Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

Hi all! How are we all today?

Another medication free night for me! Yay! I am finding I am not as sleepy in the evenings too, so I guess the mirtazapine was still doing something. My restless legs seem better though.

Woke up at 5:55am, wide awake which was annoying. DH was making his dripping tap noise . Thankfully DD got up shortly after so I had an excuse to get up.

Hope you are all ok xxx

GetDown that's another yeah!!!!

DH and I were woken at sometime in the middle of the night by DS1 (I don't look at the clock at all in the night now) and took us both ages to get back to sleep again but otherwise a good night xxx

Yeah!

That's great GetDown !
Not too bad today. I slept right through from 11 til 4.45 which is good for me by current standards but then couldn't really get back to sleep though so got up, had snack, tried going back to bed and finally dozed for half an hour or so before getting up with DD at 7.
Need to get back into my swimming - has been disrupted by the bank holiday weekend.
Am hoping I'll be better when I'm tired out by work and cycling to and from work, but on the other hand there will be the stress of work too!
Trying to be positive but am at that point of being fed up with this again and bored of lying awake in the night. .

Arcadia when do you go back to work? The stresses of work might actually help, gives you something else to think about.

End of October. DD starts settling into nursery sooner though.
Work used to really exhaust me but I felt like I'd 'done' something. I think I don't get mentally tired enough just looking after DD.
Am obviously worried though that it will actually be worse as I'll be worrying about being tired for work. I'm guessing it may be hard to begin with and it will take a while to settle down, but hopefully it will be a good distraction in the long run.

Sorry. Feel like I killed the conversation earlier with my negativity!

Had a nice day in the end. DP took DD to the children's centre as he had a day off today and I had an hour and a half nap at lunchtime !

Lovely and sunny here today. DD and I went into town to meet a friend this afternoon and when I got her home I accidentally gave her some humous with chilli in , poor little thing! Is that child abuse?! She was upset but drank loads of water and had yoghurt and was in a great mood afterwards (maybe the endorphins kicked in!).

Am going swimming later, should help me snooze .

Awww your poor DD! So sweet!!! Glad you've had a lovely day, and a lunch-time nap. I think it's great that you can nap in the daytime. I'm too scared to try because after Christmas DH took everyone out one afternoon so I could nap (I think I'd started taking fluoxitine by then so perhaps I shouldn't read too much into it) and I lay down to sleep and started to panic big time when I didn't drift off - ended up ringing him in a panic and taking a diazepam to calm down! By the time they got back from town I was feeling lovely and dreamy (diazepam is wonderful stuff!!! That's why I hate it so much!!!).

We've had a good day today too - spent most of the day at a friend's house but DS3 has had terrible naps so he's Mr Grumpy Pants now! Come home DH!!!!

Hope you enjoy your swim arcadia had to smile about the chilli humous! I did something similar to DD when she was younger - gave her mcain spicy potato wedges and the poor little thing, she didn't know what hit her! I didn't think they'd be all that spicy

You didn't kill the conversation earlier, I was at work and had lots of boring meetings so didn't get a chance to post/

I actually felt my mood really take a dip today But I forced myself out for my run this evening, and I feel bright and cheery again! It's like magic

Did you decide on your tiles in the end becky? I actually really love looking at tiles. I spent ages choosing our bathroom ones. Eventually opted for really expensive Laura Ashley ones, but am really glad because it's so nice to look at tiles you really like in the bathroom.

Seeing you mention diazepam becky had made me really really want one That's really bad isn't it. I just would like to relax tonight and have a really good sleep. There's some in the cupboard, but shouldn't really take one as things are not bad at the moment. I am just getting really really wound up by DH's clikcing at the moment. The moment I hear it I am boiling with rage and can't get back off to sleep Silly really as it's such a tiny noise, not anywhere near as noisy as snoring. I think it's just the rhythmical-ness of it, sooo irritating!!!

GetDown we picked some black and white square tiles for the floor, white tiles for the walls and a small blue border of tiles. The walls above the wall tiles will be light blue, the bath is a roll top bath and we're goign to paint the outside dark blue. Hoping it'll look really nice :) At the moment that bathroom is pink, green, blue and purple and has the skankiest pink wee-smelling carpet you could imagine. It is rank.

