I'm so so sorry

[essbee]

Message withdrawn

No need for sorry. I'm just so glad that people were around to physically take care of you. So glad to know that you will be around for a long time. You are a great mum. You called for help when you needed it and I'm glad that you got it. None of us who helped would have done so had we thought you didn't need it. There but for the Grace of God could walk any of us. Take time, rest, talk to who you need to. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and kisses to you.

Hi Essbee

Glad to see your name again - but please don't apologise for anything that you did. You are a really lovely woman and your children will be proud to have you for a mum when they are old enough to realise everything that you have gone thru.

Please push to get help, and let people help you , which I know can be a lot harder than it sounds.
Take care of yourself please love

Hugs

lili xxxxxxxxx

You did make me smile in your post "

essbee please don't apologise, you have nothing to say sorry for. Just so glad you are OK. obviously lots of us don't 'know' you in RL but we do know you've had a hard time of it lately and hopefully you can start to feel better soon.

and have just read that utter shite on the other thread . Ignore it essbee; it's bullshit. (sorry to swear but sometimes, like now, it's necessary)

Typical essbee after all that to log on and go straight to Titania's thread to see how she is.

hi essbee, I had a feeling it might be you. Like the others have said, please don't apologise for anything, there's no need. We are just pleased that you were able to come to mumsnet when you needed help and support and some lovely people near to you were able to provide help.

Yes, there was a collection and yes you do deserve it. Lots of people care about you and want you to get better and wanted to help you in whatever way they could.

Please look after yourself and good luck at the doctors.

CQ xxx

All i want you to do is get better. Take any help that is offered and stop being too proud to accept.

You need to keep seeing your gp, and any other professionals as well. Mn is a fantastic place, but it cannot become the only thing to keep you going, although it is v easy to hide inside it's blanket of security and support.

You have to try and take some small steps to help yourself now, as we can only do so much. I believe that you love your kids, and you are a good mum. I believe that you are extremely unhappy , but you dont want to die. I know you are struggling to cope with life and the things you have to deal with, and that is completely normal for someone in the middle of a major depression, I have been in the same place as you remember, but the main fact , however harsh, is that you DO have to try and cope. It is not just about you now you are a parent. It won't be easy, will feel like wading through treacle, but it can and will get better, but ONLY if you make a superhuman effort to help yourself, and that starts by going to the gp and taking her advice. I spoke to her for quite a while and she does want to help.

Use your friends in rl and on mn to support and encourage you during this journey, but you have to make those first few steps alone, if you want to start getting better.

Take care and much love xx

I want to have written lou's post - I agree with every word she's written. You can do it, essbee, you really can. You have come so far already and achieved so much - this is a very bad bit you are in now, but you wil come out the other side with professional help and support from your friends. You've come too far to give up now.

I don't know you and I don't have anything useful to add to the wise things that have already been said. I just wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon.

Essbee contact me if you want to talk, im not going to post much on here apart from you are in charge of your own destiny, you dont have to apologise to anyone for your actions. Save the energy in getting yourself better and forget about others. It is a bit like getting your own oxygen mask on in the plane before helping people with theres.

Perfect words from Lou as ever. Please don't apologise essbee, there's no need. Someone else said that all we have done for you is done out of love and concern. That's true. Use the system, keep strong, lean on your friends here and in RL. You are much too precious to throw in the towel.

xx Thinking of you. You have absolutely no reason to apologise.. asking for help was the right thing to do.

Make sure you get to the GP today.

Essbee, I haven't posted previously on any of the vlost threads as I didn't feel I had anything useful to say that hadn't already been said.

However, you really don't need to apologise to anyone. Your original message was obviously a cry for help and people responded to that cry in a wonderful way.

Please don't think you are a dreadful mother. Depression alters the mind so that you think and do things that you wouldn't dream of doing when in a rational state of mind.

I am so glad that you received the help you needed and I pray that you will continue to accept this very readily offered support to help you through what is a clearly difficult time for you.

Please don't be sorry about posting essbee

we're all here for you when you need us.

Nothing to apologise for as far as I am concerned. Personally i feel awful for not realising you felt sooooooo bad.

It is normal i think for you to feel guilty and stupid for what you did (i did), but you shouldn't feel any of those things. It just all got too much and you couldn't cope, hopefully now we all know, we can all help you get through this.

My thoughts and prayers are with youxx I hope you are feeling better soonxx

Essbee, I am thinking of you xxx

please take care.

Please don't feel the need to apologise. I'm just glad that there were people able to rally in RL when you needed it and so relieved you feel able to pop back.

Agree with Beety and Lou's advice, you can do it , just take it small steps (seeing the GP today would be good as a start) and MNetters will be with you all the way.

Take care of yourself

essbee, I think you are wonderful. You've dealt with so much shit, it's unreal. Yes, you had a weak moment, but sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can resurface again. You are fabulous, don't you forget that. Lx

Everyone here is soooo happy to be able to send you a personal message that we KNOW you are going to read-I'm a new Mner and I logged in at your worst point-I havent been able to get you out of my mind for two days now-I'm sending you virtual hugs/kisses/warm thoughts and positive whatevers in hoping you can make it through this-you have so many friends-when you are up for it read the thread you started and see what a wonderful place Mums net is and the power of love.

Essbee.. you are solely responsible for a lovely 'grouphug' feeling that has been happening here on MN since Monday.. (anyone with negative feelings can go to hell! None of us care about them!) Everyone wants to help you.. and it made us all so happy to be able to do something..because everyone cares so much..so please accept what is offered

Take care, takeone day at a time, one hour at a time etc.. and remember that everyone cares about you and your babies

SJ x

hi essbee - I don't know all of your situation but just wanted to post my support for you. I hope you can accept all of the support being offered as it has all been given for the right reasons. I'm sure no-one thinks you are selfish or a bad mother. I was truly moved by what happened on MN on Monday and proud to be a part of this site. I hope you are too. RD xxx