**Tamoxigang counting down to Easter eggs- thread 48**

[BetsyBoop]

throws some hot cross buns on the trolley

I'll add some pino Grigio. Thanks for sorting us out Betsy

Hot and buttered I hope!
MIL never served hers hot ... Did she not think about the name?

For those re growing their hair, I have just invested in a pocket size Mason Pearson brush which seems to be helping hair to start going in the right directions. Not yet found shampoo/conditioner that gives it any body - tried some free samples of v expensive Ojon products but can't say I noticed any improvement.

aargh I've given up alcohol for lent malt! :)

mildmay - if you are wanting stats and feeling up to it you can feed your details into online calculators such as NHS predict, cancermath and Adjuvant online :) Oncs will tell you (eventually!) but only if you specifically and clearly ask!

I got Emend first cycle on the NHS. I gave the onc my sob story of morning sickness, sick with migraines, travel sickness etc and if he wanted a safe bet on someone who would be very sick it was me! (I still ended up with OOH GP to give me a jab to stop the pucking...) The chemo nurse did say it was very unusual to get it first cycle (I ended up with fur different anti-e + IV anti-e to get things sort of under control to just feeling very sick level...

Hi all.

I have been lurking a bit since being diagnosed with breast cancer last week and everyone seems to be so helpful and lovely here I thought I would post a message.

I now have a date for my sentinel node operation and then chemotherapy starts afterwards. After that finishes I have to decide how much surgery I want. Everything feels so unreal at the moment and it is like it isn't really going to happen. I had my hair cut shorter yesterday and had such lovely comments from all the parents at school- they don't yet know I will most likely not have any in a few weeks!

I have an appointment with the oncologist next week and am very apprehensive about how ill I might feel. I am on my own with the boys and am a bit worried how I might manage, although my ex has been great and has said he will have them whenever needed.

Haven't told the children yet but that is going to happen over the weekend and their dad is going to do it with me. Just worried I might be too emotional- I seem to have kept it together quite well this week. I know I will be a wreck when I have to stop work next week- I love my class.

At least I have the boys with me to keep me busy this weekend!

welcome speedy, though sorry you find yourself here. With regard to chemo you might be having FEC or FEC-T as they seem to be the most common routines. The FEC bit is particularly prone to making you sick if you are that way inclined - how were you for morning sickness when you had your children? This is the worst bit, when you are still in shock from the results and wiiting for surgery/results/chemo/plan. Once you know the results/plan it gets a bit easier, as it's head down get on with it! Shout up with any questions won't you ? :)

Hi there Speedypenguin, you are very welcome, but sorry you find yourself here. You must be in a real state of shock still. It's great that your ex is being supportive - support from others is really necessary and can turn up from the most unexpected people. How old are the boys?

Updating, UK hospital policies on neulasta and similar injections seem to be wildly variable. Mine will give it for tax but not as a general rule for FEc. The last oncology doctor I spoke to described their use as 'controversial', so I think it's not just a money issue.

Thanks for the hot cross buns, Betsy. My favourite!

Thanks for the replies.

I felt quite sick when I was pregnant but was only actually sick a couple of times. I think I just worry about feeling awful and there being no one here with me. I have great friends but not the same as having a partner.

The boys are 8 and 11 so I worry how they will cope. My eldest is quite a sensitive soul and was only recently talking about his gran dying and did she have cancer (she died from ovarian cancer 7 years ago). Really not looking forward to telling them. It was bad enough telling my dad!

I feel better after the surgeon said it was "small and early". It is 18mm and they couldn't see any evidence of it in the lymph nodes during the ultrasound. The weird thing was that I only felt it after I had my yearly appointment with the breast nurse and was waiting for my MRI and mammogram. As I found a lump I had an appointment straight away. It also helped when I realised that grade 3 was not the same as stage 3!

My hip has been hurting for a couple of months so I have been panicking about that. I am having a CT scan on Mon but they say they are doing that more to reassure me.

I guess I will have more questions after I know a bit more next week.

Thanks again

Thanks Betsy

Welcome penguin though sorry you are here of course. Ask us anything please, nothing is off limits
Are you having chemo before surgery ? I've just finished treatment, all in all it took 10 months ! But pleased that this week I was able to go back to work, I'm a teacher sounds like you are too. I missed it so much

Hi Penguin. Children can be quite resilient, but it is not easy telling them when you don't have all the answers. Hope it goes well.

Hello speedy, welcome! you are definitely in the right place for advice, reassurance and company. I am just a couple of weeks ahead of you. I have my surgery (bi-lat dx and node clearance) scheduled for 8th April, my chemo won't start until a couple of months after that. It is interesting the different routes different hospitals seem to take. I am also worrying about pains in bones but this forum has managed to reassure me that firstly it is normal to focus on all sorts of other symptoms - I think we just become very aware of our bodies and secondly, even if the scare becomes a reality there are plenty of people on here still around to tell the tale. I told my dc ( girls 13 and 14) as soon as I had enough facts about the treatment plan to give them some information. They reacted in wildly different ways and continue to change their coping mechanisms on a daily basis but the lovely thing is that it has bought them closer. The school has also been fabulous as have dd1's friends (dd2 didn't want anyone to know). Good luck with that conversation. I felt so much better once I could be more open with them. As others have said, the waiting for results and also the sense of being a ticking time bomb is probably one of the hardest times. I can't wait to start treatment to eradicate the bugger.
Hello to everyone else. It was me asking about the alcohol during chemo so that was good news! Enjoy the weekend.

