The Anxiety Club- part 3!

[blissa]

Couldn't think of a more imaginative title!

Hi girls

I posted a reply on the other thread and now it's too big to reply to, so here we are a nice sparkly new thread!

xx

thank you all so much ..you are all so kind , iv been a real pain ...

i am not doing so well at mo .....

trying to hold it together but finding it hard ...

its the good and bad devil again im afraid ....niggling on my shoulder ..

i know i cant do anything till the scan , its the control thing again i guess im out of control needing reasurance again ..

thanks for being there ..

awww choclab you will be fine - we all know how you feel. Just give yourself a big hug (or get dp or dcs to instead!)

I liked the claire weekes book too - but didnt like the bit where she said you should 'float' as my lightheadedness and depersonalization feels like that anyway and I hate it, so i try to push my feet down really hard on the floor. i know this sounds a bit hippyish, but i also did some reading about aromatherapy and crystal healing. i now carry a smoky quartz crystal in my pocket when i go out as it is supposed to be grounding so if i have a panicky moment i rub it and do my abdominal breathing and it really helps.

Really piggy? I will try anything so where can i get a smoky quartz crystal??

I do a similar thing to feel "there" like you push down with your feet, i tend to stratch my hands..not good really as they can be really sore after a bad day. Seem to do it without thinking though most of the time. I just scratch as hard as i can so that i feel the pain and feel "real" if you know what i mean..? Depersonalization is hideous.

Choc you are not a pain at all you silly thing This thread is here for us to vent isn't it? Hope you are ok, can you talk this through with DH? I find that really helps me. Big hugs x

no not at moment , DH has lots on at work and is stressed enough right now so i dont want to add to it ..

thats why it is good to come here and talk ..

thanks for the hug x

Sounds like you had a great few days in London. Whereabouts did you stay? at seeing Grease! I am planning to see Dirty Dancing in a couple of months with some friends. Wisdom teeth are buggers!

Pelvic. No one would be better off with out you, least of all your dcs and dp. How are you feeling now?

Choclab, we're always here to listen. Everything will be ok, I know you are scared and it's hard. What are your plans for tomorrow? Are you doing anything nice?

Well keep on posting then if it helps, i have to go to bed now, banging headache all of a sudden But will be around tomorrow if i survive this party ive got to take DD to

Hi blissa, hope you are well tonight

Hi NEMT, I'm ok thanks, very tired so off to bed myself soon. Hope your head eases soon

Thanks Goodnight ladies!

night NEMT ,

thanks everyone for listening to me hope you all sleep well xx

Pelvic - hope your feeling bit better [hug]

Morning ladies,

Eeeeekk 2 and a half hours til im at the party. Deep breaths deep breaths...

I cant believe that despite being a bit nervous incase i panic, im actually quite looking forward to it! This is major progress for me Im trying not to ruin it by worrying about panicking....trying

Have a nice day ladies whatever you are doing. Im missing my dad today He died a year and half ago. Got to put it out of my head until i get back from this party!

Take care everyone

Pelvic - How are you feeling this morning? Hopefully a good nights sleep will have made you feel a lot better.

Neverenough - I am sorry to hear about your dad. Fathers day and Mothers day make losing a loved one even more poignant. Have a great time at the party! Focus on enjoying rather than worrying on having a panic attack. The mind can play funny things on us as we all know!!!

Choclab - How are you this morning?

Lovely day in Ireland so going to head out soon.

Hey ladies,
Meant to add last night neverenough - i got told to put an elastic band or hair bobble on my wrist and flick it as a distraction when i'm feeling anxious. i've never really tried it but it might make a better alternative to scratching yourself red raw!! Hope you're feeling ok about your dad.
Off to work for me this afternoon. Feeling fab after a ten-hour sleep last night
xxx

NET , How was your day , well done for geting through the party , hope you enjoyed it to .
So sorry about your Dad ..hard day for you sending you a {{{{hug}}}}}} i dont know how you feel, but am thinking of you xx

Kildare- hope you had a nice day in the lovely weather , cold where i am ..

