SUPPORT THREAD FOR PARTNERS OF THOSE LIVING WITH MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESSNESS - We're not alone!

[PurpleLostPrincess]

As promised, this is for the partners of those suffering with mental health illnesses of any description. I've found that just getting it off my chest has really helped and its so reassuring to know I'm not alone in all of this!

I'll start us off - my DH has suffered with mental health issues pretty much all his life. We grew up together so I was there when his Dad died of cancer, then his mum abandoned him a few months later (he was only 15). That explains the Post Traumatic Stress aspect of his illness. He also suffers with severe depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD and a few other things. I'm currently trying to get him CBT and reading a book on it too (not much available in our area on the NHS). He has tried working a few times but seems to end up having a breakdown and gets worse than he was to begin with. He seems to want to get better at the moment and is on Citalopram (2 weeks today). He has previously tried all the different ad's and used to have a problem with prescription drugs (so I keep them and hand them out like a nurse now!). He has a heavy dependency on the green stuff which is a big issue in our marriage. Apart from all of that, he is a sweet, loving, kind, thoughtful and fun husband and is my best friend! As I said, we grew up together but I ended up with the wrong man (long story) so we were apart for 8 years in which time I lived through an extremely difficult and abusive relationship. Two years after that ended, DH and I met again and married six months later. I have 2 DC's from my previous marriage that he loves as his own as well as a 1 year old whom we cherish as he wasn't meant to be able to have kids (and we had 2 m/c's before her). That's just a small summary of us - there's so much more to the story of course!

Sorry, as you can tell, I have a habit of rambling and waffling and I apologise in advance! I'm looking forward to chatting with others who are living under what feels like a big black cloud and maybe swapping tips on how to cope with the day to day ups and downs. If I disappear for a few days its just that I haven't been able to get to the computer, rest assured I will be back!

Love and hugs, PLP
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just popped in to say hope things are ok simpson, have been thinking of you xxxx

Purplelostprincess - Things much better here

DH has been stable for 3 days and taking medication and now realises he may have to take it long term.

He saw DS today (my dad took him round) and my mum is taking DD to see him tomorrow.

On Sunday he may come here for dinner and it will be the first time I have seen him since I had to call police.

The mental health team are still going to see him every morning, but are happy with his progress.

Fingers X the worst is over.

Hope everyone else is well...

Hi Ladies
I'm new at all this. I saw this thread and knew it's the one for me. I'm going to rant on a bit now...probably more for myself, to let it out, rather than necissarily wanting a reply. So if it's too long, or you don't want to read it, that's fine. I think that just knowing theres a place I can talk about it & let it out really helps.

I'm in trouble. Today has started off bad. Reading through other messages on this thread, it's amazing how much rings true for me, and I thought it was just me.
Where do I start! look how much I've typed and I havn't even begun yet.
DP is bipolar (has only just been diagnosed). DS is 5 months old. I am lost.
When ds was just 4 weeks old we moved house, country, the lot.
we had been living abroad for 3 years. During that time I supported us completely. DP did not work for first 2 years then decided to open his own business (not successful). so while I was pg and trying to save money o afford not to work when bambino arrived, dp's business was swallowing up all my salary with the same promise every month...there's a big job on next week, I'll pay you back then, but I really need to pay the guys now blah blah blah.so as you can imagine, we're broke. living in a new area, no friends, or even someone i could call on occasionally to babysit, dp not working, and i feel like i can't work. (can't leave ds with dp alone - don't think he would harm him in any way, but dp cannot cope with baby crying even for a few mins. his solution is to plonk ds in cot, close door and ignore him)

Back to today... I got up at 8am when ds woke for breakfast. Dp still up playing computer game. had not come to bed. last night i went to kitchen to wash & sterilise bottles. dp said he would do it as i looked tired. Fab! offer of help very rare so accepted graciously and went to bed... can you guess..yes, got up and no bottles done. Not only that, but living/dining room really smokey (last week he started smoking in the house again. despite argument, agreed that it would only be after ds gone to bed, and the window or door to be left open til dp goes to bed...another promise broken)not so much bothered for myself as I'm getting used to it, but ds deserves better. you can imagin the state he got into this morning having to wait for breakfast while I sterisiled bottle.

