*** TAMOXIFEN * 12 ***

[KurriKurri]

Tada! A shiney new thread - get me with my fancy asterisks

scarves sound great figgy- and definitely have some tonight (and no ironing !)

Have received junior Cakes's story in the post and it's great ! definitely inherited her mother's writing talent ! Am very touched that she sent it -bless
Hope everyone is ok,and amber- really hope you are feeling easier and less troubled. Am off to an all day mindfulness thing tomorrow,so hope to return calm and serene. xxx

wishing you lots of luck and calmness today amber -take care and try not to be anxious

btw -went to Mindfulness day yesterday (meditation,teaching,relaxation-some silence but not all day as in the course graduates mindfulness days)
Was good but I came home feeling a bit down which is upsetting as the idea is to feel refreshed and reinforced in one's practice.
I find the idea of sharing very hard -the people are very nice and some have been to all of the previous days so aren't strangers- but I feel so shy and embarrassed at speaking in the group (some OCD ambassador-though am miles better unseen on the phone !!) Also,despite everything,the idea of a person saying things like 'what I need for me...' etc etc makes me cringe because I find the 'me' thing indulgent and self obsessed -if that makes any sense ? The concept of 'me' time and 'pampering' makes me quail too. I think it's just the way I've been brought up- get on with it quietly and don't draw attention to yourself and don't be needy ! I don't find anything awkward about this lovely thread and feel free to say how things are- perhaps because I can do something in return ?
I feel a bit upset that it's made me feel like this as I do love the idea of Mindfulness. Anyway,forgive all this on a Monday morning - am having a back to work feeling- dh back today and I must get on with the website thing and other stuff..

I think sometimes this kind of session can go either way, because they make us examine things that are difficult. It's a shame because it has the potential to be so good - but sometimes there is a bit of pain first IYSWIM. I'd stick with it though, as you do feel it is helpful generally.

Glad you liked dd's story. Her spelling went to pot a bit but I think that was excitement at getting a flow on

Spent a busy weekend helping a good friend who is recently separated to put up her new tent, so she is confident she can do it for real when she goes away.I am no camper so was very little help, but I gave over our garden to do it in, and made encouraging noises - and lots of . Then went to the local agricultural show, which was fun. dd was invited to go in and meet the hounds from the local not-fox-chasing hunt, which she loved - and was given a quick go on a lovely old accordion.

PS - I got up on Saturday morning to find a buzzard actually standing in my back garden tearing up a sparrow. Yikes! It was a bit gory, but lovely to see him at such close quarters for such a long time.

Morning everyone, just popping in to say hello.
Wondering if anyone is on or has taken Femara (Letrazole) and what the side effects are.
Hope Amber and EarthMother are ok.

Morning all. It has been a difficult weekend, quite weepy at times and last night I found myself being intensely angry. I guess you do go through the range of emotions.

My cousin had a double mastectomy 7 years ago and has since had a reconstruction. She has offered to come and "show me hers" so to speak, should I or shouldn't I.

Any advice??

Morning, Framey. Sorry, I can't help on this one - hold on though, I bet someone else can.

Earth - the emotional turmoil is to be expected I am afraid. Just let it run, it's painful but better out than in, as they say. I have not had a mastectomy so may be speaking out of turn, but I'd say it may well be a good idea to see how your cousin's chest looks these days, I think you may find it puts some of your worries to rest.

Morning all.

MAS, it takes all sorts to make the world go round and there are some people who like to open up and spill their souls to the world, then there are others (like yourself) who like to keep things close to their chest and would rather not reveal their innermost feelings. It's not a failing on your part at all.

Yuk at the buzzard killing the sparrow Cakes but DH loves to see them in our garden, and Sparrowhawks too, even though they leave carnage.

Earth, I would be tempted to take a peek. If she's confident enough to show them to you then they must look good, which can only make you feel better about undergoing a reconstruction at some point.

Well, we're all exhausted in the Figgy household. DS2 has a tummy bug since yesterday morning and isn't even managing to keep much water down. He isn't the quietest or patient of patients so it's not been easy but I've been calm and collected (even though it was DH who got up in the night and ended up sleeping with DS2 in the living room). DH is catching up on his sleep now and I'm on 'bucket duties'.

Hoping Amber's feeling ok about today.

Morning all
on
Not feeling very ok about today's MRI and ultrasound as I'm still struggling with loads of SEs from last week's last chemo and I'm claustrophobic, but it's gotta be done.

hope it'll be ok and soon over amber.
Poor ds 2 figgy
I can't help with letrozole either framey,I'm afraid.
Earth- I'd be tempted to look - am sure it will look a whole lot less scary than you imagine and might be reassuring.
Thanks for words about the mindfulness- I think I need to just concentrate on my own practice- I am afraid of faiing at it or not being able to keep it up as it's my lifeline against anxiety (along with the very helpful anti depressants)
Anyway,am going to do some work which should make things better
Coffee please Amber,if you're offering- I have some spicy cheese scones left over from yesterday.

