**TAMOXIFEN**22 !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yikes- here we go...

isn't the Voice and Silent Witness on the same channel topsy? (I agree it clashes with Vera which I like too though)

Figgy - we had Aldi version of Bailey's at Christmas and it was just the same as the real thing. I might sample the Pimms - our Aldi is a bit out of the way, but DS has one near him and will pick me up stuff I fancy

Fingers crossed that scar stops playing up now.

Ned - hope your mouth is healing up now and you can eat properly. (I was told that fresh pineapple was good for keeping the sores at bay - but don't try to use while you actually have ulcers because it's agony!!)

MAS -sorry SIL is being a bit precious, but never mind - BIL will love his picture.

Good luck for next week Gig, - remember if you do start your rads - arm yourself with a good book, because there can be hold ups and waits. (Hopefully there won't but better to be prepared)

I drove to Sainsbo's and back in the pouring rain today - and did a few roundabout (my major phobia but I starting to cope with them better)

I've got my plastics consultation on tuesday and endocrinologist on Wednesday, - so a bit of a medical week for me.

Figgy, that scar's been a bit epic. Can I join in on the feet ache, as ME TOO. So sore. My friend who was treated for BC at same time as me, has just been diagnosed with Osteo Arthritis and she's been told FEC chemo can trigger it. Am wondering if that's what's up with my feet as she had similar. Grr...

Eight/ Ned, I know you're on / about to start Tax, which I seem to remember being incredibly daunted by. Tax is strong, but the great thing is it's blindingly effective. Think you said up the thread that you prefer it Eight, and I did over Fec as was so horribly sick on that.

Eight been reading back and realised you had to spend some time in hospital, which must have been both boring and tough. Reducing your dose sounds like the way to go for next time. They did that for me too and that got me through to the end with no more major problems.

MAS, I have a SIL who I have to tiptoe round too. Maybe we should shove them in a box with the rogue MIL's.

So Hanover was a Troll. Seriously could biff her one if so. As Kurri says we're all quite robust on here, but others not so much. Someone could take her seriously ffs...

Waving to all others. Sorry not to post to all, but am in a complete panic about work. Have spent all day at Bletchley, with Grandparents. Great place - incredibly interesting and atmospheric and of course perfect for a small boy who's into spying. Means I've failed to do any work though, other than on the train on the way there and back. Eeek.. Better get on.

Hanover was a troll? Yeheavens, people's lives are at stake here...!

I think I need gin.
Hold on, I don't even drink gin

Smee, eek re work panic. Me too, fwiw. Have a . It helps the concentration in virtual amounts.

Good luck with the work Smee, - Bletchley is somewhere I'd definitely like to visit - very interesting I imagine (no doubt mini-Smee has come home filled with new espionage ideas )

Amber, am drinking with you. Concentration needs a boost.

Yes, little smee is currently holed up in his secret bunker behind the sofa and has made a morse code tapper out of a clothes peg. Have just heard him chastising DH, as apparently he'd signalled for a crumpet, but DH didn't get it.

Yep here too in time for the voice.

I know amber - I am feeling pretty wobbly re scan but just as well I am not susceptible to woo shite complementary therapy or might succumb.

at little Smee and his code.

Tom is looking very day glo tonight

Don't diss Tom !

Backs away from angry Topsy.

I luff Cerys tho

If Hanover was the writer of the book, then is also a man . . . Is it now acceptable to say how [shocked] and I was, although I missed out on posting. kurri speaketh the truth - searched for poster, and has had posts deleted elsewhere too, in life limiting illness etc. Utter madness and irresponsible in the extreme. . . Glad we all ignored and told her/ him what rubbish the general idea was.

I have oncologist appointment on wednesday. Sounds like a busy week for appointments etc. Next Chemo is Monday week.

I am irrationally terrified about the Docetaxol smee. I don't know why really, I guess it feels like back to square one with the unpredictability side of how I might react. I have suffered with the sickness/ bloating/ constipation etc with the FEC, so would be good if that was less, just scared about the aches and pains and going back to feeling like Ive been hit by a truck. Am not good with pain

at little smee and his code. Read it out to DH and he declared it as "genius" !

I have a girl crush on Cerys ...

Am getting pissed off at the thought that Hanover was promoting their own agenda here .
Some people have neither morals nor conscience do they ?

Glad I stuck my oar in and had a go , I normally sit back for fear if offending .
But sometimes people speak such shite I have to say something .

we were far too polite really - but I suppose there's the danger of a misguided person innocently posting.
Worked v hard today on pictures and cards so am now having my wine and crisps. Dh has roasted a duck !
Lots of love to those having treatment/appointments this week- will be sending out the calming vibes.

Just spent 30
mins at Sheffield and now the train is going back the way we came. Just :( engineering works.

Interesting evening out with my bro, but must say I preferred the support band who did lots of covers really well. The Sex Pistols tribute lead singer was a bit of a twat tbh.

