Is Liz Fraser helping all women or just herself?

[Cambridgebunz]

Liz Fraser boldly claims across all mediums that she aims to help all women live their best lives. However, there are suggestions, allegations, and evidence to the contrary.

What are your thoughts on the validity of her recent postings in the realm of domestic violence, parenting, mental health, neurodiversity, travel, running, holistic wellbeing and more, as a self-promoted "influencer"?

Keep your thoughts wholesome, relatable and current to her most recent postings. Do not mention ex-partners or her children by name. This discussion is to better understand the objective of and validity behind her “work” and words.

Why is she using foul language today? Is she trying to impress her male followers or fit in as 'one of the lads'? Is she losing control?

I'm surprised that the NCDV endorses this approach, but I assume they train their staff and ambassadors. I doubt that the head of the school where my kids attend and where LF is a governor, does🤷‍♀️. I hope that the focus of training for NCDV and St. M's ambassadors is on maintaining a respectful and empathetic tone when discussing such topics.
I don't mind if people swear in their private lives, but I think swearing is inappropriate in these contexts. It could trigger or distress individuals dealing with sensitive issues.
Educators and professionals addressing mental health and domestic abuse should use respectful and appropriate language.
This is crucial for creating a safe and supportive environment for everyone, isn't it?
I'm confident Liz will label me repressed and a troll for my opinion and expose me to her baying fan club to tear apart my lowly opinion.
Some feminists argue that language can perpetuate gender stereotypes and inequalities. While some advocate for more inclusive and respectful language, others argue that individuals have the right to use language as they see fit. Yes, they do, but I don't want these people representing me as a woman or parent in any capacity. As such, I will approach the school with my thoughts on Liz Fraser's suitability to be a parent ambassador. I won't be the first to do this.
#notinmynsmelizfraser

She's obviously seething, and she used this as another means to communicate with whoever she believes reported her. These berks who egg her on are endangering her own mental health. They don't know her.

Do you agree with this statement Liz? Seb will be blocked if he carries on like this 😝

Well I’ve watched that reel today with sound and then again with the sound off. I don’t feel empowered by it, I don’t feel this person is advocating for my rights as a woman. It’s angry, petulant and I don’t think they are particularly ground breaking ideas.
Dealing with my mental health is very personal it’s not something I’m going to shout from the rooftops about. That’s just me maybe other people have a different viewpoint. Just like no way would I post semi naked photos in the public domain. Again that’s a personal choice but be prepared to be critiqued on that if you post and talk about your platform.
IMO this person has again read the comments on this thread and reacted to that. If you have a platform then use it wisely. If you are saying you are using it to help people then perhaps get those podcasts shared with all the interviews you’ve done on mental health. Let’s hear from some experts. Armchair doctors are not helpful to those of us that have any MH issue. Right now the world is a scary place we need people that can reassure and step up to the plate.
We’ve had some very honest accounts of members on these threads talking about their DV experience. They need support, safety, a way forward. We don’t see any of that on the platform.
This person took money from me too a lot of money actually and I also have nothing to show for it. She doesn’t like to be held accountable for her actions.
If you ask us for something and then don’t deliver expect to be asked questions, expect to be under the spotlight. Trying to deflect constantly is just tiresome now. We are not the bad guys, we were let down, disappointed, strung along. We are allowed a voice.

Is this the beautiful singer from The Cocteau Twins ? That Liz Fraser? Doesn't sound like tbh

@Shortbread49
@Oxonmumming
@Pumpkinqueenz

Oh dear, she is seething - proper narc rage! Is it aimed at the person who made the "official and potentially serious complaint" against her?

I also watched the reel again with the sound off and it's visible that she is fizzing and shaking with fury. Her voice is absolutely trembling with rage at times in that video.

The 4 things she advocates:
Identify you mental health;
Get help
Talk about it
Talk to your children

I don't think anyone could argue with the first three, in fact it's probably on page one of any MH self help manual - she hasn't invented the wheel!

But mainly it's a thinly-disguised excuse to bring in point four and then tell us about the "shit idea". She wants to ram her propaganda point down everyone's throats about TALKING TO CHILDREN ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH (which I'm assuming was part of the complaint against her).

