**Tamoxigang counting down to Easter eggs- thread 48**

[BetsyBoop]

throws some hot cross buns on the trolley

I've been googling and re-googling obsessively everything to do with breast cancer and lumps. I know this is the worst thing I can do but I just can't stop myself.

I want to ask what a cancerous lump feels like? But don't want to offend/upset any of you (you've all been so kind). I keep prodding away at my lump trying to see how it feels and comparing it to descriptions.

Thanks mummy . I am going to have a PIC line put in next Mon anyway but will ask them about sore veins. Phlebitis was mentioned when I first started it all but didn't really take in what it was.

zippy I don't think you can tell by feeling. Please don't google (I did and scared myself) as lots of info is out of date and doesn't apply to you. The lovely Amber gave me a good talking to and put me back on the right track. I know it is hard waiting to find out.

Thank you speedy- that's probably what I needed to be told.

Zippy I don't think there is any way to tell really without mammograms or biopsies, my gp and consultant both weren't sure about mine. Stop prodding !

Greeneyed cat when I saw the news about Caroline they were stressing the genetic link to her cancer, though I would feel the same sympathy for her if it was through smoking. I've never thought for a second that anal cancer is caused by anal sex please don't think that people are thinking that

But it is frustrating how people want to pin a cause onto cancers - I think it makes them feel safer. Just a couple of days ago a friend of mine was saying how upset he was after his dad died of lung cancer that people kept on asking if he had smoked. I was VERY upset when a nutritionist ( at the London Haven of all places) did an 'aha' when she decided that my BC was caused by a history of gut inflammation. Even if she was right (I don't think she was), I hadn't asked her to tell me why I was ill, just to give some advice about food (still cross so it that; you can probably tell).

Glad you let it out here, greeneyed cat!

greeneyed I read that my DF throat cancer can be caused by oral sex, he's 70 FFS! I asked the Macmillan nurse when he was first diagnosed if it was caused by smoking, as he hadn't smoked for 25+ years. She said the drs don't know the cause and it was probably just bad luck!

Morning all

Hope everyone is doing okay!

greeneyed there will always be people who need to find a reason for everything, however heartless their thoughts are! Cancer is a disease, like any other disease! It affects men, woman and children! Yes things like smoking can attribute to certain cancers! BUT for most people there isn't a reason, why they got it. I think that's why we all go through the 'why me' moments!! Truth is it's a horrible disease, which no one deserves to get, however they choose to live their lives!

So I have now lost the toe nails off both my little toes! Finger nails are currently holding on! Although look awful! But my one major plus through all this is my eyelashes are growing back, and they look much better than they were before all this Got to appreciate the small positives in all this!

Off for blood tests today, then no more hospital visits for 6 weeks

Then off home to my parents tonight to have a nice long weekend of celebrations!

Sending lots of love to everyone xxx

Morning all! Really - I'm so glad you are done, you have been such a trooper!
Well, I'm all deboobed! Had good night, off the oxygen and patient controlled analgesia. Draining well, prob lose those tomorrow!

Weebara glad you had a good night. Hope you lose the drains soon.

The sun is shining- hoorah

Morning all.

Yay for you being through your op weebarra. Hope the ward's okay and you have nice neighbours. Rest up. soon be home

Sorry about your toenail Really. How's your skin holding up? Hope that's okay. Good news on the eyelashes.

Wishing you all a lovely day. Hope the sun's shining for all.

weebarra glad it went well, I wish you a swift recovery

I knew the cause of my cancer as when they found the tumour they also found over a hundred polyps so knew I must have one of several genetic conditions. I'm not sure it has made any difference to me. Although I get a lot of "bowel cancer? But you're so young" so it can be helpful to say it was caused by a genetic condition, just as something to say! :)

From a scientific point of view, looking into all the possible causes is really important. It's all very well looking for better treatments and hopefully cures for cancers, but it would be even better if as many as possible could be prevented. I hate smoking, I find it disgusting, but I'd never wish that a smoker got cancer or blame them for being ill. Years ago smoking was thought to be harmless, even healthy. I'm sure there are things we do nowadays that will later be found to contribute to cancer risk, it doesn't mean anyone deserves cancer. I find the cellular stuff about how cells become cancerous and why some go on to cause cancer and others are killed straight away quite fascinating. I'm planning to do a bit of reading about it when I've finished my degree.