Good that you perked your mood up with a run. That's what exercise does. Being low is normal. Everyone has good and bad days. Some days (whether I've slept well or not) I am a total grump and fed up and bored. Other days I feel on top of the world and in love with life.

Diazepam is evil!!! How about a glass of wine instead? I feel like a gin and tonic actually but on a Tuesday night that'd be bad!

I've actually been having a glass of wine more evenings than not lately Think I need to have an evening where I don't have any!

Diazepam is tempting, but I will be strong!

PST: I'm sure I will sleep tonight as I've had a run and am extra tired.

Your bathroom plans sound really nice. You will have to post a pic when it's done!

Our bathroom is pale beige mock marble up to the border tiles, which are a kind of whethered natural stone, and then above the border is just plain white. It's simple, but I really really like it!

Our downstairs loo is white with turquoise border tiles and I found a turquoise towel which goes really nicely. We've done every room in our house now (5 years it took!!) The only thing we haven't done is the front garden. It's just an amalgous mass of shrubs, which I have a binge attack at every now and again. Round here we call it "gardening"

Good morning all! I slept well again last night. I am a lost cause because I'm either completely fine or completely messed up. Can someone please figure me out???

GetDown your bathroom sounds lovely, and your downstairs loo (wish we had one of those here!). I like simple too and I also like colour. When we found this house we live in now I fell in love with it because it has a reddy-pink sittingroom (sounds a bit ahhhh but it is lovely), a green diningroom with a lovely wood burning stove and quarry tiles and all the bedrooms are a different colour too (poor Toby is in the pink / purple room!). DH would rather go magolia I think (or at least off-white shades). He is a minimalist. Also, his dream house would be a new build with straight walls whereas mine is a wobbly cottage! We've met in the middle with a late-Victorian semi-detatched house. We're slowly doing this house up a bit - the garden needs severe attention. But already I'm getting itchy feet (I keep sending DH details of houses by the sea in Wales - not that we can move there as he works in Birmingham).

Hope everyone has slept ok.

Madmouse it looks as if you had a great time on your camping trip and, what's more, your DH is back today! How do you feel your week went given how worried you were about it?

Hello every one. I went to see a nutritionist yesterday, I was discussing my ongoing problem with depression/insomnia/low energy etc.
She did mention the importance of Magnesium in the diet to promote relaxation. Also advised me to give up my 1/2 glass of wine a night habbit. She also is encouraging me to give up/ cut out my one a day coffee habbit.
She is going to write me a full report and go through all my supplements and make sure I am on the best ones for my conditions.
She was great and seemed to take my issues so seriously.
She was also a great fan of SJW.
Well I will let you know what her report says and how I get on with any changes that I make.

Topsi that sounds really positive. I drink decaf coffee - would you consider that? I don't even notice the lack of caffine now. I must admit I'd find giving up wine a toughie. I do sleep better the night's I don't have any wine (and I only ever have one glass) but I love to have a special treat of a glass of wine after a stressful day. I take vit B with Magnesium tablets. I am sure they help.

Mmmmm.... diazepam....

I had a pretty good night really as DD woke us up, still with a blocked up nose, around 3am and I found myself getting stressed out thinking 'that's it, I can't get back to sleep now' and felt the adrenaline coursing into my system but I thought No, I'm going to be positive! So I spent ages relaxing and thinking relaxing thoughts and it took quite a while but I told myself that relaxation is good for you anyway and it didn't matter if it took a while and I was asleep then til the morning ! The swimming definitely helps, it was easier to relax, I may start trying to go three times a week !

DP and I getting on a little better as I pampered him a bit over the weekend as he wasn't feeling great but he spoilt it a bit by snapping at me for putting a pan in the sink this morning .

Becky you are quite different to me really as you have very good and very bad nights. I don't have any nights when I sleep right through without 'incident' but I rarely have nights where I hardly sleep at all. I'm wondering if after quite a few good nights you are simply not as tired so don't sleep as well then get anxious too, I think that happens to me.

Topsi interesting to hear what the nutritionist says. It is very nice to see someone who will look at the whole picture and also how you can help yourself (rather than the therapies where they 'do something' to you that you have to keep paying for!). I was thinking of seeing one recently actually but the one I saw before, many years ago, no longer practices where I live.

GetDown and becky your houses sound lovely. I have been in mine 6 years and done nothing other than decorate the living room. I still have a sixties style avocado suite in the bathroom! On the plus side we have nice original wooden floors, some of them painted.

