Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

Tengreen, for you

aaah that is so sweet of you ,i shall treasure it always . Now for a serious question ,i have been pondering the idea of contacting the AA ,however i work in the public sector and would be worried that someone i see at a meeting might recognise me should they ever come to my place of work ,is there any code of confidentiality ? Also ,whilst i dont think im an alcoholic ,i accept i have a problem with the demon drink and need more help stopping , if you go to the AA would it be frowned on to stop for six months and see if youve broken the habit ? there you go Kokeshi ,the floor is all yours !

Mmmmm 'dont think im an alcoholic ' smacks of denial wouldnt you say

Tengreen, hi- as its a non-professional organisation, there are no enforcable policies, HOWEVER, there is a code of conduct which appears everyone pretty much adheres too. Someone always asks everyone to remember
'who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here'

And remember, alcoholism cuts across all classes and professions. I know a barrister, GP, and some fairly famous actors who attend meetings round here. I think everyone is very much aware that confidentiality is important. I've met people out and about- noone runs up and shouts about AA. You wouldn't would you?! Loads of professionals go to meetings too, and I've never found it an issue personally(and I was a professional too, although havn't worked for a while)

Its entirely up to you if you stop going, and its not for everyone. Its really ok to go to meetings to help decide what you want to do.

Is that ok? Oh, and my experience of it is only in the northeast, where meetings tend to be fairly small.

I managed to keep from the ale for approx 2 weeks after drinking every night for a solid three years and you know what... Last night I drank

I woke up with a hangover and have been so angry, tearful and ashamed that I did it, but, tonight I will not drink! A new day.

A massive thankyou to everyone for keeping this thread alive and I am so glad that I have found it - this will be my new place to help me knock booze on the head once and for all!

MONKEYMONKEY - I completely identify with what you are saying about your OH because I was you 5 years ago. I hated him, alcohol and the fact that booze ruled our lives. He realised that it was ruining everything and stopped.

Roll on another 2 years and I started. It used to be a couple of bottles of lager a night and I felt it was manageable but I noticed I was consuming vast amounts as the years rolled. I recognised 2 weeks ago that I was almost drinking upto 10 bottles of lager a night and taking a bottle to bed with me - just to finish the night off. (How mad is that?)

Sorry Fio- I missed your post earlier in the day- how are you doing?
H

Don't know where the random H came from...

thanks teasle , i have had a look on the aa website and theres a daytime meeting that looks promising called 'lunchtime recovery' ,do you need to ring up before you go or can you just drop in ? I think id prefer it if i could talk to someone from the group first to get an idea of whether its for me or not ,does that sound reasonable ? Ive already started on the wine tonight Im afraid but i shant be posting drunk ,not that i get drunk anymore Just had a really in depth 'wheres my life going , wtf am i doing ' sort of conversation with my best friend which bizzarely has made me feel happy and sad in equal measures . Ive realised that i need to move on ,ive been treading water for the last few years, not making any permanent plans incase they interfere with my wish to have a baby ,as she said why do i need to draw such permanent lines ,why cant i say ,well if that happens thats fine ,but in the meantime what else is there in the world for me ? and do you know what ,theres loads of stuff i could be doing instead ,none of which involves pickling my major organs any further

you could say 'swimming in chardonnay' instead of treading water

flipping heck it's been busy this afternoon.