Piggy-hope work was ok ..

Pelvic -hope your bit better today ..

hello to everyone els..

Given myself a slap round face a bit today , just got to wait and see so cant do anymore than im doing ..so i will TRY really hard not to rant on to you all ,im sorry if iv gone on and your prob feed up by now of me ...but thank you for being here for me ..

went to my DS football presintation day , thought was going to be a problem , but was ok and best of all he got a trophie for trying really hard and listening to instructions and always trying his best , and always turning up for practice and matches ..(was one trophie but coach said those kind words about him ..
all the lads got a little medal , but he got this , i was so proud of him bought a tear to my eye ...
so that was really good .

lets hope for a better week ..x

Hi ladies!

Choc-you are sounding very positive today Im glad you are feeling a little better! Well done to your DS!!! Lovely! Thanks for the hug, its been hard today i have no idea how you accept that you are never going to see a loved one ever again...i dont know

piggy- hope work was ok!

Pelvic how are you today?

Where is armadillo? Hope you are ok too!

And everyone else, hope you have doing ok too!

I have had the best day!!!!! No wobbles at all at the party! Everything was stacked against me though, so much happened it was a nightmare! First we were running late, then DH got mad about the state of the car and started clearing all the stuff out of it when there was only 20 minutes until the party started (we live 30 mins away from the place!!) Then he announced we needed petrol before we set off so had to dash there, then i realised we had forgotten the present! SO had to go back home and then we took a wrong turn and got a bit lost!! Are you still with me?! We got there a little bit late and as DD and I were walking towards the door my spray bottle of rescue remedy fell out of my pocket and SMASHED. I thought that was it then, it was all over lol. Im gutted i lost it but discovered i didn't need it at all! I dont know how it fell out of my pocket when i had pushed it so far in, am wanting to believe my dad made it happen as a way of telling me how strong i am and that i dont need it I know he will be proud of me I had such a good catch up with my cousins at the party, i havent socialised for so long. Felt great.

Then we went to see the inlaws for a bit, and then i made a lovely roast chicken dinner. We sat in the garden to eat AND THEN (sorry if im boring you! ) we went for a nice long walk and fed the ducks at our local park

Was fantastic. I felt "normal" all day. I did take my 40mg propanolol tablet this morning when i normally take 20mg so maybe this is the reason but i dont care, i will take 40mg every day if it helps me enjoy my life again!

Just going to settle down and watch a scary film, the antichrist with DH. Anyone seen it? Am looking forward to it

Have a good night everyone!

Kildare, thanks I managed to stop thinking about panicking in the end Hope you had a good day in the sunshine!

Piggy, thanks for the tip!

NEMT ...
Thant's fantastic sounds like you had a great day ..through all the little hick ups you managed anxiety free to get through the day and have some fun time as well [smile ] well done you ...
My DH would be the same with the car thing to ..maybe its a man thing ? i hate being late for things , i get so stressed if i am .you did well to let it go over you .
catching up with your cousin , , Roast dinner , the lovely walk all sounds like such a great day .

And im sure your Dad would think the same

enjoy your film x

off to watch desperate HW , now take my mind off things .
night all x

Oh dear...dont watch antichrist...

Strangely, it was about a woman who was suffering with major anxiety after losing her child, and her husband was a therapist and tried CBT with her..DH sat there rolling his eyes saying "are you sure this is the right film its not one of your anxiety dvd's is it" hahaha Anyway this woman in the film lost her mind totally and it was all rather scary really.....

Dont watch, honest.

Thanks a lot choclab! I hate being late too, you should have heard me shouting at DH "we'll never get there now, were too late i cant believe you decided to clean the car when we had to leave, its your fault were late" blah blah blah...i was feeling lightheaded by the time we got there but managed to shake it off! When we got to inlaws later on DD told them that we were late and that i shouted at daddy I added in that daddy gave as good as he got

Hope you are ok tonight..sending you good nights sleep vibes!