I'm all for talking to children and explaining to them, I suppose it depends how that is done. There are aspects of adult struggles that children don't need to know about. They can be introduced to concepts such as mental health/ill health slowly and in age-appropriate ways.

I think she has serious issues with emotional regulation. Liz, people are allowed to have their own opinions. They may even believe that you are not doing what you say you are i.e. using your platform to do good. They are entitled to hold those beliefs. You don't control what people think and feel. You don't help anyone's mental health by instructing people and berating them like naughty children who need to be put straight.

I would be appalled to have you as a parent governor in my child's school because you are aggressive, judgmental and totally inappropriate in your behaviour on social media. Posting naked rear shots and calling people c..ts is not how most people behave and it is certainly not acceptable from someone who is meant to be representing parents on the school governing body.

Yes, yes and yes @Verity44.

To shut her critics down, including us, an interactive Q&A would give her the chance to tell her truth and dismiss all the claims this group has and continues to make. We know why she’s not open to this and so does she.

Do people really think we should talk to our kids about OUR mental health issues? Is that normal advice?
I mean if our health is so poor that we can't do normal things then I guess a general, age appropriate "mummy's not very well right now" message applies to both physical and mental health. But otherwise... I can't imagine sitting my kid down and saying "time for a meeting about my health issues. Hold tight, we've got a lot to get through: today we'll be covering endemetriosis, some weird thing to do with thyroxine that the doctors keep changing their mind about, a fluctuating anxiety condition that means sometimes I want to cry at random times, and some other general post covid stuff. But don't worry! Nothing to worry about. And I know you're only 7 but you will be tested"

@Lentilweaver & @BadSkiingMum I agree that some of the comments on these threads might appear too personal and judgmental.

But I do just want to say that your post @Lentilweaver - "That said, anyone taken in by her is exceedingly gullible" - is exactly what I might have said a while ago. I donated to Liz a while ago (not much, by her standards, a lot by mine). Her book, Coming Clean, affected me very much when I read it - in a way you can only really understand if you've lived through circumstances like that, and then you do feel very sympathetic. And she is a persuasive writer about emotion and panic. I felt moved by her writing, and then when I looked her up, moved by the apparent nature of her struggles as a single mum. I donated more than I (as a single mum) could afford - not for any real hope of getting anything in return, but rather because i thought she was going through a bad patch. I thought she was genuinely making a go of her Substack in difficult circumstances.

If a thread like this had been up I might not have done it - or realised that this is a complete pattern from someone who is actually quite well off. I still can't believe I did it, and tbh your "gullible" comments do hurt. I don't think I was thinking straight at the time - but then it's a really emotional topic, and she must know her audiences are rather vulnerable people. That's why I think it's important a thread should stand on Mumsnet - I don't want to seek redress in any way other than having a record to say - be wary about donating to this woman, especially if you're in a bad place yourself.

@AutumnLeaves55 - I am sorry you were in a bad place and you got taken in.
I have had times in my life when I am very short of time, money and company, things are generally going badly in a very scary way and I've been far too swayed by online influences that feel like lifelines of some sort. People who hold themselves out as supporters and experts have a responsibility.

My post up there was serious though it was in a sarcastic tone: do we actually know that it is good for children to talk to them about our own mental health? I am no expert but I would like to hear from someone who is, on this. I don't mean the general "talk to them about THEIR feelings, be there for THEIR mental health" stuff. I mean what LF is saying: talk to them about OUR mental health. I have never heard anyone say that before.
It doesn't sound right to me. It sounds to me like something someone would say when they are the sort of person who feels like anything they want to do, that feels right to them, must be good, so they get angry when it is challenged.

When is an issue a women's issue, as opposed to being just an issue?
According to LF it's anything that's done only at certain superficial level mainly as a vehicle for constant flirting and reinforcing one's own hyperfemininity.

does that remind anyone of anything?
I'd say LF is not helping women at all with this.

I grew up with a mother with depression although I didn’t realise until
i was an adult , living with her was difficult enough but having her tell me about her mental health would have made it much worse . Once I was a teenager it was like I was the adult and she was the child I left as soon as I could and we have never managed to have a good relationship so no Don’t tell your children they will spend their time worrying about you

Very similar situation Shortread49. It was dreadful!