It has just brought everything flooding back to me. either of these incidents a small thing (I'm realy trying not to let the small things get to me) but it feels like he has broken every promise recently. I feel like a single mother with no income, no help, no friends, and a stranger living in my house (which we're gonna be kicked out of) who wants dinner and coffees made on demand, and who goes to sleep in my bed once I've got up to look after ds. He has become really selfish recently and I don't know what to do.

sorry for rambling

Hi Notsoskinnynow - Glad you have found us!! Sorry you are going through this though

Its incredible how selfish mental illness makes a person. I know its part of the illness and not reallt them iyswim but its so hard. Notsoskinnynow - I have a Lo of 7mths and have to do everything for her too. Gets too much sometimes....

DH coming round today and it will be the first time since I had to call the police out last week. Am kind of dreading it really. My mum saw him yesterday and said he is ok (ish) but just feel like I am walking on eggshells waiting for it all to come crashing down....

Hope everyone else is well.

Purplelostprincess - how is your hip now? Hope your DH is managing to get some sleep.

Hi simpson,
thanks for your reply. I know what you mean about always walkuing on eggshells! It so hard to avoid the arguments sometimes. Yesterday, after i'd been online and posted here, i felt a bit better, so brought DS out for a drive, went for a walk by the sea, did the grocery shopping etc, and felt much better by the time I got home. Only it all went pear shaped. DP was up by this stage and decided to have an argument about what had happened earlier. I kept thinking, it takes two to argue and i'm not going to do it any more, not going to let him force me into saying what's on my mind only for him to twist it into being my own fault and me end up in tears and feeling miserable. I can't believe he manages to do it every time, no matter how determined I am not to let it happen. And of course, he always ends up angry at me, sayes it's all my fault (and I mean EVERYthing) and I end up feeling worthless,and like I'm doing a crap job of raising our son. Admittadly, he is probably a bit moanier than other babies, but that's probably cos i pick him up whenever he cries so as dp will not get annoyed at crying.

Anyway, have just been out for a long walk which helps. but must dash now and make up bottle as ds starting to wake. Hopefully dp will be in good form taday and look after ds so i can relax in a bath later. (funny how the things we wish for change so much, and a simple relaxing bath is now my idea of heaven!)

Hope all goes well with your DH Simpson.

Not sure wher to go from here, H saw the doctor but came away with the thought that he is not depressed, and was in a very positive mood. (friday morning, 19th). I had said that I could understand more why he said and did the things he does if there was a medical reason. I think I needed him to be diagnosed with something to justify in my mind the fact that he is actually not a very nice person.
I went to the doctor and she has increased my painkillers as I am in a lot of pain and we disussed me going on AD's. whih I accepted as I am exhausted and think someone needs to be strong for the kids.
We went to CAMHS and I sat and listened as DH and DS professed their undying love for each other, and yet I have just been through yet another weekend of hell and spent most of it trying to separate the family to limit the damage.
I have just plucked up the nerve to tell him that it is his behaviour and his attitude that is making life miserable. He actually said he'd try but couldn't promise anything and goes all 'poor little me'. He is rude and ungracious to the children and I think I had really pinned my hopes on him being diagnosed with depression to justify his behaviour, so now I have to deside if he doesn't change, is this what I want for me and my DC's future? The DC's don't want to be with him and he says he doesn't understand why they seem to hate him.

Simpson, it is so hard when they make such an effort for others and make you look bad and it is hard not to doubt yourself.

Myangels, I am sorry about the jealousy aspect of your situation, I go through that and it is frustrating beyond words.

