Thats it. I have finally realised that I can't 'do' life anymore

[Titania]

yes me again.....don't really want replies, just need to vent

I have finally come to the conclusion I am a crap mum and crap wife (and don't say I'm not please). I am so fed up its unbelievable. DS1 has gone to a friends house to play. Its the first time I have ever let him go. DS2 is just screaming at me and so is DD cos I won't let her have chocolate, when her dinner is going to be ready in 5 minutes....ds1 hates me....he tells me he does. he backchats and throws things at me all the time. He has me in tears everyday.

we are so seriously in debt. The company who were supposed to be sorting it out for us has been promising to get it sorted within 2 weeks for the past 6 months. Now we are getting all the court summons'/baliffs calling etc and its just not funny anymore...not that it was in the first place but you know what I mean. I have rung the debt company and got mad with them so many times i've lost count....we are £28,000 in debt and we need it sorting....

I don't feel as though the cousellor I am seeing is actually doing anything constructive to help me. I tell her all my woes and she just listens and thats it....she doesn't suggest anyways to deal with situations.

I am having at least one panic attack a day.

I am fed up of feeling so lonely and isolated. I don't even feel as though I am on this planet anymore....like I am standing here looking at someone elses life...

I can't do it anymore. I can't be a mum and a wife....I have sat here all afternoon thinking that all of them would be better off without me....I could seriously pack my bags and leave now....I even found myself standing at the level crossing before waiting for the train to go by. It was a high speed train and I thought... 'I wonder how much it would really hurt if I stood in front of one of those'

I cry nearly all day almost every day. There is always something to go against me...always something going wrong....something to throw be back in the deep end....and now I feel like I am drowning....

All I want is a normal life and to be happy. My kids would be better off without me. So would dh....whats the point of them having me around if I can't be normal???? I have resigned myself to the fact that I am never going to feel right again.

I am sat here in tears now hoping to god that I kiss my kids goodnight for the last time tonight......

FF

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most of my expediture is going on debts at the moment......

I think Cod just made a really valid point Titania

I understand most of your money is going on debts at the moment but you really can't afford to have the luxury of pets if you ever question whether you have the money to feed your kids (I've seen you post that before)

I would seriously seriously consider giving all the pets up .. I know that would be extremely hard but they are a drain on finances (I know I can't afford in my monthly budget to adequately care for any kind of pet)

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no no no no no.........im not getting rid of them....they hardly take any of my money anyway....

just have some disgusting sea monkeys and anything kids can find in the garden .. slugs, snails .. DS is rather fond of ants

I think if you write it down you may find they do

I don't even remember what animals you have .. i know you have 2 rabbits now cos I saw the photo .. so that's what? straw, carrots, rabbit food, vets bills?

why are you so skint now tho? are the debt repayments that have been set up in the IVA realistically high? is DH spending too much? or is it that you don't have the illusory safety net of credit cards to fall back on?

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what dead?

the iva has still not been set up....they are pissing me around....they finally sent the correct papers for me to sign at the weekend though so fingers crossed they get a move on with it now.

WTF. they are a shower of useless **s. that should have been set up months ago.

i would get the papers back tbh. should you even be signing up to it? how much of this is your debt rather than DHs? you might be better off going bankrupt. as I understand it, the main attraction of IVAs to creditors is that they get more than they would if you went bankrupt. so you will end up paying a bit more under an IVA>

its joint debt. we have both signed up to the iva. we rang them 6 months ago to sort this out....

you do need some proper advice about money tho

will try and find a reference to a freephone debt line - am sure someone has posted it.

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and really a walrus?

I was offered a kitten last month and i simply answered with, are you high? no bloody way can i afford vet bills etc.

Saying that if it was a dog, i would have put it on a rope and gone busking

i havent got that many pets now anyway

telephone number for consumer credit counselling service is Telephone number is 0800 138 1111

there is some good debt info on this thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2230&threadid=53152&stamp=050222144915

particularly from mandy3266

an IVA is IIRC an Insolvency Voluntary Arrangement.

would the PDSA not provide free/cheap vetinerary care. my step-dads mum who was very skint and had loads of cats would use them.