Have a good day everyone

Arcadia you sound much more positive today - yeah! Me too. I am pleased you slept better and it just goes to show that just 'giving in' to the prospect of being awake actually, ironically, sends you to sleep because you're letting go of the worry about it. That happens to me too sometimes. I think I'm in a bit more of a 'letting go' phase now. I say to myself 'well I survived last weekend despite being tired, and actually had good days, so what if I don't sleep well?'

I do like to hear about everyone's houses. I love wooden floors. In our house in Oxfordshire we had a gorgeous oak floor in the diningroom and I loved it. This house has more carpets. I do like our quarry tiles though and in the hallway we have really nice original tiles.

Hi ladies.

Nice to hear that there are some good nights at the moment. You sound like you are making some very positive steps too topsi. Well done.
It?s great to find a professional that takes you seriously. I don?t think insomnia is a particularly high priority for GPs as it doesn?t actually threaten your life (but as we all know it can make your life pretty miserable).

Not a fantastic night for me I thought I would sleep really well after my run, but still took me ages to fall asleep. I think I was still awake well after midnight. Yet again I woke up at 5am. Today I did manage to doze a bit at least, I think I maybe got another hour before I finally got up. I am noticing I am not as sleepy in the evenings, now that I?m off the mirtazapine. Maybe it will just take a bit longer for my body to readjust to falling asleep naturally.

We are going to Cornwall at the end of the month for a family birthday thing. We are having to cut it short because DD is starting pre-school. So basically a long weekend. A long way to drive for just a weekend. I am really dreading it, because I have not very good family holiday memories (dad getting angry and mum getting upset). They will both be there along with my brother and all my cousins. My dad has been very rude to my cousins in the past and I am dreading the tension. DH says I should try and look forward to it and see it as a positive, I know he?s right but he hasn?t seen my dad?s horrible side yet and I don?t think he really believes it?s there. I have already kind of decided in my mind that I won?t be able to sleep (I know, I know?) so am going to pack the zopiclone, which I know sounds pathetic

Still, I don?t feel too bad today. Am reminding myself that I probably need less sleep than I think. I can function perfectly well on 5-6hrs sleep.

Well down GetDown you did sleep and you're doing really well! We need to keep reminding ourselves that 'normal' people can sleep badly too. It's definitely also a getting older thing - to wake in the night more. I remember that feeling as a child to close my eyes and open them thinking a second had passed and it was morning! That hasn't happened for years!

I can completely understand about your family holiday. I think that they can be really stressful. Hopefully if you are expecting it to be hard then it may surprise you and turn out to be fine. Try not to feel responsible for the behaviour of others (i.e. your dad!). Could you try and plan some family time for you three to go off and do something on your own if it gets stressful? I know it's only a weekend but you should have some time out.

I am ravenously hungry at the moment and eating everything in sight!

Hi everyone

Sorry you didn't have that good a night GetDown. I usually find that I sleep well after runs but it does depend when I go. If I go too late in the evening it often affects my sleep and I end up going to sleep later as I'm full of adrenaline!

I'm also going away to Devon next week so can really sympathise regarding sleep and family tensions. We're going down as it's my FIL's 90th. I get on fine with my inlaws but it's the whole stress of packing and sleeping in a strange place that messes me up. I'm also planning to see my family too as they live about an hour away from my inlaws but DH won't be coming as they don't like him for some reason which makes things very difficult. I feel I should try and see them as they haven't seen my dds for a long time and I end up feeling guilty but resent the way they make things difficult between DH and me. I shall probably be taking my small supply of Zopiclone too, so no I don't think you're pathetic at all.

Topsi it's very interesting reading about what your nutritionalist said. I've heard about magnesium before so may well give it a try. I'm also very sensitive to coffee and have to be careful not to have one too often.

Better go now as the dds are needing my attention. Hope everyone has a nice day today.

Sorry Arcadia we crossed posts. Hope your dd gets better soon and your nights improve.

GetDown sorry you didn't sleep well. It's just an off-night and as you say it might be just your body adjusting to the complete lack of mirtazapine. You are sleeping sooooo well you're allowed the odd one-off. You are soooo good at coping though and rationalising it. You'll sleep better tonight :) I used to worry about not sleeping well when I'm tired but I always, always do! I'm always here the next day saying 'I slept better last night'.