I struggle with the situation I am in so everybody has my biggest sympathy and support as your stories are so harrowing and somewhere through all of this people seem to forget that you are going through this as well as the DH's get all the attention.

I love mondays as I get a break during the week with everyone at school/work. so am feeling calmer and more positive.

Hugs and support to all.....

Monday morning hugs to everyone - it staggers me sometimes to read what we are all going through, dealing with difficult husbands. They might not be being selfish on purpose, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with does it.

Welcome Notsoskinnyanymore - so sorry to hear that you haven't any support. Do you have a good GP or Health visitor that you can talk to? What care is DH getting for his bipolar? Once he is in the system you should be seen as his carer (if my experience is anything to go by, your DH might not like the idea that you are his "carer") and you should get a carer's assessment. This might be pretty rubbish and not offer too much practical help (but they might offer you counselling etc), but if you are lucky your carer support worker might be useful in chasing up help/referrals for your DH if he needs it and it can be someone for you to talk to too.

My DH is on the edge of a breakdown at the moment I reckon - he is having more "memories" (well, delusions) about my (non-existent) infidelities and left for work this morning in tears, admitting that he thinks he might be going mad and is scared. I hope this helps persuade him to take his meds again (simpson - I'm glad your DH is taking them and stable again - calling the police is one of my nightmares), but I doubt it.

To top it all my dad was taken to hospital last night (he had a stroke 2 and a half years ago and hasn't been too well since really). More worry. Thank God for my Prozac!!

Hugs
xxx

Hi ladies, I'm really sorry to hear it wasn't such a great weekend.

Simpson, hope the dinner with your dh went well.

Mou, best wishes in such situation.

My angels, have you found any medication helping in your dh's situation? it does sound really horrible for you, to hear all those nasty things being said about you, I'm so sorry.

Notsoskinny now, I can completely sympathise, my dh last week was diagnosed with bipolar and we have a had a bit of a rollercoaster ride in the last couple of years. My ds is nearly 2 now and when he was about 3 months old, he has a breakdown, that sounds a bit like what you are going through, he could not bear baby crying too much, and prefered to take him out in the pram rather than look after him indoors.
He was given AD, but obviously that wasn't going to sort out what he had, he stopped taking these and had a major episode 2 weeks ago when I had to call the police.

He was given more AD last week which made him so ill, I had to make him stop taking them, today he will see the go again, not yet seen by the specialist.

Are you in Australia, NZ or similar? could you not try finding some friends online? even just to get a bit of social interacion, that might help you.

I've also been very irritable recently as I feel stressed and I try so hard not to start arguments, pointing out things that haven't been done/or done wrong.
How does all of you get to relax? I seem to have neverending housework and cause I work from home part time while ds at nursery dh seems to thing I can do it all as I'm at home!

big hugs

Hi all

Things are up and down here

Dh has seen a doctor this morning who has put him on his original medication so hoping that will help.

Sunday lunch was ok (ish) DH found it hard I think, lots of noise going on etc. He was tied and wanted to go home at 4pm which was good as I thought we might have problems getting him to leave. But he is now overly protective of our house, won't let certain people in etc. He cancelled 2 crisis team visits doing the usual "I am OK" etc but I have had to threaten never to return and he has now seen them today too.

He has also been phoning DS's playgroup leader and hassling her about when half term is (WTF!)

He will see GP tomorrow and see what she says. I hate all this waiting for things to happen/go wrong. A friend of my mum's daughter is bi- polar and she says anti-pychotics normally take 3 weeks to start working...

Pwf - how did your DH get on at the doc's today? I can definately agree with being irritable here, think its the waiting and walking on egg shells that stresses me out TBH.

Myangels - so sorry to hear about your dad Hopefully with regards to your DH if he realises something is wrong he may take his medication... hears hoping!! Sorry to hear he is not so good though.

Mou - so sorry things are not good for you I find the lack of support in the medical profession astounding sometimes Hugs to you.

