Preparing for Uni in 2015 continues...

[Chillywhippet]

New thread

Old one here with loads of info

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/2408327-Preparing-for-Uni-in-2015

Good one Fairenuff.

Oh Fairenuff didnt think of that one

Oh GAWD I thinknive failed on the talk front!! Did the talk about drugs -
Protecting your drink whilst out -
Never accepting a drink THST been a opened or from a stranger in a glass (date rape drugs!!!)

Getting to pissed whilst out!

Locking her door!

I didn't even think about taxis or handing over handbag if getting mugged - will be texting her tomorrow!! Arghhhh

Oh Lordy Bagpuss, can't tell you how grim weird it is to have these convos with a boy . I'm so fortunate to be a (recent) mature graduate because I have lots of v. young male friends and colleagues, several of whom have worked with DS over the past year, who have been brilliant at offering me us advice!

But in a peculiar way it's easier because DS is neurodivergent - this is just 'anthropological data' as far as he's concerned, and he always seems very open to life strategy suggestions! .

quietly i will be txting my dd tomorrow too with what i missed.

We dropped DD off today, she has been so worried. Usually very sociable and friendly but not at all into clubbing she has been suffering with anxiety (to the point where she is now on beta blockers) for the last couple of weeks.

She traced her flatmates on FB and they all seemed to be hard drinking types but I think this was mostly bravado, she texted earlier to say that out of 8 in her flat, 4 stayed in all evening drinking tea and chatting, 4 went out but they were all back by 11pm, and even the 2 rugby playing boys from Wales were not drunk.

Tomorrow they are going to a BBQ and then watching Downton Abbey.

She says she has no idea why she was worrying.

They WILL get pissed when out.
They WILL NOT check their drinks. Ever.

But TBH, I doubt if students have the money, need ,wherewithal or abililty to plan ahead enough to adminster Rohypnol. They will be out together in groups and are v v unlively to be preyed on by nasty (non-student) males in nightclubs.

Tenner in sock.

Reputable cab firm number in phone.

Yup! Forgot those ones!

Seri, this justs confirms what I suspect - most students are not remotely interested in hard partying when they first arrive at uni. Glad to hear she is having a good time!

Think it us who are more worried about our kids lol. Im sure my mum was the same

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of all you mums (and dads) worrying about your sons/daughters and feeling bereft at leaving them at Uni. I did this twice over - many years ago - about 30 years in fact with DS1 and I was a wreck - I cried for days and sat in his bedroom, and DH said "you're acting like he's died....." I just knew he was going to find it tough and I missed him so much. And there were no mobiles/FB/Skype in those days. BUT that first term whizzed by and before I knew it he was home for Christmas.

I wasn't much better with DS2 but less worried as he is more outgoing but still I couldn't take him - DH took him and I quizzed him about his housemates but he said they seemed ok and that was it! We visited quite often but I used to cry when we left him (not in front of him of course) and didn't stop till we reached the motorway which was about a 30 minute drive. DS2 eventually lived with a girl who was his flatmate after they had graduated and got married after a few years, and now have their own children.

BUT the thing is it really is a good way to ease you into your kids leaving home, because you have 3 years of them coming and going and then it's not so bad at all when they don't come back to live after they've graduated. Mind having said that I think these days it's so much more difficult for young people to afford rents, and get good jobs, so more of them might be returning home - who knows.

Now I'm thinking of my DGD who is just 2 years off going to Uni and that is going to be soooooooo hard for me!

Take care all of you and hope your kids settle well, and have a cry if you want to, it will ease the tension.

Ive still got my nearly 16 yr old dd at home and i know she will be one who will never leave lol. She is not academic like her sister, she has problems with her dyslexia and finds everything twice as hard.

Just catching up, seems to be a very active weekend.
Very sorry to hear about your losses Corro and Moss.

Another drop off yesterday, went well. Glad of our mid-morning slot as very busy as we were leaving, and told had just missed busy period, guessing most o/n stayers taking opting for first thing.

Students very helpful unloading, otherwise would never have done in 30mins. Lucky to be able to park on street a few minutes walk away after, as did take ome stuff and empty crates back.

Helped with a bit of unpacking then walked to campus with DD - lovely to picture what her daily walk would be like. Had a quick walk round, lunch, collected ID then walked back to halls.
We were expecting to leave then, (DD said wanted to shop herself) but she asked us to come back in and help unpack some more.
Left about 4pm in the end. Several texts on way home, mainly asking where things were, telling us how great the WIFI was and a bit about flatmates.
Not heard since - hope that's a good sign. Could see from FB message she would have been online at 2am, so know she's communicating with someone lol.

