Oxbridge 2023 support; it's offer month. Good luck all.

[Riverpebble]

New thread for the start of the Oxbridge offers.

Most people we know who supplied to Cambridge heard from their college significantly before UCAS updated. DD heard from her college about 9.30am (though missed the email till 11 because it was not from the college she applied to 🙄).

Congratulations to everyone who got offers from Oxford today and commiserations to those who didn't. I hope they get excited about their other choices very quickly.

It was a no for us today.

Not a day I’d wish to repeat but I know that DS could not have worked any harder nor bettered his predicted grades and I fervently wish for him that the outcome was different. At the moment things seem a little bit down but I’m trying to rationalise by imagining that in a few days we will have moved on, accepted that it may not have been the right place after all and be looking forward to other opportunities.
I think it was the hope of an offer after the interview process that was actually the hardest thing to bear!

Congratulations and heartfelt commiserations to all the acceptances and rejections respectively.

Offer for DS here. Very relieved and delighted for her. Sorry for those with a no. It is a blow for them after so much work but it’s a long shot for anyone and very impressive they even try.

what are the offer holder days about? Are they worth going to?

DD! Was just posting elsewhere on another forum about stress over (adult) DS so it’s a game of two halves here today!!

Best of luck to all offer-holders and those who'll be heading elsewhere. And a thought for the Cambridge set, who have another fortnight to wait in suspense.

@Derbyderby gosh that’s hard, 5 interviews! Ds had 3 and I thought that was hard.
o try and answer you, ds looked hard at the stats on courses. He loved classics but thought he had a higher chance with other subjects- mfl with philosophy. They take a higher %. I don’t know if he was just lucky - I’m sure it plays a part - but he was offered a place.
Maybe take another look?

Well done to those with offers, and wishing those who didn't receive offers a fantastic time at their universities. I'm an Oxford reject, day itself was hard but I had the time of my life at my university.

Offer days - yes, very useful. You get to meet your course mates in college and also students from the year above. The college WhatsApp and Facebook groups start in the summer, and it is great to have a network before you start.

Cambridge NSAA results were always supposed to be today 11/1/23 (which I do think is pointless to know after interviews but before offers, but I digress!) anyway DS has logged on to get results and the date has changed to 26/1/23??

Any others found this?

Is anyone's rejected DC asking for feedback? My DD didn't need to do an exam, but had to submit work and had 2 interviews, is feedback worthwhile or does it just prolong the misery?!?

Unless you’re going to reapply or have other interviews ahead I would think it pointless. Thee will be a hairs breadth between most candidates, especially on the most competitive courses. They also select on contextual data. They freely admit they often choose the wrong candidates. I wouldn’t put my child through it personally.

We're encouraging DD to ask for feedback as I think it will reinforce to her how close/ good she was (rather than thinking she was daft to ever think she had a chance). She's not too sure.

Just to manage expectations in terms of feedback. It's likely to be very generic and will probably say 'very close'.

My ds was rejected yesterday. Initially we were all OK about the news and philosophical and positive about other unis. His term started today and he discovered that of 5 candidates applying for his subject from his school he was the only one to be rejected. He was considered the strongest candidate by the school, whereas some of the ones with offers were thought to have no chance. Also keep hearing of friends' and family dc who got in. So encouraging feedback for others who may feel they're a wild card and wonder if it's worth applying but very dispiriting here to be the only school reject. DS has been texting me saying he must be stupid. We don't think he should reapply and don't think he should ask for feedback. I'm not having DS2 go through this

If you can get exam results where applicable, that may or may not be helpful. For DD's course there was a huge gulf in average scores between 'all candidates' and 'successful candidates', and even so, it was evident that beyond a base point aptitude test scores weren't the be-all and end-all. Which seems obvious, otherwise why would they bother interviewing? But discovering your score was at least as good as someone who got an offer, when you did not, I think might be hard to deal with for some students. Others might find it comforting to know for sure they were at least as good as those who got offers. They will have been, otherwise they wouldn't have been interviewed.

Hmm, I'm not sure. I've kind of been framing it as Oxford's loss, and she'll be brilliant wherever she ends up, but like @Rejects, she's heard of offers for acquaintances who she thought seemed quite weak for her subject. Thankfully she's in good company from her school, who have suffered from surprising rejections from Oxbridge and medical etc courses over the last few years, and again this year, only about half of Oxford applications getting interviews with very few of those then eventually getting offers. I'm going to be somewhat led by her feelings - if she'd rather just put it behind her, that's fine with me. If she thinks she'd like feedback, I'll just talk with her to ascertain what she'll get out of it and if it is thus worthwhile. I don't think she'll want to take a gap year and apply again, and I don't think it would be the right thing for her to do. Oxford was never the be all and end all for her, although she did get more committed as she got further into the process, so although the rejection is painful now, I hope she can move on from it soon.