Notsoskinnynow - How are things today? One of the things that always rings alarm bells in my head is when DH says "you are stressing me, it's your fault" I find it very hard to seperate the DH I married and the DH that can be selfish, put himself before his DCs, and say horrible things It is very hard dealing with this and having very small Lo's I find it easier to deal with when Ds is around as he chats away and distracts me, but obviously I am not in same house as DH ATM.

Purplelostprincess - How are things for you ATM? Hope DH is managing to get some sleep.

Lupins71 - Has the new medication helped at all? My DH is going to be referred for councilling so would be interested to hear if it helps...

Peachy - My DH works shift work too which is part of the problem I think. Am definately starting to worry about money ie the mortgage and how it will be paid Have to get bum in gear and go to CAB. Guess I was hoping DH would not be ill for long, hears hoping...

A million thank yous to whomever started this thread. I have been at the end of my tether thinking that there is nowhere to go for people who have partners with mental illness. Not sure where to begin with my story - just hope that writing things down helps me to feel better. Excuse the ramblings, I am usually an articulate communicator but I'm just going to write what comes into my head and see how I feel.

Over the last four years, I have seen my DP turn from someone who is a pleasure to be with and the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with into a totally different person. He did have paranoid episodes before our DD was born 3 years ago, but now he has no friends and is totally disrespectful and selfish. I dread going out with him as he will be snappy to perfect strangers.

He is convinced our neighbours are taking photos of him, and also that the house is cold. We have a joint mortgage - and he keeps asking for his name to be taken off it - as he has this idea of going abroad to build another house and make lots of money. He hasn't worked for 3 years and whilst he sometimes says he is looking tends to put barriers in the way eg needs to be back to collect DD from childminder. Has taken up smoking again, and leaves the ends in the garden so it looks like an ashtray.

I am the breadwinner and sometimes work long hours. DD goes to fulltime childminder, but I get exasperated when I get home and he has done nothing all day - not even have a bath -let alone any housework.

Left earlier in the year for about 2 months and went abroad to stay with his mum. His family didn't really help as to talk to him he appears perfectly normal - apart from the rudeness. Now they apear to appreciate he is ill and what I have had to put up with on my own for all this time. He has said he is off many times, and I have managed to stop him. Tonight he said he would be gone tomorrow - and you know what I can't be bothered to talk him out of it. I am exhausted. The doctors are not much help - apart from giving me the phone number to Relate. He did go to psychiatrist once about 4 years ago, but now not keen to return as doesn't think anything wrong.

I'm at my wits end - I know he is ill so try and be patient. If it wasn't for DD would have given up long ago. She adores her dad - and he does the majority of the childcare. Whilst I know he would be the old DP if he would get medication I think I am making myself ill dealing this this day in day out.

I've just re-read this message and think I come over as a cold-hearted selfish person myself, but I have spent the last 3 years being considerate and now I just need to rant.

CHOOGIRL - so sorry you are going through this. It is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. Has your DP been given a diagnosis? BTW you do NOT come across as someone hard hearted at all, just at the end of your tether (like me!!)

I know what you mean about not having the energy anymore.. I feel like DH is sapping all my sanity/energy and there is nothing left for me

Keep posting, we are a great bunch!!

Hi all

Welcome Choogirl - so sorry to read your message - unfortunately it sounds so familiar to me (us all here, perhaps). I too know what its like to be at my wits end - you are not alone in feeling like you do. I hope you can get some help close to home - you shouldn't have to cope on your own, but the system doesn't help. We are here to send big hugs though..

My DH admitted to feeling suicidal last night about his jealous delusions (well, memories as he calls them) about me. He said he wouldn't do anything about it though (our brother in law comitted suicide 8 years ago and it affected DH, and the rest of us, very badly). I have to admit that I felt that him admitting feeling suicidal might help speed up his referrals to psychologist/family therapy if I tell my carer support about it on Thursday. What a terrible thing to think! Fancy being almost relieved that you DH was feeling suicidal. Am I that desperate?

