Parents and carers of anxious teens(part 8)

[MinionKevin]

Started a new thread as I can see previous OP hadn’t been on for a while.

Link to previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/4970868-parents-and-carers-of-anxious-teenspart-7?page=40

If you believe in "vibes" as dd would say please send good ones to my older dd x

@destiel00
Lots of good vibes to older DD.
One way or the other, she will figure it out.
Whilst you bite all your nails and lose all your hair!!!

@MinionKevin glad she was smiling. If the teacher says it was hard, it was hard
Well done to her
Xx

I'm tearing my hair out re: older dd atm! 😖

AQA one of her friends told her he enjoyed it, he’s aiming for a 9 though.

we only have 2 left and she’s okay about both of them.

Dd did edexcel
Said it was ok
Geography was a groan (dh told her it might have gone better if she had revised!)

Sending good vibes to all x

So...maths paper 3 tomorrow
Not much revision done 🤷‍♀️
She has spent the evening making gifts for her friends. Sigh.
Older dd exhausted and fed up...she'll never please her mentor so not sure where she goes from here.
I have a long day tomorrow for a hospital appointment so am feeling angsty.
Hope everyone is ok x

I think if you don’t know maths by now you aren’t going to learn it last minute. DD only did half an hour with me though! I haven’t pushed the revision that much. Just hoping she gets enoug to pass and concentrate on a levels instead.

Yeah, that's where I am, really, too.
She'll be SO disappointed if she has to resit, though.
Sigh.
Best of luck to your dd tomorrow 🍀

Hang in there GCSE gang.
End is in sight
Xx

Hospital appointment went ok in that there is no change.
Early start so I'm going to have a nap!

Dd 17 is struggling with social anxiety. It’s been constant since she was about 12. She manages interactions with people in shops, teachers etc but struggled with her peers. She has a couple of friends that she can chat to ok and goes out with them about once a month which is great but she finds it so hard to speak to others at college. Group work is a nightmare for her and unfortunately none of her friends are in any of her classes so she feels lonely and isolated. She says she is having physical symptoms of anxiety like tummy pains, headache and her whole body aches. Once she’s home it seems to fade away very quickly. We’ve sought a referral for an autism diagnosis at the go but that takes time and won’t be a magic pill to take the anxiety away. I did hope that the transition from school to college would be a transformation and while she is far, far happier this is still a major issue for her. I’m running out of ideas to help and can’t continue saying wait until you meet your tribe and things will improve as you get better. We paid for a private psychologist a few years ago which helped but again didn’t solve the issue and she is reluctant to try again. I’ve suggested she reach out to her welfare team at college.

I'm sorry your dd is struggling.
Definitely talk to the pastoral team at the College

@littlelottie83 sorry to hear.
My DD is the same age and I think it's so hard with everything going on. School, social lives future plans and so on.
I hope she can get some help. Does she take any medication?

thank you for your kind words everyone.
we managed a good chat last night… it seems to strange that she can be so articulate, well balanced and confident at home and with her siblings and struggle to such an extent with her peers. She thinks they are judging her negatively all the time and unfortunately hasn’t had positive experiences to counterbalance this. I don’t know whether she just picks the
wrong’ people to chat to or it’s bad luck or she just gives off ‘bad vibes.’ I’ve told her that things won’t always be like this and asked what she’d like to do next… I suggested she think about it and then come back in the next few days to talk about a plan.
she isn’t on any medication and I don’t think she’d like that but will add it to our things to chat about.
thank you everyone x

@littlelottie83 it is hard isn't it? I am glad she feels able to talk to you about it. We've also been through this and things do get better although perhaps at a much slower pace than we'd all like!

Thank you for telling me that things do get better. We seem stuck in a moment at the present time and just can’t see a time when this is different.
What sort of things helped your young person to improve?

There isn't any one thing but instead lots of small steps in the right direction. The steps are so gradual that now we are in an easier place, I honestly can't believe we made it through the really difficult times. But before I paint some unrealistic rosy picture, things can still be hard and we have periods where we go backwards. Things that helped - a diagnosis adhd/asd, medication for adhd, the end of school, doing a subject she loves at University and me learning to listen and not just bombard her with suggestions/advice (unless she asks for it). There have been plenty of other things which may have slightly helped or did nothing but burn a hole in our wallet which I won't list. I wish I could give you something more concrete but can only offer you our experiences.

Thank you x

DD has finished school and now we are off until September. She is driving me bananas. I know it’s not her fault. It’s too long for someone like her not to have structure and activity.
We have days out etc planned, stuff with friends, but not till next week when everyone else is free.
she has to be occupied all the time - and currently can’t think of anything to do. I can’t think of anything either!

Omg, I feel for you!
Dd has one more exam tomorrow then that's it and shes spent today lolloping around sadly 🙄😬
My patience is going to be sorely tested this summer 😫

It’s far too long to be off. I imagine even if you didn’t have issues it would be hard. I always had my nose stuck in a book but I remember being desperately bored.

Me too, exactly.
I lived at the library but was bored rigid after 3/4 weeks

Last exam today!
Poor older dd has 2 weeks left and is running on fumes 😔
Dr has doubled my AD dose so hopefully it might help.

Sigh.
Anxiety already raising its head for dd.