Ex partner wants to take the kids to Spain for 3 nights

[sunshinecm]

It would be great to get some advice from folks on here who have allowed their kids to travel abroad with their ex-partner. I am dubious that a trip abroad with two children is safe when travelling as a single adult.

My children are 5 and 7. They have a great relationship with their Dad, which has grown strong after our separation. They enjoy staying with him, regularly he takes them for 48 hours on alternating weekends.

However, I am not comfortable with them flying abroad. It's just not safe for one adult to take young kids out of the UK on their own. I have taken them abroad, but I have had myself and someone else with me to support.

I have suggested a UK holiday instead. The kids are absolutely desparate to go to Legoland or to Cbeebies world. I have suggested that if it's important for him to take a plane with the kids, he could fly to England from Scotland.

This is a big compromise for me as 1-2 nights in Central Scotland is by far what I would have been most comfortable with. I extended that though because I want an amicable relationship with him.

Has anyone else had to go through this?

Unless your kids have significant additional needs I can't see what the problem is. I'd be careful about kicking up an issue too, that would set a precedent you may not want set later.

You're being ridiculous op.

Don't make him take you to court, he will win. 100%.

This is your issue about separation and your perception of risks, and nothing to do with your ex or kids. Both me and my ex have safely taken the kids abroad on our own and they’re still alive.
You also don’t get to dictate where your ex takes his children on holiday. Just like he doesn’t with you.
Don’t ruin your relationship with what seems to be a good dad by setting unfair rules you can’t enforce.

Erm.....

I (female) took my 2 dds to Egypt solo, have also done alot of European countries. I'm really not sure where you are coming from? Unless he has Spanish residency and think he may not return.

Doubt OP will be back

As a single parent I took my two children abroad on my own for many years. I find your comment insulting. We travelled all over Europe on planes, coaches, boats and cars. They had a fantastic time and so did I.

what? I take my kids abroad alone all the time (9months & 3 years old) even long haul ! I didn’t find it unsafe at all .

Oh wow OP I better not tell you that I managed to take my two nieces abroad all by myself. So if I can do it, an actual parent definitely can!

Sounds lovely for them, they’ll have a wonderful time. I’m not a single parent, but have done this and we had a brilliant break.

If he's a decent parent and there's no abduction risk then I don't see the issue and would say that you are being unreasonable.

They'll have a great time.

I’ve taken the kids away solo when they were younger. Most complicated was trying to breastfeed 3mo in the drop off queue at Gatwick and getting through airport with babies and push chairs…. He won’t have that issue!!

We survived with no dramas. YABVU.

Give your head a wobble. A grown adult is quite capable of looking after children of this age . It’s only Spain for 3 days, he’s not traipsing to Mordor

Oh dear, this says more about your parenting skills than your exes!

Why ever not?

Unless his passport and his family are in a country outside the Hague Convention, and he's likely to abscond with them, I can't see the problem.

Is he British? Works in the UK? Family in the UK?

If so, let them go. Assuming neither has special needs, one adult should be fine with two primary aged children.

The first time my dad took us abroad without my mum he accidentally took us out of Spain without our passports on a day trip and had to smuggle us back in under coats. We laugh about it still now and I am 40.
An adult, their parent no less is more than capable of supervising two children I'm not sure why that would be more difficult in Spain than Scotland

Yabvu
If he can’t go on a plane abroad because you think it’s unsafe for one adult to take two children abroad, how is it any safer for one adult and two children to go on a plane to Scotland or walk around a very busy theme park? It’s very unfair or you to dictate what he should and shouldn’t do on a holiday with his children

Maybe he is more confident in his parenting abilities than you?

I don’t see how it’s less safe than cbeebies land or Lego land? I would imagine less crowds

I feel safer in Spain than in parts of Nottingham …

He wants to take them to Spain not Afghanistan. It’s not dangerous for one adult to take 2 kids yo somewhere like Spain.

As he has had them for 48 hours before, you should wave them off happily and check that he’ll get health insurance just in case.

Definitely being very unreasonable.

They are his children too, why should you dictate what he does with them?! Unless there are justifiable reasons as to why I.e he's abusive etc and it's not just because YOU don't want him too?

My Dad took my Brother and I to Disneyland Paris when we were 4 and 5. Very precious memories.

What makes you so uncertain of your own parenting abilities that you needed somebody else there?

If you'd said six kids ranging from newborn to 7 all with high needs SEND, you could have a point - but two children at ages where they're most amenable to being told what to do? Easy.

I suppose he could find himself a new girlfriend who could take over 50% of the parenting - but it might be quite short notice for him to get onto Tinder, have a few dates and book the extra tickets.

My mum travelled all over the world with me and by sibling when we were toddlers and upwards. No idea why it isn't safe. Let your kids go and have fun and you can take them to Legoland. As long as ex is happy to update you i.e. 'landed safely' etc.

I took 3 under 10 on my own regularly. Why do you think it's not safe.

Provided he pays for it all including passports let him crack on... My exh took 6 of ours to France for 2 weeks when we split... He drove...

This is a joke post right?

Of course an adult can be responsible for two children.

They are his children as much as they are his. Stop being so undermining and let him parent his own children.