Hugs to all

xx

You are not cold-hearted od selfish Choogirl, my situation very similar to yours, my H not diagnosed with anything but I feel like I am living with two people and never quite sure who is at home. He is very good at being upbeat for other people and saving the other stuff for home. And yes of course it makes you feel ill. H can be horrible to our DC's and I juggle trying to protect them and not upset him. When I said he needed to change as I have really had enough he ungraciously said 'i suppose i'll have to then'. But I have lost four stone, am on AD's and painkillers, suffer from insomnia, work part time, do most of the running around after the DC's.
My H has threatened to leave and sometimes I wonder why I stop him. He has started to drink again.. although not as much as he used to.

Simpson you are amazing, you remember everybodies detail, and you are going through so much yourself,..

I'm lucky my DC's are 10 and 5 and are at school...don't know how I would cope with a really LO.

Big big hugs and support to all especially the one who are going through so much more than me, you are all brave and beautiful ladies.

Hi all,
Choogirl, welcome. It's like you are writing about my life there! You really are not alone or selfish, and believe me, after only joining this thread a few days ago, already I feel better from just letting it out. I have jsut found the courage to tell one of my dearest friends about what's happening. So a big thanks to everyone on here...you have all helped just by being here. I have realised the huge benefit of having support so I am now going to look for some in the area. Talking really helps. DP made me feel as though this is something we must keep to ourselves, but now i realise that for my sanity, I need help. It's not just DP that's going through this.

Can I just ask though, is it "normal" for him to be paranoid? Last night, I was on my way to fill the car with diesel as I was meant to be taking a road trip today with DS to see some friends who are home from Australia for a few days. 4 hour drive each way, but I was really looking forward to spending time with friends. Anyway, long story short, I can't go. Was on way for diesel last night when I got a puncture. Middle of nowhere, pitch dark, on my own....fab! And to top it off, yes, youve guessed it, spare was flat too (DP having promised he'd got it fixed as we had another puncture 2 weeks ago)
Now he's got himself convinced that our landlord has been coming around damaging our tyres.admittadly relationship with landlord not great. we got behind in rent, council now helping but not fast enough, LL trying to kick us out and had "words" with dp, but now DP convinced that because that's twice in 2 weeks, LL responsible for stabbing our tyres.

I wish I had enough money to buy train ticket but have to buy 2 new tyres instead. could really have done with a night away.

but some good news today which made me smile.... DS has just rolled over on his own!! It's really funny to watch him. He's trying to crawl, but just looks like a goldfish out of his bowl, flapping about on the floor!

Hi all hope everyone is ok?

God talk about ups and downs....

Spent a couple of hours and my home today with DH and both Dcs and he was totally fine!! he has been discharged from crisis mental health team too. Hopefully the medication is kicking in now...

NotsoSkinnynow - go your LO!! My DD is 8mths and desperately trying to crawl. I just know anyday she will take off. Also my DH has been paranoid too, would not let anyone in house, had to be the "man" and protect it. He even got agitated when next doors 5yr old knocked for DS His latest rant (yesterday) was the doctor who saw him had the letters R.U.T.H in his name, which is my mum's name - he thought it was a sign

Mou - My DH likes a drink too and I think that is part of the problem. But he hasn't had anything for over a week now (so he says). I definately struggle to pretend everything is ok for Dcs but seem to have a lot more patience for DS, find having a very Lo tough sometimes...

Noangels - How are you today? How is your DH? Hope he has managed to get some help. The difference in my DH in 24hrs is AMAZING so medication (when they take it) is BRILLIANT!!

However I know there is a long way to go and things could crash down any minute. Still walking on egg shells waiting for a phonecall with him talking absolute rubbish/delusions etc but time will tell...