I definitely feel bad today. I've been quite ambivalent throughout, and have said many times how the odds were stacked against her (as they are for all applicants!), her chances were slim, but again, I started to get sucked in the further she got, and started to allow myself thoughts of 'but what if...'. But it's not about me, so will continue to provide what she needs.

Massive, massive congrats to those with offers, it's an amazing achievement, and commiserations to those stung with rejection. It doesn't define how incredible our DC are and will continue to be.

It's sometimes difficult to unpick personal disappointment from your child's disappointment. I am sure there is an element of inability to brag about DC making it to Oxford in my upset for them. Even though admitting this feels uncomfortable I'm glad I can acknowledge it.

Good for you for admitting it NoCats

I'm haunted by a very pushy couple whose dd was applying at the same time as ds, constant 'which college?' 'Ooh, has he done this?' Now their dd has got in and we will never hear the last of the 'Oh, but Bristol is great too' patronising comments. I've actually turned down a dinner I know they'll be at

Meanwhile ds has come home from school definitely depressed, saying he doesn't see the point of trying any more as he is obviously the dunce in his class. It's really heartbreaking to see as he is normally very cheerful. I truly believe Oxbridge is far from everything in life (I went there myself and didn't like it much) but to have gone to al that effort and be the only one out of five to get a kick in the teeth is really horrible. Weather isn't helping

Have to say after reading/hearing about yesterday, I am increasingly dreading Cambridge results day. I was previously vaguely positive but am now beginning to think certain rejection is ahead. Mostly due to the stats.

I'd go to the dinner and call their bluff. If we believe all the positive affirmations (and it is important to do so for our children at the very least) about 'life after' Oxbridge then I think we need to make them publicly.

FWIW I have DT's. We're still awaiting the result for the Cambridge one. They've both worked so hard. I had no idea how exhausting the process also is for engaged bystanders like parents as well though. Ultimately though it is just a hurdle. One is not defined by Oxbridge for the rest of one's life and to do so is to condemn the future of the vast majority of yr 13s.

You're right I should go to the dinner, the problem is I really don't like them anyway and this is just the last straw. It's not as if ds will know anything about it either way

Good luck to your dt. You're of course completely right it is a hurdle and we have all always been aware of this - today, however, to have your normally cheery child crying at being the only reject in the class (spectacular results for the school who often don't get anyone in for this subject, the teachers must be elated) is really upsetting.

Congratulations to all those with Oxford offers and commiserations to those who just missed out. Please don't be too disappointed if they weren't successful, though...Oxbridge is amazing but there are so many other fantastic universities and your dc will honestly be fine wherever they end up.

I always assumed that dd would end up applying for Oxbridge as she is a very high flier academically and she always loved visiting my old college etc. In the end, she decided that she didn't like the course and wouldn't even bother applying. I was a tiny bit disappointed initially, if I'm honest, but I could also totally see why she made that decision and why the other options were more appealing to her. And once I had accepted that she definitely wasn't going to have the kind of Oxbridge experience that I had enjoyed and had once envisaged for her, I was able to get excited about the other equally fabulous opportunities that she was planning to pursue.

What I'm trying to say is that Oxbridge is great but it really isn't the be-all and end-all, and students who didn't get an offer shouldn't let their inevitable disappointment get in the way of their excitement about the other offers that they will receive. And they shouldn't focus too much on the rejection either... there is a healthy dose of luck involved in the recruitment process! They will find plenty of ultra-talented students in other universities as well!

We had a surprise offer , head of year had literally asked DD why she was bothering - maybe the lack of expectation really helped ( she is predicated 4A* so it wasn’t that random but she is not pushy or confident unlike the other applicants in her year)- it’s so random who they select . It is no reflection on them as individuals or their intelligence. I have mixed feelings as think the work pressure might be huge and there are so many excellent courses at different Universities . It is heartbreaking watching your child be disappointed and i really hope they can see that once they recover from the disappointment they will go on and enjoy Uni and it’s Oxfords loss

I feel the same. Really wish both unis released decisions a bit closer together, it's going to feel like a long fortnight

I think that my point is more about parental disappointment rather than DC. There's an element of wanting your child to be seen to be officially brilliant which, whilst not very attractive, is human.

This thread is about parents rather than DC really. After all they are not posting. Everyone here is talking about how the kids will get over it and of course they will but few talking about their own disappointment. The disappointment that is for them rather than on behalf of DC.

Having talked to friends in RL it seems to be a pretty universal emotion.

Can we crowd source a witty reply for @Rejects to make to 'annoying dinner party couple'?! I can't think of one but someone cleverer than me might...