Welcome Speedy.
I also have a v sensitive 11 year old boy (and his 7 year old brother). Telling them was hard (even at that age the word 'cancer' is so scary), but we concentrated on the positives- that it had been found early and how good the treatment is and, what comforted him, was the fact that the Doctors had said that I wasn't going to die - I actually heard him telling a friend that I was going to be OK because the Doctors had said so! He doesn't talk about it often, but will ask random questions every now and then (usually at she most inconvenient times!), it obviously depends on the individual, but we've tried to be as honest as possible cos he's the type who would fill in the gaps himself otherwise.
Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
I am coming towards the end of my chemo (started in October) and surgery will probably be in May. I also work in a school as a TA and hopefully will be able to start back in September.

Morning everyone else, hope we all have a good weekend.

Welcome speedy I know exactly how you feel. I'm in pretty much the same position as you although I do have a non cohabiting DP and a supportive ex. My boys are 9 and 13 (nearly 10 and 14).

So far I don't think I've shown any physical signs of illness so I don't think it's really sunk in with them. The 13 year old is in full self obsessed teenagerdom and has asked nothing about my condition or anything at all. So far I've not used the 'c' word but would tell the truth if asked directly.

The 9 year old I worry about more. He immediately said he didn't want to see me without hair but was initially excited to see my wig. However when I brought it home he said that it looks nothing like your hair (I had deliberately chosen a long wig as it looked more natural and I wanted something different) and didn't want to look at it .

Why is Emend considered so 'good'???

PS Finally got the district nurse to come and give me Nulasta injection. However nearly snatched it back off him and did it myself after all as he poured over the accompanying leaflets and didn't seem to really know what he was doing!!!

Feline, emend is great for people like me who threw up for six hours solid post FEC1. With emend, not at all in cycles 2&3! Transformation of the whole experience. Lots of people are just fine without it.
Glad to hear you finally got the injection. And no, you so don't want the nurse poring over the instructions!
I thought my 11yr old dd would be troubled by my loss of hair, and it was the thing she focused on in conversation with others. In the event she seems completely unfussed, and barely even notices what is on my head.

Wren What a nightmare. Five minutes of uncontrollable vomiting yesterday was enough for me. My throat was really sore and then I started panicking about having a throat infection and running a temperature (I wasn't)

Feline I'm glad you got the injection sorted, I didn't have them and wasn't offered them I don't know why

My 10 year old hated my lack of hair, actually he still hates it now I have a short style. My 14 year old is fine.

Thanks again to everyone for your replies and support.

malteserzz- I am having the sentinel nodes op first but the main surgery will be after chemo. I am negative for Tamoxifen and Herceptin so was told the chemo is my insurance policy. Because of family history they are going to do the gene test and then I can decide how much surgery I want. Am thinking I will opt to have all tissue removed in both breasts but plenty of time to decide. Am gutted I am leaving my class but a Reception class isn't the most germ-free place!

Am glad you are now back to work.

ConsiderablyBiggerBuns wineoclocktimeyet FelineSad- thanks for advice about the children. I think I will be relieved when I have done it and then we can move on from there.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Some friends are coming round for take away later so will enjoy a relaxing evening hopefully.

Penguin I left my class in May, also reception. They've now moved on to Y1 but I had lots of hugs when I went back this week though they were a little confused by my new hair !

Lots of time to decide about your op then and I'm sure you'll find some good advice on here

betsy given up alcohol for Lent ..... How very foolish

Welcome to speedy nobody really knows how chemo will affect them. I coped fine, even worked part time as well, but some people ave a terrible time. Afraid it's just wait and see.

Throws some Belgian chocolate biscuits on the trolley.

Couple of questions. What is the difference between FEC and FEC- T? And what determines which you get? Also have any of you bothered with a cold cap? I went into our local underwear shop today, it is run by a friend of mine who specialises in underwear for mx. Was quite encouraged with the selection for both the softie and the prosthesis. Took DD1 who is quite enjoying being part of getting me prepared and sorted.

I had a cold cap and was glad I did, it was very cold but not unbearable and although I lost most of my hair I kept some and it did grow back quickly. It's very much a personal choice though

Fec t is 3 lots of fec followed by 3 lots of tax. Which you get depends on what they think is best based on the analysis of the lump.

I agree foo foo, madness !

argh foo, I'll have to pass on the Belgian chocolate biscuits, as I've given up chocolate for Lent too

Usually (and there are always exceptions)
nasty lump but nodes clear = FEC
stuff in nodes with any lump = FEC-T

(didn't do cold cap)

Hello, apologies for crashing in.

I'm not really sure what to say here..

I've had what felt like a denser area in my breast for a couple of months, but kept ignoring it or thinking I was imagining it. Found out this week that my cousin has breast cancer which made me think God I should just get myself checked and stop fretting. So I went to the GP on Friday and have now been referred to the breast clinic as she felt it was lumpy too. I was really expecting them to say it was nothing.

So of course now I am terrified, my kids seems sweeter than ever and I can't bear the thought of leaving them.

I've been feeling quite rough for a few weeks too, exhausted for no real reason and a tight throat and easily breathless. I am now utterly convinced it has spread to my lungs. My breast suddenly feels twice the size and heavy (it's not actually any bigger of course!)
And now when I poke it (which I am doing regularly) it feels ridiculously lumpy and I feel like a complete idiot for waiting.

I am also supposed to be going on holiday in a weeks time, so I was wondering if I could use this as a reason to ring and try and get an appointment this week.

The doc felt in my armpit, would she have said if she could feel anything there do you think?

Could it really have spread elsewhere in a couple of months?

:(