Manscreaming

[Cuppasoupmonster]

Anyone else sick of this? I’ve never seen a woman do it.

Example 1 - 2 men on our (quiet, residential) street on opposite sides of the road are having a ‘conversation’. Only they’re not, they’re bellowing across the road to each other (with fuck or shit being every other word) for a good 10 minutes. Because it’s much more manly to stay where you are and scream like a nutter than it is to cross the road and talk like a normal person.

Example 2 - on a bus the other day, woman opposite me chatting quietly on her mobile. Bloke behind me picks his up and literally shouts down it - ‘HI KEV YOU ALRIGHT! YEAH IM ON THE BUS! YEAH FUCKING FREEZING ISNT IT! DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SO AND SO? YEAH WHAT A CUNT’ blah blah blah

Could probably come up with a new example every few days!

Just shut up you sad man nobody cares or is impressed with your stupid vocal cords

But people are missing the point. Where are all the accusatory threads asking why black people commit more crime or why Muslims are so homophobic etc? They're nonexistent of course because men are the only group that it's socially acceptable to condemn.

Because black people don't commit more crime and there is no evidence muslims are more homophobic than any other group maybe? So that's just unfounded prejudice.

However a lot of things men-as-a-class do (rape, murder, violence generally, domination public space) are documented and evidenced.

You know it so I don't understand why you are on a feminist board trying to pretend we are bigoted and ignorant. You just make yourself look bad.

I’m 5’10, taller than the average man, with 34 inch legs. Why don’t I feel the need to ‘spread’ them on buses? Why am I capable of sitting perfectly comfortably without splaying onto other seats, but men shorter than me are not?

Because biology dearie. We have our genitals neatly tucked away. Men have balls and tackle that take up space between their legs.

So my reading of this thread is:
Posters says they are fed up of men shouting and swearing loudly in routine conversation in public spaces
Offended posters:
Deny - men don't shout in public women do it too

Attack - feminists are prejudiced bigot

Reverse victim and offender - men who shout are deaf and you are showing how much you hate men by not being sympathetic

It's woefully transparent

One of the great things about mumsnet is learning to spot and name these manipulative arguments.

Because biology dearie. We have our genitals neatly tucked away. Men have balls and tackle that take up space between their legs

That's it ladies! The reason men need to spread out into our personal spaces is because they have a couple of inches hanging between their legs so need ALL THE ROOM FOR THE MIGHTY PENIS!

Many men go through life without needing to manspread and get in women's personal space though. Do they not have male genitals? 🤔

So they can’t sit with their legs straight? 😂

Whatever next? They’re forced to fiddle with their penis in public for the same reason?

Very good!
Can I add using patronising endearments - hinny, dearie for example?
And isn't accusing women (whilst having a mild conversation about the small ways that the patriarchy affects their every day lives) of 'peddling sexist twaddle' just a wee bit misogynistic...

Who knew there was such a serious epidemic of deaf men. Poor dears.
In my street it’s men and women who do it. I’ve got a woman over the road who laughs like a seagull. Chain smoker too so it’s guttural and I can hear it through closed double glazed windows. Makes me want to put my own eyes out.
No one in the road seems to have the brain capacity to think I should move closer to the object of my conversation. No I will just increase the volume by a few decibels that should help. Even woman having chats on the doorstep with perhaps two feet in between them tops? Yell at each other.

Our theory which is about as scientifically sound as the deaf argument is that because they all come from London, they all have some sort of complex. They’re all loud, competitive, sweary, fuck this fuck that cretins. They have this urge to make themselves seen and heard. They all seem to think everyone wants to hear every minute part of their conversation, like they’re so interesting that everyone hangs on their every word. I also live in a seaside town that is UKIP central so lots of gammony behaviour from
both sexes. It gets very very tiresome.
Who knew they’re all deaf though 🤔

Disclaimer - not everyone from London will exhibit this behaviour and the opinions held within this post are my own and no one else’s. Before I’m attacked 😂

Some mens penises are so huge it's almost disabling and unfair to expect them to have to sit in a way that's uncomfortable.

