Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

Becky glad you slept well, but then we all knew you would x

Had a bad night - was late by the time I got to sleep as dh decided to pack at 11pm and needed xyz plus I had seen the weather forecast for where he was going and it was not suitable for a 12 mile bike ride with a week's worth of luggage, so change in station and journey etc. And anxiety bothered me so I was restless and woke a lot, then woke early.

Oh well took ds to nursery, hugged dh goodbye at the station, did a morning's work, raced back to nursery and now home with ds, off to see a friend.

Madmouse sorry you had a bad night. Hopefully you will sleep tonight because you are tired.

PST for me: I will sleep well tonight because we have a new bed!!!!

Hope you are ok madmouse now that DH is away. The week will go very fast I'm sure, what have you got planned?

How is your new bed becky? Have you been testing it out? Is it one of those memory foam matresses? They had one of those at our holiday cottage in Norfolk and it was lovely, was seriously tempted to get one.

Not a great night for me last night, I went out with friends for a drink, got in at 11pm but stupidly instead of winding down I went straight to bed thinking "must go to sleep straight away as I've got work in the morning" - of course I was then lying awake for ages. Then DH woke me up at about 4am with his annoying "clicking" noise that he does My blood was boiling! Had to rummage around in my bedside drawer for my ear plugs, in the process waking him up! Whoops! Then DD was up at 6am.

But - I am not sad, or anxious! Hurrah! I don't feel too bad at all.

Yeah GetDown so pleased you are coping well after a bad night - the best way to be for sure. I actually had a nice day yesterday despite being tired and even enjoyed watching the Big Brother final before I finally gave in at about 10pm.

I've just bought some patent leather green Dr Marten boots from TKMaxx for £22. A total steal!!! DS1 and DS2 think they are fantastic. I hope I wear them enough though - they are, ermmm, very green.

PS What clicking noise? I'm intrigued. My DH sometimes rubs his eyes vigorously in his sleep and I have to prod him to get him to stop.

your boots sound pretty cool!

Oh the clicking noise

I don't know how he does it, it's some kind of noise he makes from the back of his throat. Think dripping tap

It's because he always seems to breathe through his mouth when he's asleep. I've told him to "for goodness sake breathe through your nose like normal people" but he maintains he can't help it

Tell me more about your new bed, I am again.

It is lovely. It was a real special treat from Feather and Black - it was in the sale but still... It's pine wood with drawers under and bedside tables to match but those not ready yet. Can't wait to go to bed now. DS2 has already been in it (he's a bit poorly - got a cough / tired bug).

So how was your bed becky? Great night sleep?

Lovely night's sleep :) No back ache at all this morning - like sleeping in a hotel.

Madmouse how are you today?

Morning all - well that's the first night done with. Slept 1-4.30 and then again on and off from 5.30 to 8.30.

As soon as I was at work after waving off dh I started to get some flashbacks to being all alone as a child but work was busy and distracted me. Today I'm feeling a bit anxiou for no particular reason. I'm going swimming with ds and a friend and her two dds later so that should be good.

Getdown I do that clicking sound when I lie on my back and my nose is blocked (which it often is) - what has dh tried to do about it? I find olbas oil on my pillow really works as it keeps my nose unblocked.

Oh Becky yay for the good night in your posh hotel bed

Glad you got some sleep in the end madmouse even if it was a bit broken. It's good you have arranged some things and are meeting up with people whilst DH is away. Is he calling you every night?

Thanks re. the clicking noise. Yes I do believe it is when DH breathes through his mouth rather than his nose in his sleep. It's so irritating though - not a particularly loud noise, but rhythmically annoying, like a dripping tap. I don't think olbas oil would do anything for him TBH. The only cure is a sharp jab in the ribs!!

Wow becky great you had a good night in your new bed Wouldn't it be amazing if this was the end of your insomnia? It could be you know.

GetDown that would be my dream come true. Oh pleeeeeaaase!!!!!

MadMouse well done for surviving the first night alone.

Well tell yourself that then! Remember we need to be visualising what we want, rather than dwelling on what we don't want!!

MadMouse - just wanted to say hope rest of your week goes ok x

Hi guys, I've had the worst night for months - hardly any sleep at all - just dozing and the best sleep at 7am-7.15am. What can I say? New bed? It's let me down already!!!!!

It all started ok, I was just nodding off when DH came to bed, then again nodding off when DS3 started to cry. Nodding off again when DS1 had a coughing fit and after that (this was midnight) the rest of the night was just a pile of pants. I'm laughing about it because it was just so awful it was funny!!!!