Safe journey and happy move in to all those off today!

DS deigned to face time me last night for the first time in 3 days. Yes he had got my hundreds of texts but has been busy.
I was thrilled for a moment when he says he did a wash (not known for his use of the machine) but no, apparently he played Squash.
I think he's at the same Uni as Stone Circle's DS because Rugby is the same £220.
He's raring for Lectures to start tomorrow.

Dropped DS off yesterday after a six hour drive. Helped him sort his room for a bit then left him to go to Tesco to pick up the food he'd ordered and came back to find him very upset. Spent a bit more time with him and he was crying. I think it had finally become very real for him and he was completely overwhelmed. He spent last night in his room and texted me a lot. I don't think he's spoken to his flatmates beyond a brief introduction. It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be and I keep bursting into tears.

mossgate, I missed your news. So sorry to hear that you have so much to deal with right now.

EEkbarbara - I feel for you. It is such a big step for our DC. Just reassure him and keep encouraging him to talk. My DS was scared stiff.

We practised starter conversations with him

Last night was out in a club with his roommates. When I asked okay? by txt.

He texted "yeah". When he was monosyllabic I knew he was fine - did n't need mum.

So early days though.

So sorry MossAgate

Eek this thread is moving too fast - I can't keep up!

I'm so sorry MossAgate - what a difficult time for you and your dh

I got a brief call from Ds last night wanting to know where his passport photos were (in the file along with all the other important paperwork Ds - remember I showed you where it was and you nodded and grunted?)

He has been out most nights - he hardly ever goes out at home so I think he's taken the opportunity to reinvent himself as a party animal but he wasn't out last night - I think he'd run out of steam a bit ....

He's spent a fortune on clubs (all sports) plus has registered his interest with the OTC and has got his timetable

It'll be good to get started properly tomorrow- I don't know how students cope with freshers' fortnights

Very sorry to hear about your losses Corro and Moss

We dropped DD1 off yesterday afternoon and helped her unpack ...and put up her fairy lights! Her room was a reasonable size and ensuite. Her flat mates seem very nice and very lively. Some have been there since Thursday so have already done lots of partying. The kitchen was already untidy. With 10 of them living there, I think DD will get fed up of the mess and she will realise how I feel living with her.
DD2 posted a nice selection of photos of the pair of them growing up together on Instagram/Facebook - they will miss each other. Although DD2 is going to see her next Friday as she has tickets for a gig in the City DD1 is in.
DD1 has to come home for a hospital appointment in 4 weeks time so I will see her then - but I am hoping I may see her before if I can bribe her with a meal to meet up with me one evening! She has 2 friends going to stay with her next Saturday night (they are joining her for a major uni music event) and is planning on going to visit her boyfriend at his uni the following weekend. She has a full week on her course this first week with various talks, introductions, lab sessions etc.

Bizarrely I think breaking his ankle on the first day also broke the ice - it meant he had to talk to people and all the people in his halls obviously enjoyed the drama - I think quite a few of the girls have been mothering him ...

...and now I am going to wake DD2 up as ai promised to help her with her Ucas application today! Poor girl is going to get my undivided attention and DH is thinking of hiding her headphones so she has to engage with us

Noits - glad to hear your DS is getting on fine....even with a broken ankle!

So much exciting news! DD took fairy lights too - those rooms really need cheering up!

Advice: monitor your drinking and don't go so far you get your stomach pumped. Actually I think that was all! She's already got a tattoo (huge fiery dragon on shoulder) and I did suggest she leaves a long gap before planning next. She's used to clubs though usually metal nights so I'm not too worried she'll go mad. She's got a newish BF at home who I met for first time Friday and was very impressed but who knows what will happen.

She's going to be quite homesick at first - I remember it's a funny time, you're wandering about trying to find 'your' people. Hope they all settle soon.

hellsbells my DD stayed in last night whilst all her flatmates went out!! She went into kitchen and it was a mess so she cleaned all the sides down - swept the floor - stacked up the dirty stuff in the sink and everything else on the table and then sent me a text to apologies for all the times she had left our kitchen in a total mess!!!! Made me laugh

Mossgate

Quitely bless her! At least she had the good grace to apologise.

EekBarbara your DS will be ok, although your post brought tears to my eyes xx