Hi Everyone

Thanks so much for your kind words, I feel so much better being able to share. Long story short, DD ended up in A&E today, she is absolutely fine now, but had a slight accident at pre-school. Dr not happy to release DD as DP seemed a bit strange and wouldn't speak. Once DD discharged I took opportunity to request duty pyschiatrist. After going through the lengthy protocol (triage then casualty doctor) finally got DP to speak to pyschatrist. Has now prescribed Citalopram and Olanzapine and after lots of persuading has agreed to go back to out patient clinic next week. Fingers crossed he takes the tablets as he just worries about the side effects. Thankfully he doesn't drink and isn't thinking of harming himself. One thing I was a bit surprised about is that I had to fill in a form for Dr to send to Social Services, they said it was normal for patients seen in A&E with mental health issues who are with children under 18. Anyone else seen this? DD is definitely not at risk.

Notsoskinnynow - It's not normal for him to be paranoid but occasionally he says things which he believes to be true, but are not - eg the neighbours taking photos. If you didn't know him you would think he was just being a bit grumpy.

Choogirl - what a worry for you over DD. Hope she is ok now. Have not heard of SS being involved TBH but think I might be lucky as DH a few days ago kept ringing DS's playgroup leader and saying odd things to her hassling her etc. Luckily she knows me and spoke to me first, otherwise God knows what would have happened.

Maybe now your DH will take the medication that he needs. Hpe medication does not have bad side effects for him and things improve, thinking of you...

Hi all and so sorry for being away for so long and not supporting you. Every time I logged on here it said there were no new messges on the thread, thinking this a bit odd I checked the thread tonight and there you all were!

Welcome to all the newbies, although your not so new now. Purple did a great thing setting up this thread, it's so obvious there are lots a=of people out there in similar situations needing somewhere to let off steam!

Let's see if I can catch up with you all, apologies if I miss anyone
Simpson/Lupins - yes the reason - always us that's the problem and never them. Before DH went intohospital he blamed me in an hour long 'chat' we had for all his current problems. Felt and still feel like shit about that. Keep telling myself it's not me it's him/the depression, but he hurt me so badly I can't get past it at the mo.

Myangels - sorry to hear about your dad. How are things going?

Notso - know how you feel about feeling like a single mum living with a stranger. That's exactly how I feel too.

Mou - sorry to hear there was no diagnosis when your DH visited the doctor. Did the drinking get mentioned? Did you go to or did he go on his own? If he went on his own do you thinkhe told the situation as it really was? Hugs to you for going through this with no definitive answer, but it all sounds so familiar there's got to be something going on with your DH. How's things now?

Purple - long time no hear how are you? Is your hip any better? How's your DH ding at the moment?

Choogirl - yes it's selfish. It makes me selfish too and I know I'm not depressed. DH just seems to go blindly along doing the stuff he wants to do without a care in the world (see my post about my only night out recently for evidence of selfish behaviour!!!!! grrrrr am still

Not much going on here at the moment. DH and I still not talking in any real sense of the word. I'm still hurt, angry and confused at his behaviour toward me before his admission and his brushing it aside when he gets home because he can't remember saying any of it. DS adores his daddy but DH gets stressy if things don't go the way he thinks they should eg DS still has afternoon nap and if DH takes him up at the weekend DS plays him something rotten, DH gets completely wound up and leaves DS in his room while he (DH) comes downstairs and paces around angrily. Ds is three I keep explaining, as well as being able to wind daddy up big time he is getting to an age when he doesn't need a nap. If he was at mursery rather than a CM he wouldn't be having a nap. DH just goes quiet. Still think about leaving, feeling like a single mum I sometimes think I might just as well be one. As we've discussed before he's not the man I married and I can't be arsed to tiptoe around while he plays the wounded soldier. Too far away from civilisation at the moment for that to be a real option though! I'm rambling and not making much sense so I'll stop now, my thoughts are all over the place tinight.

Hugs and thoughts to you all. And if I missed anyone in the support bit above - apologies- I do hope everyone is finding the support they need to get through their situations. It's so good to know we are not alone.