We should pretend we haven't noticed their disability, poor lambs

Maybe public transport needs dedicated seats with extra spread room for these men

many men go through life without needing to manspread and get in women's personal space though. Do they not have male genitals? 🤔

Tut tut.
Wrong board for this comment.

oh this is depressing really. You can’t apply DARVO to this. It’s not meant for discussions based on observation and facts. You are misusing DARVO to silence debate, especially any view that isn’t in accord with the OP.

I'm feeling a bit paranoid now.
I am hearing impaired and from the south. Maybe I am like this and just HAVEN'T NOTICED.

Couple of inches? Poor you if you think that’s how much space a normal sized penis and two balls take up. We aren’t talking about men with undescended testicles and micro-penii.

This thread doesn't seem in any danger of being silenced. 😂

Couple of inches? Poor you if you think that’s how much space a normal sized penis and two balls take up. We aren’t talking about men with undescended testicles and micro-penii.

Based on this all the men who go through life not manspreading into women's personal spaces have undescended testicles and micro-penii?

I don’t blame you, there is a lot of ableist ignoring of this common invisible disability that affects 1 in 8 women of working age and 1 in 4 men of working age and frequently causes those suffering from hearing loss to be louder than they realise. Many living with it do not even know they have hearing loss- men are half as likely as women to realise they having hearing loss and seek treatment.

This blog had some good tips on how friends and family can signal you when this happens:

livingwithhearingloss.com/2016/12/13/am-i-speaking-at-the-right-volume/

Well, that’s what you’re arguing isn’t it? The men you know have a “couple of inches” between their legs and also happen to get through life without manspreading…that’s essentially what you said.

Of course you can! They’re terms of maternal affection.
Well, I think it is sexist twaddle. Patriarchy is not the most likely cause of the specific “male pattern behaviour” under discussion.

In all seriousness, I am actually very familiar with hearing loss. But I can still joke about it.
It has affected me all my life, affected my speech, affected my education, had an impact on my ability to socialise in noisy places. My hearing loss cannot be corrected with surgery or aids.
I have several profoundly deaf friends and my DH has age related hearing loss. My MIL is very deaf.
It's also a major risk factor for dementia.
Anecdotally, none of the people I know with this - as you correctly point out - fairly hidden disability, are loud when speaking.
But somehow, I would be a little bit surprised if all the men (and some women) who habitually use inappropriately loud voices in public are doing so through hearing loss. In fact I would put money on other factors driving it.

Well, that’s what you’re arguing isn’t it?
The men you know have a “couple of inches” between their legs and also happen to get through life without manspreading…that’s essentially what you said.
A lot of men get through life without manspreading and getting into women's personal space.

You seem to think manspreading behaviour is totally justifiable because men are in possession of male genitals so they need all the extra space.

So either all the men who don't show zero regard for women's personal space have undescended testicles and a tiny penis, or your argument that men have to spread into women's personal space because they have male genitals is nonsense.

I class it the same as manspreading.
Wannabe alphas occupying more space than they need. In this case it's aural space.

I have hearing loss. I don't bellow like a wounded buffalo. It is far, far more likely that the speakers are just being very loud for the sake of it. No ableism involved.

DARVO is a manipulative technique often associated with abuse.

However it can be used in any context to try to "win" an argument by manipulation

Also worth noting i didn't bring it up. Another poster accused feminists of using it so I posted a factual response

You seem to think manspreading behaviour is totally justifiable because men are in possession of male genitals so they need all the extra space.

I think some of it can be justifiable. I think every human is going to sit in way that is most comfortable for their physiology. Because men and women are different, men do actually need more space to be comfortable.

Most examples I have seen of ‘manspreading’ is merely a man sitting comfortably. A minority of examples of ‘manspreading’ I have seen are a man taking the piss and taking up more space than they could logically need.

I think some of it can be justifiable. I think every human is going to sit in way that is most comfortable for their physiology. Because men and women are different, men do actually need more space to be comfortable
A lot of things are already designed around the male body. I doubt you're genuinely interested but there's a lot of interesting reading on it eg. Crash test dummies.

Someone sitting on a seat in a way that is comfortable does not require them to get in the space of the human next to them.

Getting in the space of the human next to you is a choice.

Men do not need to get into women's personal space to be comfortable, as shown by the fact plenty of men don't do it.

I also highly doubt the men who manspread into women's personal spaces because they have a penis and need all the extra manly room would do it if the person sitting next to them was a man who was likely to tell them where to go.