NEMT ,

def not one for me to watch then ...lol ...how funny was like that and you didnnt know ...spooky .....

hope you slept ok after ?

feel bit wobbly today , very heavy period , ....and feeling bit light headed and hot flushes...

got to go to tesco thismorning so hope will get through it ...but then going for back massage with the hot stones ..so that will be nice ..

still feeling anx about scan , hope to here something today or i will give doc a call i think ...

hope everyone els ok ?

Hi all sorry I havent been on for a day or so...

Piggy- Sounds like you had a lovely time, that museum sounds really interesting. Glad you enjoyed your girly dinner- you deserve it. Yes my boss is a dick for doing that( felt myself nodding when i read that) I got myself in a right state over it too. Wisdom teeth- ow, ow, ow! I oddly used teething granules when mine were hurting( desperate times and all that. Seemed to help though)

choclab- you are not being a pain at all. Always here to listen. Hope tesco goes ok. Be kind to yourself you are doing all you can. i also torture myself with google and nothing good ever comes of it. I am also very irrational when the anxiety kicks in I think a few ppl are.

Pelvic- hope you're feeling ok. Its horrible rowing, so emotionally/mentally draining. I hope things are a bit better for you.

blissa-Hope you had a good time at your sisters and the drive wasnt too bad. I am a nightmare as a passenger I freak out at the smallest of things.

never- Ahh scary film! So glad you had such a lovely day. its so nice being able to enjoy things. your post really made me smile.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.
Being late is a horrible feeling, i'm sorry i laughed at what you said your dd said! why do men decide to do needless jobs when there are more important things going on?

armadillo-I hope your ok.

kildare- Hope your well and you enjoyed yesterday's sun. Today has been a gorgeous one here.

Things are all ok my end, had a false labour start this morning- when I finally accepted something might be happening the adrenalin kicked in and then when it amounted to nothing I felt quite deflated 2 weeks to go this week ladies 2 weeks! Trying not to think about the birth. I have to admit im getting bored now though.I still cant decide whether im having pains or its trapped wind half the time

ok I dont think ive missed anyone- sorry if i have!
off to mw in the morning- wish me luck, blooming hate going just dreading anything being wrong and I can just envisage(sp?) my panic and being reminded of how awful it was when we had a couple of scares early in the pregnancy.

Have a good evening everyone

Lola x

WOW really, really long post. I wont space it out next time!! Sorry ladies! x

Hi lola!
I like reading long messages . You sounds really positive - 2 weeks, how exciting! We need to see pics somehow once the little one arrives! Hope the mw appt goes well and sounds like things are moving down below!

Hope tesco went well choclab and that you get your scan date soon.

How was your trip blissa?

neverenough - will remember never to watch that film!! We usually watch an episode of the inbetweeners before bed as its quite lighthearted (waiting for dp to buy me season 4 of sex and the city - will be waiting a while despite him promising )

Had good day here too - did tesco and sorted out all of my work admin and bills/bank stuff etc.

Hello armadillo, yommy, kildare xxx

Hey piggy, glad you had a productive day yesterday. I will somehow put some pic's up once he's here for you ladies. Bit of a rant coming up (sorry ladies)
MW app was ok he is fine, reckons he'll be 7 7 1/2 lbs.
He's back to back but head down so i think he just needs to shuffle more to my left a bit. Hopefully he will i dont want him to get stuck poor little lamb.
I'm getting more and more frustrated it has to be said... and bored tbh. I dont have the energy to do much outdoors but too much energy to stay on my bum at home.
Had bit of a blip earlier, just worrying about the babe, hope he is and will be ok. Just fear of the unknown I guess. I also worry I dont deserve this, we went through hell to get this far I almost freak out. I just want my perfect little one all safe with me now. Sorry incredibly tad hormonal atm(does this happen before you give birth?)
Hope everyone else has a lovely day

Lola

aww bless you thislittle ...

not long now , and your time will be full of things to do .

the last few weeks are the worst i think ..

when is your due date ?