Hi Amber, Sorry you're still suffering from the dreaded SEs. Re the MRI scan, I found a good strategy to keep calm and to help me go to sleep at night. I choose a subject (girls names, boys names, animals, flowers - that sort of thing) and then try and name as many as I can for each letter of the alphabet. It helps me get off to sleep at night but also gives me something to think about when I'm trying to get rid of scary thoughts. I wonder if it will work for you?

Thanks everyone, I'm inclined to have a peek and as Figgy says if she's confident enough to show me it can't look bad.

MAS please pm me the spicy cheese scone recipe, sound lovely

I had to cancel an appointment with my GP this morning and asked if she could ring me when she got time. She rang and I told her the news and she seemed very shocked and upset for me but full of praise for the surgeon I've been given, he's very very good apparently.

have Pm'd the recipe link Earth !

I am thinking of you amber....whilst doing a sunshine dance for smee and topsy too.

Things a bit hectic this end, so only flying through, sorry.

Earth I would have a look if your cousin offered....my friend who is a vet offered to look at my scars, and check they weren't infected.....I took her up on it......no shame or dignity left here I am afraid

Thank you MAS, I'll give them a go

Sparkle after a dreadful experience with a male GP years ago I swore that only female docs would ever get near me again.

My DD asked if the doc at the hospital was male or female and even though I'd been examined, scanned, and biopsied by him, it took me a few minutes to remember. To be honest by that time I couldn't have cared less if it was a performing monkey

Like me being offer a sheet to cover my backside when I was giving birth to ds.........I just looked at the midwife like she was out of her mind, and declared no at this point all dignity has gone!

Sorry to be so vague, but are you going in again tomorrow Earth?

I don't see the consultant until 23rd. Every day is a bloomin lifetime!!!

MRI scan, ultrasound and mammograms...lump completely gone but so had the coil marker they'd put in to mark it, so much furtling about trying to find where it had sneaked off to.
Oh phew.

I know what you mean about not caring who sees what after a while...I think I've lost track of how many people have seen what today!

hooray for amber !! I am still ludicrously shy about undressing etc - madness as I've had to do it so often. I used to cling to my bit of paper covering during radiotherapy to hide my modesty - it always slid off the other side of me anyway.

So pleased it went well amber, and glad that's out of the way for you, I hope you're feeling a bit better now, and SE's are leaving the building.

Earth - waiting is the biggest pain I know, - it seems to take forever, you are bound to feel shocked and weepy at the moment, its all very recent for you. But once you start getting your treatment plan sorted out, you will be able to see the way forward, and I promise you will start feeling calmer. I'm glad you GP is sympathetic, remember if you are having problems dealing with it all, the GP can easily give you something to help you sleep etc., be kind to yourself, - nice long baths, chocolate, wine and favourite DVDs are the order of the day

Oh and I would recommend having a look at your cousin's recon. I'm sure it will help

MAS - I'm sorry the mindfulness day has left you felling a bit wrung out, - I think cakes is right sometimes short term these things can make you feel all over the place, but once you've assimilated it all you may feel better

Cakes - very impressed with DD's literary determination - well done to her. Am very jealous of your buzzard (even if he was eating a sparrow )

Hope everyone else is feeling Ok today, scarves sound lovely Figgy, -hope DS2 feels better soon, poor chap.

Sparkle you sound rushed off your feet - ?

Framey - sorry I don't know anything about that drug, - might be worth putting up a thread about it - bound to be someone on MN who's on it

I did a session of Tibetan Healing at yoga today, - very relaxing, sort of deep breathing, very controlled exercises and massaging yourself. Then afterwards met a friend for coffee, - her father died a couple of weeks ago, she's been rushing about sorting out the practicalities, but now the funeral is over, it's suddenly hit her I think and she's feeling pretty down. So had a good chat about it all.

Just popping in briefly. MAS I meant to say I was really impressed about you being an OCD ambassador - very brave of you. Hope you'll feel more positive tomorrow.

I am a bit tired due to walking every day for last 3 days ( very nice trip to the lakes - not sure if I mentioned this) and also back to work today and also ferrying DS to work expereince every day for next 2 weeks - hope its worth it.

Thinking of all of you having treatment, viewing scars, waiting for results. Hang on in there - I found (and still find) walking the best therapy for me (despite the comment above. I'm tired due to longer distances and some climbing up! Very feeble really as only walked 3 miles one day, 6 the next and 4.5 the next so I am just sooooo unfit its disgusting)

Anyone else waiting for AS exam results on Thursday?

ah thanks KK and SR - am feeling happier today
Very impressed by walking SR ! We're waiting for the following weeks GCSE results as ds took RS this year..whether he will be bothered to walk to school to get them is another thing. He had breakfast at 11.30 today,then returned to his room,appeared at about 2 for lunch and back to his room etc etc...I'd be desperate to get out !

I was going to say YAY to amber but it doesn't seem nearly good enough. I am so very pleased. Good way to start the day.

Fingers crossed for RE exam results MAS. I am amazed he hasn't gone cabin crazy, but i guess that's kids.

KK - the tibetan healing sounds fab!