Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

[MathsMadMummy]

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

I'll christen the list!

I went to Sanisburys and got half way through the shopping and had overwhelming panic. However I practiced my CBT techniques and managed to finish the shopping. I can't say I enjoyed it but I feel it was an achievement.

I also went to meet a friend for a cuppa in the cafe in the park and didn't feel anxious before, during or after. Result!

oh well done MMM

and well done CL.

Remember any achievement is great even if it's just "got out of bed" "had toast" etc etc

(and yes sorry to my slatterns over in good housekeeping this is pretty similar thing to that one just this is a little more basic)

today i have erm erm got up posted on here eaten some food - can't remember what but i have had something taken DD to doctors and read three stories for her and got her off to bed.

tomorrow will be better. I am going to get up before nine and eat breakfast with DD as she can't go to school tomorrow. i'm also going to do some washing - one load

will let you know how it goes

thanks for setting this up

Can I join in?

Today I have driven to uni for an app to sort out my extensions and taken ds to nursery.

Well after ages of thinking I must.... today I did!

I booked drs appointments for me and DD; a haircut for me; booked a ten week parent & child "storytelling dance" course for me & DD; made and posted a birthday card to a friend; sent a text to a friend I haven't seen in ages; and ordered a tonne of topsoil for the garden. Phew, that was an inspired day, if only I can keep going now and do something everyday I might feel like I am regaining control of my life.

(Of course I didn't hang the washing up, clear up the pile of stuff to be recycled, do my sewing or change the bedding but I'll try to focus on what I did do)

And well done countrylover for finsihing the shopping! Can you explain anything about what CBT techniques you use?

I do a combination of a few. The first one is a distraction technique where I listen to everything around me and mentally naming every sound I hear. The idea being it takes my mind off the anxiety.

The other one I use is something I made up myself and it's rather harsh. But I just tell myself 'shut up, shut up, shut up'. In my head of course, I'm not muttering this under my breath wandering around Sanisburys! It helps stop the racing thoughts.

The final one is just reassuring myself that I am going to get better and reminding myself of all the good days and things I've acheived over the past few weeks.

I'm going to be needing all these techniques tomorrow as I have to go into work for a meeting. I've already been in tears about it this morning. I'm dreading it, absolutely dreading it as I've been on maternity leave for a year so this is the first time I will have to get on public transport, use my brain etc.

But hopefully in tomorrows list I'll be able to post my acheivement as getting into work and sitting in a meeting without running home screaming and crying!

Today I phoned the GP to cancel my appt - not ideal as I need to sort out meds, but I can't really walk as I buggered up my leg on Mon ... anyway it's an achievement, I hate phone calls!

Also got up, had breakfast, fed DS, not too bad considering aforementioned leg - not used to injury so I'm wallowing in it - and an atrocious night with DS (he would only sleep leaning on my face! WTF?)

Jammyrella, absolutely, focus on what you have done not what you haven't. If I thought of the stuff I didn't do, I'd probably cry! A storytelling dance course sounds fun!

Can I join in please?

today I have got myself and DD ready and her off to her dads. I've done some washing and cleaned the bathroom. I am gearing myself up to walk tp the post office to buy my new car tax.. needed a cup of tea or three first

CL, best of luck with your meeting!

If it helps, we'll all be looking forward to hearing how you get on, and thinking of you.

I had CBT for years before we had DCs, it was more to help me deal with the past but it's really made things easier to recognise and deal with now I've had PND (both times) - I'm sure I'd be much worse now if I hadn't had it. IMHO, it should be called Cognitive Behavioural Training, not Therapy - you have to work pretty hard at it too!

CL best of luck too with your meeting.

Today I have made ds his breakfast, drank some tea and am going to go have a shower and get ds dressed for nursery this afternoon. Then i need to go to the gp. which i am dreading I hate going there but I have my ipod so it will help take that edge off. I think afterwards my hv is taking me food shopping but that depends on the outcome of the gp app.

Ok - managed a very difficult Easter service at church last night.

This morning managed to get DS3 and myself dressed to go and watch DS1's school Easter service.

Then invited my BF round for a cup of coffee and we had a chat, managed to open up a bit to her, but as I invited her round because she was upset about something that happened last night didn't as much as I probabl should.

Will need to get some lunch for DS3 soon, and then at 1.30 head off for DS2's Easter Service.

Good stuff

TAF, do you play the organ/piano then?

I have changed 2 REALLY gross nappies... getting the kids dressed although DS would've stayed in his sleepsuit if his nappy hadn't leaked spose lunch is next!

so far the biggest achievement is that I actually feel ok in myself, and haven't been grumpy with the kids

yes I'm the church organist, only thing that I usually leave the house for during the week apart from school run/essentials from shops.