As usual kokeshi always manages to put things far more eloquently than me. Echo that you are a valued member of this thread gerbra, and we know you have the will to stop. WEll done on your recent sod=briety and keep posting

hey Fio...what's up? I was just thinking we hadn't seen you here for a wee while

Hi to tengreenbottles and Zahrah, welcome to the thread. there's not uch I can add to what's been said to you bioth already, oither than this place was a lifeline for me in the early days and it's like a saggy comfy old sofa now

monkeymonkey, I'm sorry you are going through this with your DH . I hope that he can acknowledge that he has a problem and try to get some help. does he know about his "accidents" on the sofa? or do you keep it from him? Maybe a little brutal honesty from you is in order? Anyway, my brother has had fantastic support and advice from AlAnon, so I hope that they can help you. I hate to think what effect my drinking had on my family

I';ve spent the afternoon in A&E wiht DS who fell and cracked the back of his head at school at lunchtime. He's OK, but has mild concussion, a mahoosive bruise and the headache from hell. I know he feels beter though as he is already formulating reasons why he shouldn't go to school tomorrow

Will try and log on later, but the house is a tip and I didn't get all my housework done as planned....and DH will be mad when he gets back cos I've done nothing since Tuesday.....inlcuding the washing up

HI- yeah, its a good idea to chat to someone who goes to the group. If you ring the local helpline number, and tell them it will be your first meeting, they may give you the numbers of women to ring, who will then meet you outside the meeting if you want them to, or ask if they can give a woman your number.
Different groups do things slightly differently.
Everyone knows what a big step it is to go to something like this, and its nice to walk in with someone, who you can chat to.

I'm not an expert, but this is my experience of it. The womens numbers you are given all have a decent length of sobriety behind them.

At the end of the day, you can chat to someone and decide its not for you- of course you can! or you could go to a few meetings and decide the same.

There are other options available too for you to try .

Sounds like you are really re-evaluating your life- its a hard step isn't it?
i really identified with your 'treading water'- because that's really similar to how i felt. I drank so much all the time that nothing ever really happened, nothing ever really changed.
Anyway, good luck in whatever you decide to do, and keep posting!

Hi Daisy, cross posted.

Lol at treading in chardonnay. i did that for a while before I nearly drowned in vodka...

Wow, thread has been busy today...

Thanks for the kind words guys

(I haven't stormed off under a black cloud, just had a ridiculous amount on today)

have a good evening all

Gerbra x

Blimey, it's been busy here this afternoon!

LOL at saggy old sofa and swimming in Chardonnay.

Well, I managed to get to the meeting today. After all this time, some of the women recognised me and that in itself was really reassuring to know. Still didn't say a damn word, although my heart told me to!. Should have said something really, even just to get it off my chest about the uphill battles recently.
The women who remembered me, just held my hand all the way through the meeting. She just said to me 'it got worse didn't it? well done for coming back'. Truly felt humbled.

On another note, I posted last night about buying the biggest bottle I could find. Stupidly left it down here last night and dd1 has hidden it. She left me a note on the pc this morning. 'Have hidden, in my posession, for emergencies only'....
So at least I know she hasn't chucked it out phew! can't afford to buy anymore. Just got enough left for my smokes and some electric. Am in for a sober one tonight then but will look good for the diary thing I suppose.

Saying hi to 10green and Zahrah...and massive hugs to everyone else.

Hope everyone is doing well tonight?

Onwards and upwards folks

Evening all,

well I managed to stave off the desire for booze last night by keeping very busy but tonight went out for a meal and well....it grips you and that's it, you're caught in the trap!...

Sorry I didn't reply to you yesterday tengreen, I was out at a course and then at work today. But, teasle did a fine job of filling you in on what to expect. I'd just like to add though, if you are a GP, police officer, barister, dentist, judge with really extenisve contact with the general public which may affect your anonymity, there are so called 'professional' AA meetings.

I do think most of them go to regular AA though because of the choice of meetings. I too know actors, comedians, and professionals, in fatc one of my best pals in AA is a psychiatrist. She was advising people to do something about their drinking or she couldn't help them, meanwhile drink driving home every night. Alcoholism really has not respect for class, money or intelligence. In fact the less you have, I think the easier it is to get into recovery. After all, how many people look at a pissed up old wino and say 'I'm not that bad'. All the while being in total denial about the extent of their own problem.

