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Original poster

A new thread for stressedmummy

562 replies

soapbox · 11/05/2005 22:05

...

OP posts:
stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 20:26

Night ulysees!
I am now on the first of many glasses of wine in a vain attempt to cheer myself up!

Caribbeanqueen · 13/05/2005 20:30

hi stressedmummy, just been catching up with your thread.

It struck me that even after your big talks with h, nothing has changed because he knows he can get away with it. You have threatened him, but nothing has happened, so he has no reason to change. He is getting his own way.

Not sure what the solution is, other than to leave.

swiperfox · 13/05/2005 20:35

Hiya again - you can see from your posts how much more relaxed you are this evening while he's at work. I am the same as you - If we didn't have children I would have walked away a looooong time ago!! I didn't leave when things were at there worst mainly because i had no idea where i would go. I was desperate not to end up moving my children to a hospital and it was that that made me stay and fight for him to sort himself out. I had to be really brave and be strong in front of him and tell him a few home truths. I really didn't want to take dd away from him either because she absolutely idolises him. But we did get through it and now things are getting better - dont get me wrong we do still have some fierce arguments but we both have learnt to walk away from the situation rather than stay and blow it up. Does he have many close male friends that you also know that you could talk to? Maybe someone that he is comfortable pouring his soul out to? Having someone outside the situation to talk to seemed to be the thing to wake dp up from his rages

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 20:36

You are right CQ.
I don't think he actually CAN change long term without professional help, as he has this terrible temper that he cannot control.
He promised to go to anger managment in December, but nothing has been done about it.
He works long shifts & is often tired, which is when his temper is at its worse.
I think the only reason it may have seemed to me that things had improved a bit before now, was because I don't really see that much of him when he is working so much.

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 20:40

I am more relaxed now & have even stopped crying ATM!
He does have male friends, but he is not a very open person & cannot see him pouring his heart out to them.
The scary thing is that from what I have heard of his Dad from MIL, he was VERY similar & I think MIL went through Hell while she was married to him.

Caribbeanqueen · 13/05/2005 20:49

Do you want your boys to act like him when they grow up? That's what will happen, the pattern just repeats itself.

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 20:53

No I don't want them to be like him, that is not a nice thought.
You are right though.
MIL was talking about how H's Dad threw away all H's brothers lego that he had got for his birthday & cancelled his party because he would not tidy the lego up.
That is just the kind of reaction that I would expect from H.

puska · 13/05/2005 21:08

ahhh - thats better i can now sit down - swimming duty over! hows the wine going down?!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:13

Hi puska
The wine is going down well, I have nearly finished my 2nd!
I have a bit of background music to try & make me relax a bit & have not cried for a whole 30 minutes!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:14

It is nice strong wine!!!

Ulysees · 13/05/2005 21:15

Well boys are in bed now - I'm having a nice cool glass of sauvignon blanc

puska · 13/05/2005 21:16

well done you - no tears for 30 mins! wish i was near you i'd join you! s'pose i'll go and crack open my own bottle!!!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:17

Good for you!
See, we are kind of drinking together!
How many children do you have ulysees?

Ulysees · 13/05/2005 21:26

I have 2 boys.

My wine's quite strong too but I need to finish it as it's been open a couple of days

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:29

We both have 2 boys!
How old are yours?

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:29

I am now on my 3rd BTW!!!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:38

Have you opened a bottle yet puska?

Ulysees · 13/05/2005 21:40

mine are 4 and 7. They're very close. DS1 is very bright but DS2 has communication problems. He's lovely though and clever in other ways.

puska · 13/05/2005 21:41

omg ladies do you want a laugh at my expense check out this

will i get worse as the evening goes on!!

puska · 13/05/2005 21:41

not sure if i should!! bearing in mind previous thread! heee!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:43

Mine are 5 & 2.
They are very different too.
Ds1 is bright, but has problems with concentration & is all the things that I described him as earlier.
Ds2 is into everything & seems a lot more confident.
I hope he stays that way & does not end up with ds1's problems, due to situations at home.

Ulysees · 13/05/2005 21:43

Oh I read it as 7 before lol

I know a woman with 10 and she doesn't have a tv, probs why the 10 eh?

puska · 13/05/2005 21:45

lol! thats it i am now in your club - i have a lovely glass of red!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:45

LOL puska!

stressedmummy · 13/05/2005 21:46

I am feeling a lot better ATM!
Good 4 you in joining us on the wine!