Hello all, well not managed to get dressed yet or even brushed my teeth!

but so far I have made breakfast for DC and got them to school even wearing clean uniforms!Put one load of washing on and its now in the dryer.

Thats pretty much it really but better than yesterday I guess!

oh I made pack lunches this morning, and mopped the kitchen floor but that was kind of forced on me as the dog had an accident in the night.

DD is dressed and had 3 feeds so far

Managed to do an online shop last night so that is coming later on.

Toccata, sorry you had a rubbish night last night. You did fab going to school! I find stuff like that higly stressful!! Am very impressed.

MMM, just feeling ok is a big achievement! its lovely to have days like that.

Everyone is doing very well and spured on by your posts I am now going to make myself go and get dressed and brush my teeth, think a shower is aiming a bit high today

Can I join too - (for 2 days till I go off for a fortnight anyway).

Today I have:

Got up

Got all 3 kids to school including writing 2 absence notes, filling in a form for a trip, making 2 packed lunches and getting dh out the door to work!

Had shower, got dressed.

Got to my volunteer job when was swiftly sent home due to "looking like death" according to the supervisor - we've all had a tummy bug.

MNetted.

Havr to go out at 2.30 to get kids form school/deliver to music lesson/wait/come back etc - am so glad they normally get the bus!

ahh well the school services are held in the church, which I know well and feel "safe" in so it's not as hard as going to school.

Have to go out again this afternoon for DS2's Easter Service - he's reading a prayer at it.

Weegie you have done fab!! even if you did get sent home from work.

Toccata, hope your afternoon goes well, you must be very proud of your DS. It always makes me cry whenever I watch my DC doing a reading in Church, find church very moving anyway but add one of my kids doing a reading and I'm off!

I am going to try and make a dent in the dishes in the sink now

toccata, I was just thinking about you rushing in and out to watch your DS's.

Up until I had DD six months ago I was a TA in a primary school.

One of the things that use to upset me sometimes was the kids who never ever had anyone to come and watch when we were doing a play or special assembley. I would watch their little faces constantly looking at the door and see their disappointment every time it opened and it wasn't their mum.

I know some parents genuinely can't make it, because of illness or having to work etc but I know for a fact that some of them just couldn't be bothered.

I live in the middle of the estate where most of the pupils live and so did know some of their families.

I have so much admiration for you that despite having what is, lets face it, a really debilitating illness, you still get yourself out to watch for boys. They are very lucky to have such a wonderful mum!

countrylover, really hope everything goes ok tomorrow! What time do you have to be at your meeting? I will be thinking of you xx

I need to go to Morrisons, have had the plumbing for the dishwasher sorted today (only have to pay for parts - and that's when I've got the cash) by my BF's DH and it plumbed in.

Was only plumbing/socked under their for one thing (washing machine) - but he's sorted it all out for me.

But have no dishwasher tablets, and need a few bits from their as well.

Going to buy the DS's dinner at the cafe (They do really good deals after 4.30pm) as I haven't yet loaded the dishwasher and run it through to get some clean stuff.

Struggling to find the motivation though

I've done nothing much since making a (really yummy) wrap for lunch. This time of day is rubbish, even if I'm not feeling too bad I tend to think oh well, DH will be home soon, I'll just do sod all relax...

oh bollox - morrisons trip is off.

I went through and yelled at told the DS's to tidy up the mess and popped up to the loo.

Only to hear raining pelting down on the window (skylight one)........so it's going to be a mad dash to the shop on the corner (not too far - about 5 houses down and then the depth of the shop) and back.

Dinner will have to be the drumsticks left over from yesterday, bread and whatever else I find to chuck on a plate

I hate this time of day too, they are the hours where I am most likely to have a full on melt down, So hard trying to see to a baby who is knackered by this time, and feed the other DC. At least they broke up from school today so there is no homeowrk to do!

Nothing wrong with drumsticks! Yesterday mine had cold meat from the day before, just packed their plates out with other stuff i could find, They really enjoyed!

bunged some spuds in the oven tonight so they had jackets with beans, cheese and tuna. Couldn't cope with anything more taxing.

Toccate, divine intervention! someone is telling you not to go to morrisons

have been to the shop

The DS's are eating a "finger food" dinner consiting of left over chicken drumsticks, sliced bread, baby plum tomatoes (DS3 has had 5 ), cucumber slices and a cheese string (the latter being the result of DS3's tantrum in the shop)

I am eating a cheese, ham, cucmber and pickle sandwich.

My dishwasher is finally sorted - (it needed the plumbing under sink setting up for two applicances and plumbing in) courtesy of my BF's DH - I only have to pay for parts (when I've gott he money)

So tonight's challenge is to get everything loaded into the dishwasher.