**Tamoxigang counting down to Easter eggs- thread 48**

[BetsyBoop]

throws some hot cross buns on the trolley

Actually that has terrified me. I want more than 2-5 years more. Please don't write things like that.

Ah mrs that is worst case. If I understand Amber's post correctly, that is regards the 100-1 rudely behaved lumps. And the remainder of lumps are either not cancerous or can be defeated.

Morning all hope everyone had a good weekend.

MY LAST DAY OF RADS TODAY

It's been 9 long months, but today I reach the finishing line

To all of you who are just starting on your journey, or are just part way through! I know the end seems a long way off! But you will get there. It's not easy, but its definitely doable! Especially with the help, advice and great support from everyone on here!

Thanks ladies for getting me through this xxxxxxxx

Mrshodgegilbert, my apologies for writing something that has worried you. That was not my intention. Zippy, glad it helped. Even a decade ago, the cases that were 'terminal' meant that people had little time left. Now many consultants are becoming confident that terminal is an increasingly redundant word; they are turning it into a long term nuisance instead of a worst-case scenario in many cases. For the 1 in 100 who go for biopsy and get eyebrow raising news....and also find that it doesn't respond to standard stuff completely....we get new treatments every two years at the moment (more or less) which means if teams keep people stable-ish for two to five years, there's more and more options available. Even if it ends up somewhere else in the body like the liver, the teams are now fairly 'so what' about it, as they know that surgery and cyberknife radiotherapy options etc are able to deal with that too. Not everyone is lucky, but I've many friends who were told to expect life length of X and who are not only alive and well, but partying away. So it's good news for people like me who were given odds of 50/50 at the start. (Might be a peril of being autistic that I write factually but I write for myself as much as for others, if you see what I mean).

I'm sure you didn't mean to upset anyone but I was only diagnosed on Friday. I haven't been given or looked for any time scales, I really do not want to know that now. I can't even read your new post because it looks like it contains numbers again. I thought this thread would be free of talk like this, perhaps it's not the place for me after all.

Morning all

DS off early to school as it's sats week, eek ! He's calm about which is good, good luck to anyone else's dcs taking them

Really I'm so chuffed for you ! Look how far you have come. Big hugs xx

Amber I always appreciate your posts thank you :)

Mrs it's hard to be where you are now, we understand that. You'll probably find yourself shouting/ crying at all of the cancer ads on tv and on the radio too. I've never asked for statistics from my surgeon or oncologist but does make me feel better than these days cancer is not the death sentence it used to be. Hope you stick around :)

Well done, Really! That is great news. It's going to take me a while to get to your position, but I'm looking forward to it.

mrs, your diagnoss is an excellent one so far: small lump, and hopefully no nodes. That puts you in a very good place. And you were told that youre going to be ok. Hang onto that.

I'm really sorry, the last thing I want to do is offend or upset someone. I'm very new here and you ladies seem to have a real bond and lots of knowledge of each others histories.

Amber, maybe what you last wrote was reassuring but I just can't look at statistics right now. I certainly didnt mean to be rude but seeing numbers and percentages is too scary. Yes, my diagnosis so far looks better than many and I am so thankful but only after surgery will we know the true picture, so I'm very cautious.

It's my daughters first day of AS exams and I'm feeling very weepy but trying to hide it, I haven't told her yet. I need to think positively so that she doesn't get suspicious.

I'd like to hang around, but I may have to skip the number talk. Thanks for having me.

amber we know you didn't mean to upset anyone, and you've posted similar information before without anyone being upset, please don't worry that you've done anything wrong

zippy I'm sure they wouldn't have said anything if they weren't fairly certain, so fingers crossed for you :) and do keep rereading amber's post, she has done her research and she is full of useful and reassuring information!

really at last! You must be so relieved, or will be once you're out of there hope your last session goes smoothly.

mrsrhod sorry you're worried by the stats, but most people have found them reassuring. Also, those are the stats for people awaiting initial results. If you've been told you probably don't need chemo then that is a very good sign.

