Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

A new thread for stressedmummy

562 replies

soapbox · 11/05/2005 22:05

...

OP posts:
Blu · 26/05/2005 18:05

Sorry you're feeling yukky. You must be exhausted - not just tired after a night out, but all this emotional stress. And worn out psychologically - you have been juggling with fire between your DS and H for months.

stressedmummy · 26/05/2005 18:13

I have this horrible feeling that H is hoping I will forget about this anger management, as he has not mentioned it since Sunday & after his negative response yesterday.
I think you are right Blu, it may be heading towards the big one now.
I am very, very scared though.

stressedmummy · 26/05/2005 18:15

Things aren't going to get better long term are they?

Ulysees · 26/05/2005 18:22

So sorry you're feeling yucky

I bet u feel like you're walking on eggshells half the time?

I'm not sure if there would be any point in showing H the list tbh. Doesn't sound like he 'hears' you anyway. He sounds in denial.

Blu, do you work? Just wondered what you do for a living as you sound very wise

Blu · 26/05/2005 18:25

Not unless H decides for himself that he needs to change, and does something about it .

And if he doesn't get help, things could get worse. It feels as if he is taking out his own unhappiness on you and the DS's. Horrible for you, and the problem for HIM is that it isn't even an effective way to deal with his unhappiness or make things better. He is still unhappy however badly he treats you and DS. So then he will blame you for not making him happier, and it will be a tightening viscious circle.

There's no need to do anything rash, one step at a time is fine, see a solicitor (if you can find the money - or is there a cheap / free way to establish your rights, I wonder?), and think things through step by step, and how you can get the right support.

I don't think I would talk to H about it - it will just cause friction that adds to your considerable burden. He has had two reminders / prompts to seek help, what more can you do? Just wait and see if he takes the initiative, while quietly building strength around your OPTIONS.

Blu · 26/05/2005 18:28

Ulysees: ahem, yes I do work (but am embarrassed about the amount of time I spend on MN!) and run an arts organisation. No expert in this kind of area, but was once in a relationship which was v v unhealthy. Just find it v easy to picture SM's situation because of the clear and honest way she describes it . Am probably v UN-wise - so don't do anything important on my suggestion

stressedmummy · 26/05/2005 18:31

You sound very wise to me Blu!
I may start a new thread soon, as this one is getting a tad slow to post my messages on now, due to being quite long!

Blu · 26/05/2005 18:33

That tightening viscious circle is one I have been in. Someone who had felt v unloved as a child (with good reason) could never believe that anyone could really love him, so would not 'rely' on a sloe relationship and was prolifaically unfaithful. Would do terrible things and then say 'you'll leave me, because I've done this'. I would say 'no, I really love you' and he would do somehting even worse to test my love further. then he did some things that affected other areas of my life, and nearly destroyed my career for me.

stressedmummy · 26/05/2005 18:35

Sounds awful Blu. Poor you.
Did he ever get help?

Blu · 26/05/2005 18:35

Good idea, SM - also, you have shifted since this thread began so time for a new one!

i have to go and manage an event. Go on some 'fun' threads! Night!

Blu · 26/05/2005 18:36

No. He hooked up with someone with a worse drug problem with him (so that he felt less inadequate) and now lives in real squalor with an empty vodka bottle. V sad, he was truly talented. learnt a LOT from him at his best.

stressedmummy · 26/05/2005 18:37
Sad
New posts on this thread. Refresh page