Take care all, keep xxxxx

HI all

I hope everyone is keeping ok??

Not too bad ATM but the main problem I am having is DH wants/expects everything to be ok just because he is feeling better and he does not realise the damage he has done

DS gave him a REALLY hard time yesterday obviously he (DS) feels "abandoned". Sometimes I wish I was 3 and could sink to the floor and scream if unhappy!! DH coped with it very well though!!

DH wants me to move back in but I can't forget the nights he screamed/bullied me at 3/4 am for hours and expected me to get up and look after his kids and when we stayed in Ireland (where DH is from - we went there to introduce DD who was totally ignored, but that is a different story!!) he flung me across the room in front of his mother who saw it all but then later said she didn't see a thing!! (poisonous woman!)he just puts it down to "I wasn't myself" but that doesn't make it ok does it??

Hi Simpson

No it doesn't make it all OK. I know where you are coming from with that but the DHs never seem to realise. It's a very handy 'excuse' sometimes. I have had it from DH and am still not happy about all the things he said to me before his admission to hospital. His reply on returning home and me laying down what he had said was 'i'm sorry but I can't remember anything that happened before I went into hospital'. Except that's not right - he still remembers all the supposed slights against him by me and others! It seems that his memory is selective and I hate it, it makes me very angry and I still find myself unable to forgive him.

At the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right for yourself and your DCs. I've been told this numerous times, but it doesn't make the decision any easier.

Hugs to all xxx

Oh well. Four days on and DP still hasn't taken the tablets. Unfortunately he looked on the internet and has looked at the doom and gloom sites that cite the side effects. Hopefully he will keep the outpatient appointment on Friday.

Hi all

DH has just rung me after his first appt as an out patient and the guy he saw said he can come off the anti psychotic tablets!! Surely that can't be right!! WTF,he has only been stable for not even a week I have persuaded him to take them until he sees GP next week.

He has also seen occupational health person this afternoon and she thinks he is fit to restart work on 21st. We shall see...

Am planning to spend the night at home tomorrow as a trial run with both DCs, but not planning to go home permanently yet. Maybe not till half term but stay every tues night or something.

There is still a long way to go and DH says he doesn't need councilling etc that I can help him!! Like I don't have enough pressure. I do feel like his mother sometimes...

empressorchid - funny how their memory is selective isn't it!! I get this ALL the time...

CHOOGIRL - sorry to hear your DP is not yet taking the tablets. Hope appt on Friday goes well. Its hard enough without the so called "experts" telling my DH he doesn't need his medication any more!! Luckily because he has tablets in the house, I think/hope he will listen to me...

Hi

Just checking in to see how everyone is, thinking of you all....

Hi all

Simpson - sorry to hear about your DP and his appt. It's so hard when the experts say yes stop tsking the meds and you know they still them. It makes me wonder what the OHs are saying to the experts. I hope he keeps taking them til he sees the doc, but then he may well convince the GP that he is OK, so be prepared for that. If you don't know what is being said to these experts, you don't know what they are basing their decisions on! It's so hard and I feel for you At least my DH realises he has to take the meds, although I'm not looking forward the time when DH decides he doesn't need them. His CPN said three to six months on the meds and I just KNOW DH will stop at 6 months! Hope all goes/went well with the sleepover DH also leveled the 'you're here to help me' thing at me. I said last time I tried to help him he hurt me so much I really don't want to lay myself open to that again, so far we've skirted around it. But he has a CPN and regular meets with the GP to help him cope, it's all I can do to keep the house running and work myself.

Choogirl - sorry to hear your DP hasn't taken the meds - the internet can be a real pain in the ass at times I hope all goes well with the appt tomorrow.

My DH has now got an injured achilles tendon (rest and elevate) and today had root canal work done (LOL) so I'm not getting any peace on any front!!!

Chins up all, big hugs xx