Preparing for Uni in 2015 continues...

[Chillywhippet]

New thread

Old one here with loads of info

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/2408327-Preparing-for-Uni-in-2015

Beer or mead I rather suspect!

lapsed

Yes that looks great Bagpuss - even her own kitchen?
I'm starting to feel redundant already. Had planned to cook dd her favourite dinners this week - she worked late Mon & Tues & has decided to go out with friends tonight!

Great apartment Bagpuss.

Lovely apartment Bagpuss.

Don't now about bringing stuff back Mumslife, but can see us not taking some bits as not a clue if it will all fit in the car.

Am seriously losing the will to live, as well as the entire plot. Spent the afternoon with DS packing stuff, finding boxes and bags to put stuff into, piling up mountains of stuff. Then get a phone call from work. Where am I? Turns out my boss had me down for an afternoon shift. I have NO record or recollection of this. It's the second time in the past 2 months this has happened. I'm going to get sacked if I don't sharpen up.

After weeks of nagging DS to find out when he has to choose his optional modules, I sit him down at my PC and make him log onto the student intranet in front of me to find out when he's supposed to sign up for his courses. 'Oh yes' says DS, 'I got an email ages ago telling me what to do.' It transpires he's been able to select his modules since AUGUST 24TH!!!!!

And so, inevitably, 2 of his choices are already full. It's taken him 3 hours to decide on some alternatives.

And breathe.

I have said for this parent to come and join us. Hopefully we can offer some advice between us.

Oh bloody hell Lapsed, I think I would have certainly lost the plot altogether!

Hi all. Mind if I join in.l? DS has gone this week and is finding it hard. Started a thread and this thread was recommended

Hi beaucoup. It's hard isn't it knowing they are suffering and not being able to do much.

My DS is more of a gamer. Never goes out drinking or socialising etc, dislikes sport. Very shy, quiet and sensitive. He was reluctant to go into the kitchen on Saturday knowing there were strangers (housemates) in there. I have had a txt and a short phone call (his phone went out of service mid convo due to his provider changing over).

At least your boy likes sport, are there any football teams he could join? What about his housemates? How is he finding them?

Hi Mojo (or Beau ?) I was going to say something on your other thread. Glad you're here. . I agree things will calm down massively drinking-wise when Freshers week is over and it's way too early for your ds to decide to move. I'm afraid he'll find that wherever he goes this week it will be a bit of a booze-fest.

Your sports suggestions are good. Could he also join some societies of activities new to him that involve a bit of 'team doing things' type stuff? (drama, caving, diving, parachuting, debating, performance art - whatever's his bag). Basically anything that's going to get him meeting other people and doing stuff in a non piss up context.

Good luck. You must want to go and scoop him up and bring him home.

Welcome beacoup just been reading your thread.
Not sure what to suggest, except perhaps your DS may find like minded students on his course. And others have said, the clubs and societies for activities that don't revolve around drinking.
There seem to be a fair number on this thread that are not of the heavy drinking / clubbing culture. Take comfort from that, as it means there are many out there, just a matter of finding them.

I have a non-clubbing DD going on Saturday. Very apprehensive that she won't fit in.

Wow Bagpuss that is a lovely apartment - my daughter is in London and has a small ensuite apartment for a BIG price! Had an awful day today as my dd2 who has ME is having a hard week and been very clingy and just as we started school (first time in 10 months) she is now very unwell - im emotionally drained tbh! Exhausted with it all and burst Into tears again today as I walked past my eldest empty bedroom

I'm new here and I'm sorry but I've missed the thread Beacoup has posted - my daughter has social anxiety and is so far out of her comfort zone BUT she is trying! She went clubbing once but has been happy to stay in her room the other 2 nights - she has just text to say shenisngoing to a pre drinks party and then going to decide if she wants to go clubbing! It's so hard worrying all the time and then hearing them sound sad and confused - hugs for everyone

What I meant to say was at least he is ringing you whereas I have had little contact (am not sure which is worse) as my DS could be suffering in silence?

Hello Beau, sorry to hear your DS is struggling, lots of posters have already said it will calm down after Freshers, and it WILL I'm sure. In the meantime, you've had some great advice and I'd say let him know he can text/call you at any time (I sure you will have already said this to him ) and just be there to listen to him.

((( Beau ))) and for your DS also.

Thanks for the welcome x
Just got off the phone with ds. He says the other people in his halls seem nice but all the social stuff they do involves drinking games and getting as hammered as possible. Have said that he should try to go out on his subject social and a couple of others, so he can get to know people. He would prefer to be in his bed with a good book tbh. He is really trying - talking to people even though this is out of his comfort zone but he is worried he will never meet people like him. Have said that not everyone likes getting drunk but he hasnt met those people yet because they are hanging out in their rooms, like he is!
We are trying to stress to him that real friendships evolve over time and when he goes regularly to clubs he will get to know people properly. He cant see the wood for the trees at the moment.

It's hard isn't it? It will all come good for him, you are doing the right thing reassuring him.

Hello, can I join in? My DS is going next Friday, a long way from home. He is looking forward to it and I am so pleased for him but dreading it. DD is on a postgraduate course so has already left home really, so I will have an empty nest, which I am dreading.

DS doesn't yet know what accommodation he will have so we don't know what he will need. Trying not to leave things until the last minute but there is not a lot we can do until we know if he is catered/self catered.

It will be alright . I bet next week he feels different again once his course starts.

I am sorry to hear that others are finding it hard too. I have never really thought too much about the drinking culture but there is a lot of pressure on kids to drink loads and an assumption that people who dont drink lots are a bit odd.

Hi Life when will you find out about the accommodation?

At home Beau, DS's friends would call for him to go out drinking and he would refuse to go out. He preferred to sit in his room.

Hi PUG he is on a waiting list for university accommodation and will be in temporary accommodation if nothing becomes available before he goes. He has his heart set on a particular set of halls which were fully allocated when he got his place. He is gambling that enough people will leave/not take up their place so he can get into halls - he didn't want either of the options which were open to him. Having spoken to the uni again this week he has moved up the list but we don't know when he will get something permanent - he is quite relaxed about this and sees it as a bit of an adventure, which is good from his PoV.