Parents and carers of anxious teens(part 8)

[MinionKevin]

Started a new thread as I can see previous OP hadn’t been on for a while.

Link to previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/4970868-parents-and-carers-of-anxious-teenspart-7?page=40

Morning.
Hope you're all OK.
Dd off to do a few hours paid work today (first time) and I think she's looking forward to it.
She's keen to go to school on monday which is good.
No idea how we are going to navigate the summer holidays tbh...she seems to spiral when not busy?
Any ideas/tips?...we have a weeks holiday booked in July.
Older dds bf arriving later today til sunday 🙄
Must tackle my huge ironing pile!

@destiel00
Glad DD is feeling better.
Holidays are something that really cause upset for DD.
She doesn't know what to do and sadly has no hobbies.
I do notice she spirals from the lack of structure
She does have a small part time job but really hard getting more hours at this age.
We have a long summer too as college finish by end of June.
This is our 3rd summer since her MH tanked so in a sad way at least I know what to expect.
She was looking at gyms yesterday so fingers crossed she will sign up (and actually bloody go for a change!)

Would DD consider volunteering?

I think she would
I'm also going to chat to dh later and try and come up with ideas for volunteering, paid work etc
We only have a week away booked atm.
At only 16 shes a limited to hours I think

We signed dd up to the gym but she didn't go :(

Dd said she enjoyed it at work
She could get some voluntary hours too possibly over summer
She's going to pils with dh later
I dunno
It's a rollercoaster

Yep the ride none of us want to be on!

@Okisenough
Definitely!

Dd had a photo shoot today for a friends photography btec
She seemed to enjoy it
No plans for the rest of today though
I might get dh to take her out somewhere
I feel ill...sore throat, ear ache etc
Think I'm just run down

How's everyone doing?
One of our neighbours dc has bought a sports car of some sort and has spent the last 2 days revving the engine. He doesn't even live there!
Dd was up very early today but has eaten breakfast.
She has her hobby group later on.
Back at school tomorrow and more exams on the horizon.
Counselling tomorrow, too.
We plod on

DD has 4 exams left. She is on early study leave so only needs to be in here and there. Then we have a very long summer holiday. So no breaks for me.
i wish there was something to her to do outside the home. Her friends are going to come round though and we have some day trips planned at least.

@MinionKevin
I'm worried about the summer holidays and so is dd tbh
She has lots of friends but seems very adverse to arranging anything with them 🤷‍♀️
She has 11 weeks with a week away so 2.5 months to fill 😬
Then older dd may have even longer 🙃
I'm feeling quite low about it
Dh is away with work again soon so just hoping everything is OK til he gets back
I'm spending a lot of time listening to comedy podcasts and audiobooks atm as my attention span is wrecked

Well.
Back to school today for dd.
Older dd back on placement and dreading it.
Dd has counselling later...I hope it helps her :(

Dd said talking to the counsellor helped yesterday.
I also got an email from school - they are applying for special consideration for her exams...I didn't even consider this was a possibility but it might help as she wasn't able to revise at all last week 😔

@destiel00 glad about the special considerations. Hope they help lessen DDs anxiety?
Not long left to those doing the dreaded exams.
Though I do understand the worries about lack of structure over the long summer

We are chugging along..it is draining as we have started private family therapy. It is brutal but I am hoping it helps in some tiny way.
Part of me thinks DD needs to live away for some time for us all of to appreciate and understand each other
But we know she isn't ready for it though am sure she would love it to be honest.
She has mocks mid June and claims she is studying hard. Where I don't know..as I always find her on the bed watching Netflix or Disney. Rest of the time she is at bf's house.
Oh well. I cannot do anything about things I have no control of

Xx

@DarkChocHolic
I think you and I have come to the same realisation x
I've done all I can for both dds so it's on them now.
It's hard - probably the hardest part of parenting for me so far - to watch them self sabotage but perhaps there is a valuable lesson in there somewhere?
Older dds bf is visiting again in a couple of weeks so I shall plaster on a smile 😬

@DarkChocHolic good luck with the family therapy. I think it will be helpful even though it is hard.

Yes I have been saying that a lot to myself lately. DD is an adult now and I have to take a step back and allow her to live her life. It's a bit of a rollercoaster here due to a health setback. DD is very upset and is catastrophising about it all. And although I am supporting her and I do know that with time things will improve, I am not stepping in trying to solve things for her. Instead I am allowing her to be sad despite the fact it's really hard for me to watch.

Older dd is very unhappy and stressed

She has a make or break meeting today re: her course
She has made her life a lot harder than it needed to be, bf hasnt helped - she's finally listening to dh and I, but I think it's too little too late
Dd has 3 exams today but seemed OK....I don't really know anymore
So a very stressful day ahead

Absolute trauma getting DD for GCSE English exam. I can’t believe she’s in it. Unfortunately because it’s coincided with Eid, there are staff off so she can’t have a 1:1.
Im just going to sit and look at my phone for 2 hours and hope it doesn’t ring.

Sending a cup of tea and biscuit to you both x

@Okisenough
Sorry to hear about the health set back.
However, glad to note that things will get better eventually.
Yup, they are responsible for their physical, mental health and happiness
DD had her vitals taken few days ago and she is now obese as per the charts.
They have offered her an appointment with weight management clinic which she refused.
She just cannot acknowledge nothing can change until she is ready.
I am so worried she will end up with type 2 diabetes.
Nothing I can do but shut up and look away

@MinionKevin
((Hugs))
I'm phone and clock watching,
too
I've just had a flapjack
Didn't really sleep last night so I might habe a nap

@DarkChocHolic
It's so, so hard
Thinking of you x

@MinionKevin
Hope she comes back happy
Well done for going to the exam
We know how difficult it is.

Came out with a smile on her face and said it was terrible. Teachers said it was hard too. But it’s done. Good luck @destie100

Another one down @MinionKevin!
Which board did she sit?