@AutumnLeaves55 @actuallyhappy none of it adds up, ever! Last week she celebrated 4 years since leaving Venice alone. In one of these picks she celebrates buying the rental house she escaped to, in this celebration photo she’s kissing Mike the perpetrator of all hells. In another post she says she’s left Venice for ever, selling the flat to fund this house. She then posts last week she’s “coming home” to Venice. That her child is Venetian but is mostly Scottish, born in Cambridge, 2nd year of life in Venice, Scandinavia and Oxford where she spent lockdown and now goes to school.

I found that 4 things piece frightening.

Liz is very bold in telling her thigh rubbers that her trolls are female. She’s less bold in directing them to the open forum both she and they can join to put forward their sides of the story. I’m not sure running to men, the patriarchy, who she knows will tell her she’s a warrior and brave and great and stunning is the best feminist approach. Do women still need men to plump them up? Tell them they’re pretty little ladies?

It’s worse still when they tell you and do nothing about it @Shortbread49. She does nothing about it, but plays for sympathy in the public domain. She’s cured. She’s not. Suicidal. She’s not.

Her adult children must live in fear of what’s coming next. I live in fear of what’s coming next from my parents. I’m in my 50s and they’re in their 80s. It’s never ending.

My own issues and challenges are of no interest to them. They offer me no support. It’s likely why I ended up in an abusive relationship. Parents, whatever age, have to act like parents.

As Liz quite rightly says, look after mental health like physical health. We all know Liz went multiple times to hospital for her ribs. Not once has she said she’s been to hospital for her mental health. As an in or out patient. Hospital for proper treatments and care plans like I have, not GPs and therapists.

Her 4 tips were of her standard year 9 work. Stating the bleeding obvious, not planned and straight out of her head without thinking, knowing the twitter ship of fools will give her the 👏🏻she asks them for.

She dislikes the Mumsnet group because of our lived experiences. She knows we know more about helping ourselves and each other than she can ever know because we listen, learn, share, debate and then practice, adapt and keep on going.

There are no magic cures. No best days of our lives. If today is the best day of your life, it can only be downhill here on.

The best advice is to start by taking it moment by moment. Accept some days will be better than others. Tell only people you trust anything that can be used against you.

I learned this the hard way at work - more to follow on this, but not in the spirit of Liz, I will share with you what I’m going through right now to “educate” my employers that talk is not cheap, but neither are solicitors!

I’m pushing for change her, slowly, quietly and privately. Trust me, the company will think twice before it tries to do what it’s fine to me to another. I’m going nowhere until I have the outcome I want, not just for me, but for all people living with a neurological condition.

Now Liz, what are you doing?!

Out of a maximum of 50 comments, 85% of them are men objectifying her. Keep it up, sister! You're truly making a difference for women!

I'm not comfortable with her calling another female poster the 'c' word on her instagram. That's not demonstrating much in the way of supportive sisterhood.

In my world, feminists do not support objectification.

Just watched the latest vlog. My goodness, it's very angry, patronising and imo, unwise to put out on a social media channel.

Her Intimissimi bag with the 'a little something for the weekend' brag in the latest insta post 😂😂. Talk about zero class. Such a try-hard.

Also, I believe we have seen Liz's new trainers before, in a recent insta story with Scout (both of their feet). So I think the "I never buy myself things but look! I just bought myself new trainers" might just have been a pretext (another word for lie) for showcasing her lingerie purchase and therefore letting us all know she'll be having sex at the weekend. Strange that she says she never, ever buys anything for herself and then shows off her lingerie purchase for all to see!

@GinnyWoolf

I have just re-watched it as there was something niggling at the back of my mind.

I agree, it is aggressive, patronising and rude. What I came back to, though, is the remarks she makes in Point 1 - identify your mental health and where you might struggle. So far, so ok (apart from the tone). Where I take issue is that she says "maybe you have "shit-awful eyesight". Highly disrespectful to a person who is blind or with low vision tuning in to hear what she has to say.

As a school governor she has a duty under various pieces of government guidance to promote inclusivity and non-discriminatory behaviour and language. Hmmm 🤔