The thread is for people at all different stages, from initial tests to hopefully having finished treatment and getting on with normal life, or in some cases having ongoing treatment and getting on with normal life, so inevitably some of the information will be irrelevant or, occasionally, worrying for others, but we are all here to support each other, and hopefully you too :)

Ah cross-posted, I'm so slow at typing. Glad you've decided to stay :)

I hope your daughter's exams go well.

really well done! last day of rads hope everything is atraightforward

greeneyed good to hear from you, DF has indeed had cake , he is still tired and has good and bad days but has started to eat more solid foods! And never wants to see soup again!

mrshodge please don't be alarmed- amber's posts are always very rational and sensible and actually give a great deal of comfort,hope and support to many people. A lot of people find great strength in knowing what they're up against - knowledge really is power. I'm sure you'll find loads of support on this thread as many others have done in the past 5 years it's been running. Lots of luck with your treatment !

This is probably a silly question, as I'm sure it is the obvious answer, but after biopsy is it quite normal for the lump to feel bigger? I am assuming it is just swollen, as the doctor did seem to be rummaging around a bit to take the samples and she took 5 from different areas. it was only yesterday that I noticed how big it seems now after the biopsy on Wednesday. I'm having trouble sleeping so not really thinking too rationally at the moment!

Hoorah for last day of rads!!

mrs, you're in a very scary place right now. The waiting and uncertainty are horrid. But we all promise you that it will get better. Best of luck to your DD.

ZombieHugs™ all around.

only - yes - it will be swollen and feel larger - many people freak out and think it has grown but it is normal.

Phew! Thank you.

Really hope your last day goes off without a hitch. Glad you've got to the end.

Amber your advice helped me to feel a lot less scared about it all.

Mrs totally understand the facts and figures are scary but they are just part of all the advice and support on here. It is very scary at the beginning.

Only my lump felt bigger after the biopsy, all the bruising I expect.

I have just come back from my ultrasound and it just didn't seem as positive as I had hoped. They can't feel the lump anymore so she said it must be smaller but did find it and said it's smaller but am sure she also said "not significantly". She said it was difficult to find and didn't actually give measurements. I think I probably harboured that secret hope of her saying" it's gone"!! Silly really as I have only had two lots of chemo. I will get more detail at my next pre assessment I guess.

Doesn't help that I engaged in that dangerous pastime of leaning across my bed and hearing/feeling my calf muscle go twang and now can't walk on that leg!!

really good luck today! Two and a half week more and I will be there too. Can't wait!! I get calibrated for boosts today, the end is in sight.

BTW, I used the MooGoo cream. So far my skin is still holding up very well. So worth considering for anybody facing into rads. I'll post again when I finish, and update how it held up at the end. (I told bare face lies to my radiologist. 'Only using E45?', 'Oh yes'.)

ALL DONE

It was the two nicest ladies working, so we had a good laugh! Obviously things didn't run smoothly! But today I just didn't care, how ever long they took, I knew the end was definitely in sight

So machine was being fixed when I arrived, then they couldn't find the piece of glass that they needed for the boost machine bit! So when they found it I was lined up for the second time! Then they taped the piece of glass in place, but as they left the room the tape started to peel away, so the machine shut off! So in they come again! Then finally the Zapping is done!

They came in cheering! We all hugged, not a dry eye in the room!

I left there today with the BIGGEST smile on my face ever!

Today I begin the process of moving on, and starting to find my feet back in the real world! Although I think the fact I have worked throughout means, it's not quite such a big upheaval.

Thanks again to all you lovely lovely ladies! xxxxxx

And I made apt at hairdressers for Fri morning. I'm going to colour my very short hair a coppery colour. (They will use an organic colour.)
Just incase the very short hair doesn't turn enough heads...
It will be a bit nerve wracking taking off the wig and exposing my new hair.
Unfortunately, my scalp psoriasis has also returned. That disappeared along with the hair during chemo. Probably all the steroids. Going to try MooGoo on that too.

Congratulations really !!!

Really. Fantastic that it's all done. Hope you are going to do something nice now.

Mom. Am sure your hair will look fab.

Ooh, speedy, bed leaning... I'm sure that's advised against in the chemo guidance!. Hope it's better soon. And it's only two chemos down: lots of excellent hard hitting treatment still to go. She did say its smaller. That's the right direction.

only, just to add my ha'porth, I also freaked out when my lump seemed to grow post biopsy. Normal.

amber, your advice has helped me through some dark days. Please carry on!