Mum was ok again today, had drunk lots and eyes less sunken and no sign of hallucinations. She is worried about weeing the bed, she had not asked to be hoisted onto the commode and there isn't mich space for that any way. Hope they send her home tomorrow. Hospital not a good environment for her. Did fix the radio for her today, can now get radio 2 and 4 for free on the exorbitant patientline thing.

I'm with you Amber, could do with a !

blardy internet. Waiting for a stronger signal before I can post this...

Wish we could know for sure Hanover was the author of that book - then we could justifiably write our own 'reviews' for his book on Amazon.

Ned, I was scared of Tax too, but honestly for me it was better than FEC. And at least it's one closer to the end.

Jane, glad your mum should get home tomorrow. Sounds like she's had enough of hospital.

Lots of appt this week then. I'll be more supportive once I've hit this horrid deadline. Working and Easter holidays just don't mix somehow..

We don't but it's bloody suspect that all but two posts (one of which was about getting your book published) was about the book.

It is also a shame as there is room for sensible books that are not of the "waiting for god" variety.

Right back to the voice .

And if I can say it again, it is massively reassuring knowing I can come here and that others are going through similar with appointments etc.

missed my connection at Leeds but about a minute :( but should be home soonish. Maybe watch silent witness if I can stay awake...

Ned, I got on better with docetaxel than with FEC (apart from the last one, which was a s*d). Some do. It's very individual.

My next few weeks look like hell in my diary. Argh. I can do this...

Course you can amber - just a day at a time (note to self to remind her boss of work I did 35 weeks pregnant with a massive tumour 16 hours a day)

Ned just want to say how amazingly well you are doing. Am so glad the Difflam is helping, and I totally get the increased fear at 'starting again' in the middle. For some reason I was more scared of the second leap into the unkown too. I had Taxol not Taxotere. Whose idea was that to name both 'second half' drugs so they would both get called Tax? Tsk!

Figgy I had some of that Aldi 'pimms' a couple of years ago and thought it was fab - couldn't tell the different and, like you say, a fiver a bottle!

Hope you enjoyed the duck Mas. I did one for the first time recently (because they were half price!) and we all loved it - much tastier than chicken. Followed Auntie Delia's advice - poke it with a skewer all over, roast it on a rack, pour away the fat, and cook for a long time - so it wasn't fatty at all, just lovely and moist. Mmm.

Have been struggling a bit here with my anxiety etc. Felt dreadful this morning - anxious sick feeling, dizzy, The Fear. Anxiety seems to be my 'baseline' feeling at the moment. Any tiny bit of 'stress' on top (like making decisions) tips me over into feeling very wobbly indeed. Does not help that my mum too was taken into hospital again on Wednesday, another of her heart-related funny turns. Was released same evening but still feeling very weak. One doc changed her heart meds then another came along and reversed the decision, which doesn't inspire confidence.

Also, it's the coffee morning at my chemo unit again tomorrow - always bitter-sweet as we always have a good laugh (and lots of cake), and I like to help out the newbies with advice, but I know a couple of the lovely ladies there are not doing so well.

I see others have appointments this week too - will be thinking of you Gig and Kurri and...everyone else, sorry my memory is so lousy, I can't keep up!

Also Stars so lovely to see you. Sorry you have been struggling too, emotionally and physically. Big gentle hugs to you x

Good luck to Smee and Amber for their busy weeks, and lots of love too x

the duck was really yummy !
Sorry that you are feeling anxious lime and the additional worry about your mum - I do sympathise.

Lime, I reckon anxiety is an almost conscious state. Every time I get cleared from one bout of neurosis, something else wades right in.

Stars, I meant to say hello too. How lovely to see you, though you've had such a tough time. Come and talk to us more if it helps. We'd love to see you here more. xx

Jane, hope you got home okay. How annoying to just miss a train. Especially after the day you'd had.

Just shut down the work - off to find DH and the sofa. He'd better have some wine ready. Night all. Here's to an easy week for us all - especially those with appointments. Sleep well.

Feel a big of a fraud being on here but Gigondas sent me the link.
My Girlfriend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and is having a double mastecomy.
I wont see her for a month so is there something that would be useful that I could buy online and send to her or something?
She is also chosing her treatment before telling her family (she has a family history of bc so wants to decide before telling them) but is having doubts about chemo.
Chemotherapy made her aunt infertile and she is petrified that the same will happen to her (she is 30 and has no children) I know it is her decision and all (even if I belong to the camp of 'give me drugs') but is there something I could say or tell her to not make her so petrified about the chemotherapy making her infertile?
It is a new relationship and being on the otherside of the world at the minute makes it harder.
Thank you.

hi timmy welcome- you aren't a fraud at all and I'm really sorry to hear about your gf - it must be very difficult for you being so far away.
Being blunt there's no point in being fertile unless you're still around and well enough to put that to use. I'm sure her medical team will be able to advise on ways of preserving fertility (I know little of this I'm afraid) but if chemotherapy is recommended then she'd be very wise to go with that treatment. It's all very overwhelming at first -getting your head around the diagnosis and treatments and important to have lots of support. She is very welcome to join us here, and we will hold your hand through this too.

I'd send something that smells nice and stuff to read/listen to in hospital.