What should I do guys? Carry on, keep my chin up, keep going? Go back to the GP - the anxiety about getting enough sleep is always there. I know we've been here before many times... But not for a few months admittedly. I've been doing so well but last night was on a par with nights in Jan and Feb. It was shite squared.

Strangely i don't feel too bad. Paul McKenna didn't work but perhaps I slept more than I thought at some point between the hours I checked the clock (bad girl, bad girl!). Hearing the milkman at 4am had me in tears. Hearing DH's phone go off at 4.45am when one of his colleagues was having a crisis was the icing on the cake!

Oh well. The sun is shining. The DSs are lovely. At least DH is home today (working from home).

PS Normally I love the bare naked ladies but last night they just wouldn't shut up out of my head! Grrrrr. Then when I got rid of them Lenka started singing 'The Show'.

Oh becky !

You poor thing! It sounds like you had a lot of disturbances so not exactly your "fault" (not that a bad night is ever your fault but you know what I mean) -

DH coming to bed
DS3 crying
DS1 coughing fit
Milkman
DH's phone

It's SO good that you sound quite chipper! Honestly that is the best way.

Don't be too ambitious today, just have a quiet day (as much as you can with 3 boys) - can you make some popcorn in the microwave and sit them down with a film? You could draw the curtains and make it like the cinema

What do YOU want to do? We have discussed this many times, but I get the feeling you will never take ADs! What are your options? When do you see lavendar woman again?

GetDown I have some work to do today but keeping busy might be the way to go for me. If I am allowed to sit and dwell I get myself in a bit of a state.

Ironically I am seeing Lavender woman today. Perhaps that was playing on my mind a bit. Also, I stupidly started remembering yesterday a time when I had a couple of small bowts of insomnia during my finals at unversity where I didn't sleep at all all night for a few days on and off - it was horrendous. I think I frightened myself and that set me off last night! Stupid.

Thing is, this insomnia is my fault. It's all in my head. It's not a physical illness, it is competely psychological and my rational brain can see it as really silly and I am letting everyone down by continually being like this. It doesn't get better.

I don't know what I want to do. I want someone to make it better for me because I am failing at making it better myself but I know that isn't going to happen.

Poor you Becky . I had a terrible night too because of DD. She seems to have a cold AGAIN and was crying out literally every ten minutes or so through the night I think. She had a blocked up nose even though we now have a plug in karvol thing, don't know what else to do. I went in to 'sleep' with her to make sure that DP got some sleep before work. At least he did. I've no idea how much sleep I got but had no problem drifting off myself - just constantly being woken up was like torture. I feel really angry with DD this morning which is so horrible of me. I'm just really emotional about sleep. I bet she'll sleep all day now but I have things happening so can't really rest myself. .

It isn't your fault. You more than anyone in your family or friends want ride of this.

Just because it's origin is psychological, doesn't mean the effects or the suffering are any less real. Or it's any easier to recover from.

I know it myself. As much as I desperately wanted to be better, I couldn't pull myself out of it - I needed help.

Would you consider a small dose of mirtazapine? You could set yourself a time limit e.g. 2 weeks and if it's not helping you could just stop.

**rid

poor you as well arcadia

Arcadia it's crap, isn't it? Don't be hard on yourself for being angry. You're tired. I know how you feel. I just feel tearful today - I feel so emotional - I can't stop crying at silly little things.

GetDown I feel totally fine when I'm not tired. I am happy with my life. It's as if my psychie (sp?) has fixated on this one thing and won't let go - the grip is soooo strong. My subconcious needs constant telling 'you will sleep tonight' and if I relax a bit the fixated / anxious part of my brain takes over. It's very, very frustrating. I used to sleep so well and even had problems keeping my eyes open at night! DH was constantly coming into the bedroom and taking my book from between my fingers and turning the light off after I'd gone to bed. I want those days back. I'd give anything, anything to be like that again. I used to fall asleep in the car too (not while driving!) and given half the chance I'd grab a nap after lunch.

Hi everyone I hope you don't mind me joining you today. It's really to say I had an awful night last night too. I got to sleep initially I think about 11.00 and was then awake for two hours between 1.30 and 3.30. I went downstairs for a bit and then our cat sat on me. I then went back up and took a promethazine and slept eventually until 6.00 when DH got up to have a shower. DH went out and then I eventually dozed on and off til 8.30.

Anyway I then thought I'd better get up as DDs were up and downstairs. I now feel a bit spaced out and generally foggy. At the moment the DDs are watching TV, but I know we've got to go out soon and go shopping and it's raining again:(

Incidentally I don't know whether my bad night is due to PMS as it used to affect my sleep before I took ADs, or whether it's a full moon at the moment, or whether it's a sign of things to come. I hope not!