How would you feel about leaving the zopiclone at home when you go away?? Or is that too scary to think about?

You're all so encouraging! Thank you!

arcadia you're absolutely right, of course everyone else has bad nights occasionally. It's totally normal. I wish I could just accept that without panicking that I am going downhill again! Thanks re. the holiday. Hopefully we will get some time away just the 3 of us as you say. Ravenously hungry you say? you're not pregnant are you?

Thanks orangeflutie - so you run too? I just bought some gear today from the sports shop - to try and kid myself that I look like a "real" runner (ha, I wish!) a sporty Addidas top and some legging type things. Also a nifty arm wallet thing that straps to your arm and you can put your keys / phone in it. Think I ought to really take my phone when I'm running alone... You're right, it's bad to go too late into the evening, I find I have to completely cool down before I can be ready for bed time. They say at least 3 hours. I ran at 7pm so maybe it was a bit too late? It's hard because I can only go once DH gets back from work, if he's late that's tough on me! I hope your holiday to Devon goes ok, and there aren't difficult family tensions.

hi becky thanks for the encouragement! I wouldn't say I am sooooo good at coping!! I'm not really a good coper at all! But I do feel I have come a long way from those awful times of going the whole night without sleeping. I never want to go back there..

Leaving the zopiclone at home???!! Are you mad??! I don't think I could contemplate leaving the zopiclone at home, sad to say. I will only take one if the first day is really stressful and I have that anxiety come on which makes me feel I will not be able to sleep. I know when (if) I get pregnant I will not be able to reach for the zopiclone, but while I'm not pregnant, I'm going to make the most of it!!!

Hope you are all having good days x

GetDown yes I've been running for about five years now. I used to go to the gym and use the treadmill when my dds were smaller as I could use the creche, (youngest is now 6), but once I started running outside I found the treadmill really boring. I love running but do struggle to fit it in. It's been easier in the school holidays because I've been able to go out early some mornings. It definitely makes me feel better but I have to be careful not to overdo it. I sprained my left ankle a couple of years ago which meant I had to pull out of the London Marathon. I was so fed up but at the moment it feels good. I've also found out lately I go better with my ipod strapped to my arm:)

Re the Zopiclone I would say take it with you just in case and then you probably won't need it but it's nice to have it. I'm going to do the same. I'm also taking some promethazine with me as an alternative. Tomorrow night I'm going down to 25mg Dosulepin aswell so this is concerning me a bit. Must try not to worry.

getdown I am most definitely not pregnant! You have babies on the brain! .

I can't do jogging - an osteopath once told me I had a 'delicate frame' or something (not as in slim, unfortunately!) and jogging would not be good for me. That's my excuse anyway and I'm sticking to it!

orangeflutie sorry if you've already said but what's the story with your insomnia? How long have you been on the dosulepin? Have you found it OK? I'm still wavering over going back to my GP or changing GP to try to get one of the sedating ADs even though I am not remotely depressed and have no other symptoms of depression (other than anxiety and I've always been anxious and neurotic - it's part of my personality!) . It may be like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, if you know what I mean.

Arcadia that's the same as me. I'm not depressed at all and I've always been 'highly strung' as my mum would call it - just more so recently (or more so after every baby I have). I've always been anxious and neurotic to some degree! There's no hope for us, perhaps? My GP asked me: 'Have you always been a worrier?' Errr, yes! Luckily my DH is Mr Chilled so we balance each other out.

DS1 has a friend staying over tonight. They are talking about bottoms. Boys!!!!!

arcadia - sorry .. I was starving when I first got pregnant! I like "delicate frame" that's a fantastic excuse! It's good you do swimming though.

Oh wow orangeflutie you do the marathon??? You are much more of a serious runner than me! My brother is the runner in our family. He did the london marathon in 2hours 42 minutes two years ago.

arcadia and becky they do prescribe ADs for insomnia sometimes, you don't actually have to have depression e.g. this from Wikipedia:
"Mirtazapine's primary use is the treatment of major depressive disorder. Mirtazapine has been found to be useful in the treatment of generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, seasonal affective disorder, insomnia, nausea and vomiting,diminished appetite and associated weight loss,, and itching as well, and it may be prescribed off-label for these conditions."

Had to smile about "bottoms" sadly it's not just boys that are into toilet humour