Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

thank you.

i have wine in the house though. thats a bad idea isnt it?

why am i thinking about drinking already?!

cant bring myself to tip it down the drain

sorry gerbra......also lolling at menowhatsit. How old are you?

My big sis takes agnus castus and has done for years.....things went pearshaped for her in a menowhatsit type fashion after she had her tubes tied. she swears by the agnus castus for night sweats, and a few other things as well, but I can't remember exactly what.

I wish I did feel warm and fuzzy, I just feel ashamed and embarrassed that people had to waste time woryring about me...

I have wasted an entire day on the pc - MNetting and catching up with iplayer. Going to fetch the DSs now, who have also been at playscheme. I had such plans for today.... And wasted the time.. Such a damn failure. Back later. HUGS

manky, I have done that on occasion and been in tears doing it. Hating myself for feeling I needed to do it, and hating the fact that I would have nothing to drink.

Can you put it somewhere out of the way (like in the loft), where you won't be able to just reach out for it if you feel too tempted later?

oh, pc...don't be too hard on yourself. {{{hugs }}} to you too.

i cant think of anywhere i could put it (apart from down the sink!).

i just have to do it. i dont know if i can.

i have to drive somewhere at 7.30 so i cant drink until i get back at 8, hopefully that will help as my crisis time is normally 5-6ish, thats when i start.

Daisy,I'm 36 (are you laughing )

I'm guessing from my age (99% sure anyway) that it's more likely to be booze detox but I have heard stories of people going through the menowhatsit quite early . This is my 4th week of not drinking during most of the week, so maybe naively thought all the sweating would be calming down.

You sound like you've had a good day in the garden...and countdown too! We thought we'd have a look at trying to grow our own but the only free space in our garden is quite shady so not sure how much stuff would like it there. Anything we grew would also have to be in pots too...

MankyM, it's always going to be tougher if wine's in the house. Could you try from next week maybe and make a plan to have no wine in the house?

not really gerbra, as I'm 39!

I know early menowhatsit happens, but it's probably the booze

mankym, second what gerbra says. It's probably not going to happen whilst you still have booze in the house, and if you decide not tp throw it away, and then cave later and drink it, you will only make yourself feel bad. Like giving up smoking, it's much better to plan a date in the future....say next Monday....clear the house out of booze before then and then you can relax a bit more knowing there is nothing to tempt you.

I know you want to give up, but it's better to drink this knowing it's your last week of it, than to drink it tonight, think you've failed again and make yourself even more despondent which might lead to you thinking oh "what's the point" and just keeping going.

If that makes any sense?

I totally agree with that Daisy. When there have been days where events meant I could drink, I've said well I can if I want, so you don't feel bad and beat yourself up if it does happen. At least 2 of those times I've actually not drunk, which I find unbelievable!

(btw I meant are you laughing about me trying to put my sweats down to MP at age of 36, not cos I'm 36!)

Good luck MankyM, set it up so there are as few temptations as possible then you're giving yourself a fighting chance, you'll be able to do it

Gerbra x

really? you dont think i should try today? i thought it was good idea because i know i cant drink til 8.

How about i try for it and promise not to beat myself up if i dont manage it?!

in any case i am really, really going to try not to buy any more once this stash is gone.

thanks everyone. i cant talk to anyone in real life about this.

that sounds like a good compromise MM. I just don't want you giving in to it and then feeling really shitty that you weren't strong enough to resist it. Better to not have the temptation in the house.

and I'm glad you can talk on here to us. fwiw though, I posted on this thread for a long time before I had the courage to tell DH what was going on. I've since confided in a RL friend (who also posts on here so it is inevitable she'll see my name on this thread in active convos). You might find that you can talk to someone about it at some point, but if not, then we are always here

Right, now that I've wasted the whole afternoon on here (well not really as I've had some nice chats and found some solutions to my dodgy courgettes and tomatoes (thanks MM )...I better got and get my poor abandonded DS, although I'm sure he won't want to come home!

ok thats a plan then.

i too have wasted whole day here although got good Excel advice !

been out to the park in the rain with DS so do feel fairly virtuous (and obviously saved the world from courgette famine!)

HI everyone- should we try to avoid words like 'fail' etc? Its just that they're so negative, feeds into the whole self-loathing thing.
If you have a drink problem, getting better doesn't happen overnight, it can be a slow process. Only happens when you are ready yourself too, as we all know...!
I don't think of my relapses as failures now, as they are all part of the whole journey thing.

What do you think? I just think its really negative to describe ourselves as failures- its the whole negative mindset of the language I suppose.

What do you think- any other ways to express things?
Or am I just writing shite?
(Actually, don't answer that>

Hello teasle - good ppost, but I dont know how else to think of myself IYKWIM

Hey Teasle
Trouble is when you try and don't manage not to drink, the overriding feeling is f***e and it's so so hard not to see it like that.

If you relapse, what do you actually tell yourself to stop yourself feeling guilty/hopeless?

And what do you tell yourself when you dont even try

Hello again! Glad you're back, paperchain! . Well, today I got my writing homework book in the post - I reasoned that it may be better to try to have a goal or 2 than try to make the evenings disappear in a blur. I'm sliding along that knife-edge again and I know I'm drinking too much. We were camping at an engine rally at the weekend, and drank a lot. It's quite hard to think of things to do in the dimming light when you're knackered. We did manage a couple of games of backgammon, which I associate with gallons of wine.

Re: guilt. I used to feel absolutely bloody awful after I had drunk. I used to hide for days and the guilt was overwhelming. These days I still get twangs, but I have to let it go.

Paperchain, we are all just pleased that you are still with us! I think that guilt does terrible things. It has taken a lot of talking and stuff to realise that my self-destructive behaviour IS NOT MY FAULT. Keep talking!

my self destructive behaviour is my fault - I am not going to blame anyone else. Only I choose to drink or to cut or to take drugs or to do any of the other things I do to myself. It's no one else's fault. that is why I hate myself so much

good point teasle

pc, I don't know what to suggest. Have you seen/are you seeing a counsellor about the self harm? I'm a bit out of my depth with that one I'm afraid, but the drinking and drugs I can relate to.

PC, it's not a question of it being your fault, it's a method you're using to cope with really crap stuff that life throws you. It's nothing you should be ashamed of. You've got enough on your plate without giving yourself a hard time on top of it all

Drinking, drug taking, eating disorders - they're all just coping mechanisms and there are soooo many of us out here using them!

I am on the verge of running down to the shop for wine tonight - am in a filthy mood and am just thinking fuck it tonight (scuse my French). I think it must be pmt - but yay, at least it means it can't be the early meno* for me

Gerbra xx

anyone here?

I think I've got pmt too. GGGRRRRRRR. Off to bed now,

I don't really care about namechanging on this thread now. I've lurked, and posted on the odd occasion.

Three years ago, I was drinking so much that when I gave up, I had a fit. I'm still looking forward to that day in August when I get my driving license back.

It's really hard, and I take my hat off to all of you.

{{{{{{{{{{{2suagrs}}}}}}}}}}}