Anyhoo, I would say to you give AA a chance - it takes while to find your feet and get comfortable, and of course not many people go willingly! Remember too there are lots of different meetings so if you don't like one, try another. There are so many to cater for the diverse needs of everyone.

Welcome to the thread Zahrah, it's good to have you here. Don't worry about any perceived failures, just take each day afresh and concentrate on doing your best in those 24 hours.

Fiofio great to have you back! Sorry things are tough for you at the moment, I hope you stay with us for a wee bit.

Daisy, I hope DS is feeling better, what a worry. Did you manage to get your tidying done?

PO, thinking of you, stay strong - you can do this.

Gerbra, glad you didn't take a trip to flouncer's corner. I was even thinking of renewing my CAT fees to contact you. Phew!

Teasle, always good to have you on the thread and your experience of AA too.

BM, Flowertop, hairybiker, dinny, funkydory, mankymummy, bladebal, jellibabe, glowwormish, 2sugars, expat and anyone else I've missed out - hope you are well too.

Hi kokeshi. DS is fine...he has a bad headache and was complaining of a sore neck earlier today but I think it might be whiplash. If he is still complaining tomorrow we'll call A&E to see what they say. they did say watch out for changes in his behaviour as well, and he completely went off on one at DH when he tried to put him to bed. But, he has done this before; just not regularly so not sure whether to worry or not.

hope everyone is having a good friday night.

PO, you all right today lovely?

when I said saggy old sofa, I was getting confused with my face, lol

zahrah...tomorrow is another day. Put tonight behind you and start afresh tomorrow

doing the second half of my breastfeeding peer supporter training tomorrow. It feels really good to be out doing something for me and about me and being able to leave the DCs at home for once.

considered whether to have a glass of red wine tonight, but then thought nah....don't need it. I think that is the first time I've felt like that in such a long time....pregnancy talking, or progress?

kokeshi & lackaDAISYcal thankyou ever so much for your support. I was so proud of those 2 weeks and then it happened - stupid

Its a demon, its funny that I hate alcohol (and what it does) when I don't feel the need for it (during the day) yet I love it when I am drinking it!.(during the night) I suppose that is the power of alcohol and it's addictive vice.

try not to let this get you down zahrah; i found it really east to fall into the oh well I've had a bad day, another drink won't matter train of thought; taking it a day at a time helps get out of that mindset.

well, I'm off to bed so I'm well rested for tomorrow. After being away from work for nearly 16 months; it is pretty taxing on the old grey matter to have to concentrate for nearly six hours!

I'll try and check in tomorrow

Hi Zahrah, it's nice to meet you.
That's the power of alcohol, by the time you realise it, it's got you.
Don't punish yourself though. 2 weeks is fantastic - and you can do it again.

Hi Daisy. Glad to hear your ds is fine. Keep an eye on his head and neck. That's all you can do, or give a quick call to NHS direct if you are worried?
Comparing your face to a saggy sofa? you are beautiful, and you should be proud.

Thanks for asking about me Daisy and Kokeshi. I'm okay. Woke with a bad head this morning, drenched in sweat again. But am pleased I (or rather dd1) did it. I got my cider back tonight and it's totally yack!. Got just enough but is flat as a pancake! Horrible!

Am meticulously planning here. Going to stock up on fruit juices...and will patiently wait for the results of the LFT. And will sort out some more next week. Can't just cut it out yet, need to plan. And lots.

Can I ask a quick question?
Is there anyone here who is proficient in analysing an LFT test?
I mean the ALT's, AST, GTTP and Bilirubin etc? Just so someone can help me sort out and get to grips with the results. I'm sure my mind will be just a blur when it happens. Always forget to ask questions at the right time!

Hope everyone is having a great evening.
Waiting patiently for 'The Ring' to start on BBC1. Love that film!

lackaDAISYcal - thanks and goodnight, have a good kip and hope to chat with you again...

PurpleOne - thanks - can I ask what is LFT?