Some people react to any hint of a cause or contributing factor as being blame, but it isn't usually. With smoking, quite possibly, but when it comes to other cancers, I don't think anyone blames people. It's more that if causes can be identified, they can be avoided if at to all possible. For example, it would be good to know one way or another with the whole aluminium deodorant issue. If it was shown conclusively that aluminium in deodorant increased risk of cancer then there would be a rush to develop decent aluminium-free deodorants and that would reduce future risk, without people having to make the decision to have a less effective deodorant, just in case. Or if they're definitely safe then researchers can focus on other possible causes. I don't think anyone would say that people who had used deodorants were in any way to blame for their cancer.

I take the pill at the moment. If, heaven forbid, I were to get breast cancer in the future, I wouldn't accept any blame for it. I've made a conscious decision that a small risk of breast cancer in a future that I may not have is worth it for a reduction in discomfort and nerve pain now (period pains affect my new bowel design).

Gosh that was long and rambly sorry. It's something that came up at a course meeting thing I went to after treatment.

Sun is shining and birds singing here, I hope it's the same where you all are

greeneyed that link had never occurred to me, I certainly didn't think that's why you had cancer! I saw that thread but didn't read all the way through, but quite soon after that person posted, someone told them that there was no connection and posted an NHS link, so I think it's just one idiot rather than a widely held belief. Please don't let that one idiot upset you

Also greeneyed I know we've crossed paths a lot as we are fellow bowel and bottoms people, but I can't remember if you said you were still having pain or if it was before/during treatment? I only mention it because I've had some nerve pain in my bottom, they think a nerve got damaged during my operation, which is quite likely given what they did and how many nerves are in that area. Indescribable pain, but I expect you'll know what I mean. I've finally found a drug that seems to help. It's gabapentin. I thought I'd mention it just in case :)

weebarra well done, wishing you a trouble free speedy recovery

smee my skin blistered the weekend after my normal Rads had finished! BUT that is all healed now! I now have a RED square on my breast from the Boosts! Plus an area about the size of a 2p on my collar bone, that is like a scab! But it seems to be healing well and quickly! So all in all skin is pretty good!

Oh I think I missed what happened to you really. Did you have a break or something? It all sounds a mite protracted! Hope the new bits don't get any worse.

Glad you're through the op, Wee. Hope that you lose the drains quickly.

A long oncology consultation today. Fake boob checked. Swollen arm checked (lymphodema; annoying). Got all the info on rads and a prescription for tamoxifen. It only occurred to me after I'd left that no one had briefed me about tamoxifen and I don't have another appointment. The sum total of my knowledge is what I have gleaned from this thread. So hooray for mumsnet; I might be back for advice...

Hope recovery is going well Wee and that you'll be drain free soon.
Wren, I was given a Breast Cancer Care booklet about tamoxifen, maybe worth a look on their website?
I had my pre-op appointment today, op for bmx next Tuesday, all seems very real now!

Hope everyone else is having a good day and enjoying the sunshine if you have it.

Good idea, wine, ill do that.

Wishing you a speedy recovery weebarra

Yay for today's post! Zombie's CT scan appointment is confirmed for next Tuesday afternoon.

She'll be having scan of thorax, abdomen and pelvis with contrast. That should definitely reveal any little nasties that may be lurking.

Very best of luck with that scan, zombie. Here's hoping for no nasties at all, not even little ones.

That's something nice to look forward to Zombie.

I get the results of my scan of the same next Wed so we can compare notes.

Out in the Garden today in factor 30, hat and sunglasses ..... Looks like my days of sun worshipping are over

I've had my pre op today too, lumpectomy next Wednesday with sentinel plus two node removal. I worrying more about the follow up appt on the 6 June when I find out if their initial diagnosis was correct or it's all much worse.

I haven't worked out who everyone is yet, but names are becoming familiar. I hope those coming through surgery are comfortable and well done to those finishing treatment.