going to have a 'good' week

[Sax]

Hope to be around a bit this week but on the onwards and upwards line not the low and sad one. Decided to take a positive attitude starting now and hope not to disappoint myself. i should be here if anyone needs an ear! Have a good week everyone......

its called 'alBARno-one" or something like that

is on active convos atm

AllBarNo-one - another thread.

Amazing how mindless twaddle does wonders for forgetting our stresses in this world - need to shut off from the world- go on MN and find a good thread about nothing related to yourself!!!! Cool, good on you guys... thank you...

I am sorry guys - i know this thread is now old hat but i wanted to write that I've come to a conclusion which to me is important. (too much analysis probably but as I said I think tooo much).

If i cannot motivate myself, then I struggle motivating the children and I then have even more of a struggle motivating dh. Thats when the day gets progressively harder and we all end up at each others throats - I am finding it so hard to prop everyone else up when i need to sort my head out first - now I think i'm being selfish becasue if I sorted them out first maybe I could have some time to sort me out.

i don't know anymore - analysising too much as I've said before - one of my biggest failures!

Now Sunday - very disappointed with my non achievement this week - think I managed two good days this week. Oh well - theres always next week I suppose. Let myself down big time - whats new!

sinking and drinking - not a good combination!

Now, where's that toothache just when you need it! sorry I mean her! busy flouncing probably!

Its amazing how alone one can feel when no one answers - think I'll just drink and drink and try to forget - sorry to sound so pissed off, just when I thought I was doing OK, never mind! Sorry to all who read this - I am being both embarressing and derogatory I know but its hard sometimes to decifer ones own mind!

hey Sax,

whats up hun?

sinking to the depths sorry not a good day

whats happened?

you type and i'll listen hun

xxx

void, nothing, numb, no feelings, no self respect, can't cry, can't talk, feel pathetic, .........................................................I can't do this, its not good for me.........better to bottle it...........sorry, thank you for replying though!

Sax

its not good to keep it bottled up - ive learnt the hard way.

no one 'knows'you here, you can say whatever you like and no one will judge you.

just give it a try?

You are doing so well Huggy, you should be concentrating on yourself - you are doing really really well - ignore me - just having a bad day - never was good at expressing myself!!!

You've still got my phone number right? the offer to chat still stands.

or why not do what i did last night? i just typed and typed and typed in that email to you, didnt even read it before i sent it.

it helped me get things off my chest.

email me if you want.

xxx

I don't do 'chatting about things' one of the problems really - thank you for the kind offer - wallowing at the moment and its a bit pathetic - don't know how to feel anymore! I will have a think Huggy!

Sax I'm sorry your feeling so low, I've been there before and it's a horrible space, I'm just going to say two things 1 [[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]] and 2 I'm here if you want to talk.

okay, hun

but even if you dont want to chat about how you feel, we could always just chat about general stuff to take your mind off it.....

like hunky men!!!

im here if you need me. just like you were for me
xx

I am paranoid, self doubt, gone from feeling angry at the world to feeling numb and pretty much nothing all in the space of 3 weeks. I don't care anymore - I don't like me and don't like what I see in the mirror - I feel nothing - its not a nice feeling!

i understand that feeling Sax

and i know how hard it is to talk.

any idea whats making you feel like this?

i don't think i'm a fit mother becasue I'm not coping with them - I don't think I am worthy of my husband who I don't love at the moment becasue I don't think I'm capable of loving him - I don't seem to be able to feel anything! Its a frightening numb feeling like I just exsist - this isn't living!

You shouldn't be here Huggy, you need upbeat, strong, positive vibes around you all the time at the moment - I know you mean well but you really need to be somewhere in the lighthearted not the heavy!!!!

im still here Sax, and your doing really well.

keep tyoing and getting it off your chest or phone the samaritians.

trust me they are literally a life saver at times. they dont know you and you can talk, cry and shout till youve let off steam and can relax abit.

i know how hard it is but believe me its worth the effort.

I'm clamming up sorry but thank you for offering to listen, maybe with more wine!

email me if you change your mind

and watch the wine - alcahols a depressant.
try choccie instead!!!1