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At breaking point with parenting; have lost hope of it getting better

3 replies

kettlesonnow · Yesterday 17:08

I have posted about this before but not on this board. I don’t know how anybody can help me (so if I seem to be saying no a lot please don’t take that personally) but I need to reach out.

Basically I feel I made an absolutely huge mistake when we decided to have a second child and this haunts me almost daily. I have read threads on this and most seem to be from women with the youngest child aged under one, so things are still shaky. For us, well, we’re nearly three years in and it’s still fucking awful!

My two are five and nearly three. Apart, they are OK … definitely not perfect but manageable.

Together they are unmanageable and I have really tried to follow the advice and read the books and it hasn’t made any difference at all and I’m still miserable.

They work one another up, they won’t leave one another alone, if one is happy and playing quietly the other intervenes to ensure that ends. They become different people around one another and people who in all honesty aren’t very nice. I am frequently mortified by their behaviour to be honest and I’m conscious that makes me tense up and things more likely to go wrong.

I am now at the point where it isn’t advice on parenting I need but how the hell I can survive this without becoming someone I dislike too. I’ve become irritable and tense, impatient and easy to anger. I’m also absolutely filled with regret for the life I could have known. And I know I need to get past this because I can’t do anything about it now, but I just can’t.

OP posts:
Twisterlollies · Yesterday 17:10

I’m there with you. I don’t regret DS but the fighting, complaining, competition between them and just the mega stress of supervising constantly to ensure they’re not battering each other is so far from the ‘but they’ll play with each other’ scenario I anticipated when I had a 2nd.

I’m exhausted.

kettlesonnow · Yesterday 17:14

Thanks @Twisterlollies . It’s awful the way situations you can’t foresee somehow ruin the day or evening. Today ds came out of school with sweets from another child as it was their birthday. Cue dd whining she wants them. Tell ds to put them in his bag and have them later. Of course he ignores me and gets them out anyway. Dd screaming and charging around the house after ds wanting sweets; ds cackling manically and winding her up.

Sometimes I really wish I was parenting in the 1980s and I could give the pair of them a bloody big smack as I’m sick of it.

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kettlesonnow · Yesterday 17:57

I’m so unhappy tonight. I wish I knew what to do. I saw my GP a few weeks ago and I wish I hadn’t bothered. I wish I could get myself into a more positive frame of mind but I can’t. All I can see are the tears ahead filled with screaming and yelling and conflict and then eventually they’ll both leave home without happy memories of their childhood,

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