you'd think it wasn't safe?
By your reasoning single/lone parents wouldn't be able to leave the country.

Do you have concerns he cannot look after the children? That would surely be the case anywhere they went.

It's just not safe for one adult to take young kids out of the UK on their own

oh dear. I never got that memo when I took my kids abroad regularly at that age.

you are being ridiculous op.

Don't be silly. It's perfectly safe and normal for children to go away with one parent.

Me neither! i'd have laughed in someone's face if they'd said that to me.

Some of us are capable of greatness!

You are being ridiculous. Let your kids go and have some fun.

its no more dangerous to take them to spain than it is to somewhere in the uk

I traveled all over the place as a single parent. We live in France, rest of the family in the UK, visited three times a year. Took them to Spain to a house with an unfenced pool. Took extra precautions but life is for living. Experiences are for having.

This is crazy. I have taken my two DC abroad alone (I am married). They’d be absolutely fine.

He doesn’t really need your permission anyway, he can apply for an order.

Let them have fun and get some help for your anxiety.

It's Spain, not Burkina Faso. They'll be fine.

I’ll have to tell both of my parents how irresponsible they were taking the 4 of us kids on 12 hour flights separately after their divorce.

It’s great you had support when you took your 2 abroad but most people can manage by themselves.

My brother regularly took his two abroad for two weeks by himself and is ex wife also took them away too, why is it not safe?

What on earth makes Spain unsafe for 1 parent? It’s Spain! If it’s the outnumbered thing, how do you think single parents do it? Or those of us with more than 2 children? I’ve got 3 - I don’t take someone along because me and DH can’t cope!

let them go.

Wow OP you are being unreasonable.

I have flown with my two children long haul several times as my parents live a 12-14 hour flight away from London and I want my kids to see their grandparents. My husband can't always come with us.

Does that make me irresponsible?

My husband (we are now separated) took my 2 DDs skiing just a week ago and I didn't go - is he irresponsible?

I don't understand your rationale. Missing them - yes I can very much relate to that. But it's not unsafe.

Do you mean you're worried he will abduct them? Does he have European citizenship or another country maybe?

Otherwise I have no idea what you're worried about.

You’re being ridiculous, it’s as safe as staying in the UK. I’ve travelled alone with my DC before as a lone female and had no issues.

My aunt took 4 of us away as kids (all under 10) for a week in Spain and guess what - we all survived to tell the tale!

YABVVU mine went to Greece last year with their dad, this year they are going on a 2 week European road trip with him. I would never deny them quality time with their dad be that abroad or otherwise. Bad things can happen anywhere @sunshinecm this is not about Spain at all, this is about you being anxious, which I understand but you can’t hold everyone back because of your fears

I took my 3 kids every year on my own since I am divorced abroad. The youngest was 4 the first time, there is no issue, it is the same for me going abroad or going to the UK on holiday.

My ex has taken our two dd's abroad on his own many times, nothing untoward has ever happened to them.

I think you’re anxious and I understand. But rather than try to prevent this, talk to him about how you feel and ask him to keep in touch with updates, send pics etc..