Parents and carers of anxious teens(part 8)

[MinionKevin]

Started a new thread as I can see previous OP hadn’t been on for a while.

Link to previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/4970868-parents-and-carers-of-anxious-teenspart-7?page=40

Hope everyone is ok?
We are plodding along here...
Dd has been on half term and is doing some coursework (albeit quite late into the evening 🙄...)
She's supposed to be meeting friends later this week, so I hope that happens
Older dd is doing supply and seems to be enjoying it
It suddenly feels very autumnal! 🍂🍁

We are here..plodding along too..thankfully 2 weeks half term for DD who finds school hard and holidays hard. No winning!!
Atleast she cooked today and went for a 10 min walk.
I take the little wins.
We have seen a private psychiatrist and done genetic testing and the results revealed 2 out of the 3 meds she is on are not the best ones for her. We will have to change meds soon and I am not looking forward to it to be honest.
Trying to see the silver lining that atleast the test revealed something and maybe this will work. She has been so low past few weeks we were again picked up by crisis team after visit to a&e. Atleast no OD this time and for that I am grateful.

@destiel00
Glad older DD is enjoying supply. Hope she is able to make something out of it for the future. And glad DD is doing coursework. Mine has not touched a book in weeks..

Hope everyone is doing ok.
Xx

@DarkChocHolic
I really hope the testing leads to more suitable meds for your dd.
Sorry to hear of the A&E visit xx
Holidays are tricky aren't they?
Dd had some plans last week that didn't work out, which wasn't ideal.
She's said no to shopping (fine by me, I hate it..), no to meal out, no to cinema...sigh
We plod on...
Love to all x

Hello everyone, just checking in.
Hope you are all well.

@DarkChocHolic
That's interesting about meds testing, I've never heard of that, what's it called does test have a specific name, how did you get it?
DD has reduced her Quitiapine as she seemed stable but is now struggling again, not sure if it's the return after half term term, the dark mornings etc but honestly I'm getting fed up of having to cajole her to do anything, well I say anything, she is planning to go to thorpe park with a friend on Saturday which is massive, and will wipe her out for days afterwards but will be amazing if she does it.
She's doing a levels and tbh she isn't putting in the effort, isn't self motivated, procrastinates and I'm stuck in the middle between her tutors and her, keep getting texts saying can you make sure x does this or brings y, frankly it's beyond my control!
It's exhausting and tbh I'm fed up with texts from tutors and DDs apathy.
It's just bloody hard work and frustrating!!
I'm about to wake her up again...
I've even booked a day off work to do a course on PDA that one of her tutors has organised. I hope it's going to come with a free magic wand!
CAMHS discharged her just before her 18th birthday but GP isn't happy about adjusting meds and referred her to adult MH services, which is now worrying DD. She also had a slightly abnormal blood test which she needs to repeat so is worrying about that too. She is a bit of a hypocondriac and doesn't do well with any illness or her body feeling different, even a mild cold.

We’re okay. Just holiday issues and finding things to do. A friend has cancelled on her and if she hadn’t I think we would have been fine.

@Runnerduck34
DD is the same with A levels and the amount of work going in. I am fed up and wish she would just drop but then she is miserable doing nothing. Work isn't giving her enough hours, her friends are busy and bf has a job during the week. She is just aimlessly wandering at home during half term. Feels like I am having to look after a toddler all over again.

Regarding testing, we went to a private psychiatrist at the priory for meds review as DD is discharged from camhs and no adult services support. As you experienced our GP does not want to touch her meds but will prescribe it.
The consultant told us about pharmacogenetic testing. He explained it is useful to understand how she metabolises psychotropic meds as from his experience ND folks have different metabolism. He said rather than burning through one SSRI after another this would give an indication. We took our chances and went with it. It was expensive around 1250 and not covered by insurance. The test itself is very simple. They send the kit home and we send a cheek swab. The lab analyses and a geneticist reviews the results and shares his input with the psychiatrist.
In DDs case the report showed she doesn't metabolise SSRIs well. Only 40percent efficacy and the side effects out weigh the benefits. This was spot on with our experience on fluoxetine and then now sertraline. The test also showed she has lower risk of weight gain on quetiapine. She was put on aripriprazole rather than quetiapine as she is overweight already. We were told quetiapine is the better drug but we didn't risk it back then. Now we know, we may swap her to SNRI and quetiapine slowly. Test also revealed she metabolises ADHD meds well which matches our experience.
I am not looking forward to meds change but atleast we now know 2 of her 3 meds are not right for her.
The report also explained how the combined pill DD is on doesn't work with her other meds which was interesting too.
If the meds change work, it will be the best money I have spent. However, i would rather DD not be on any of these meds in the first place but we are here unfortunately.
I hope you get some help with your DD and her medication.

Xx

Dd has a friend coming today (was supposed to be last week) then hobby group tonight.
I think she's planned too much for friday, but we'll see...
No shifts at work here, either. She's going to ask at a local cafe if they have any shifts going.
Weather awful which doesn't help

@DarkChocHolic
Thank you that's really helpful.
And you're right sometimes it is like looking after a toddler and it's exhausting!
@MinionKevin
Sorry to hear DDs friend cancelled, half terms can be hard, especially if friends are thin on the ground.
@destiel00
I hope DD enjoys half term and copes, it's great when they plan social things but often comes at a price, I suspect DD will take days to recover from thorpe park.

I'm impressed that some of your DDs have jobs, although understand the irregularity of shifts can be challenging, at the moment I can't imagine DD being able to hold down a job and reliably go to work.

Well.
Things were going pretty well...
Dd has had a pretty full on week with social stuff then work yesterday.
She had a "couple" of drinks at the party on Saturday.
Last night the nausea and vomiting returned.
She's just asked me for one of her anti anxiety meds ☹️
I just don't know.
She's at counselling tomorrow.
She has been off college for a while (2 week half term here and an inset day on her first scheduled day back..) so it may be anxiety due to that?
She's worked over the half term so she's not behind or anything.
I feel terrible because I just don't have anything left to give ☹️

@destiel00
May be the exhaustion from the busy week socialising and the back to the grind thoughts.
It's good she is able to come and ask for help. It will over time get better.
Hopefully once college routine starts it will all be normal again.
DD went back today after what seemed forever. Just realised she hardly did a full week the previous term

Thanks @DarkChocHolic
I'm just quite worn down I think

Dd has decided to drop her hobby activity - for a while, anyway - as she's really not been enjoying it lately.
First day back at college today, and it seems to have gone well.

Bumping this as it’s gone quiet. We are in a good run, 100% attendance and went to a parents evening where DD is on track for top marks in her A levels/BTECs.
Her autism assessment starts next week, hoping it goes well this time as I think we need it going forward.

Hi @MinionKevin
Such a great update, very pleased for your dd - and for you x
Not much to report here, really.
Dd had a blip over half term (she had nearly 2.5 weeks off - it was too long) but seems ok atm - she's
enjoying her course, making friends.
Hoping christmas /NY isn't going to trigger her (she was in a really bad place end of December/ January) 🙏
Hope everyone else is ok x

It's been quiet with the odd blow up but just listening and not trying to fix. Even though at times it's really really hard not to give advice or try to offer a practical solution as in the heat of it, it can feel so awful and upsetting. But there is definitely value in letting them rant and process/regulate their own emotions. We are slowly moving in the right direction and I am finding some peace for myself in accepting that situation.

Hoping everyone else has been able to enjoy some calm moments. @MinionKevin good luck with the assessment.

Dd just left for a party
She gets very tetchy before any social event and it really irritates me 😬
Sigh
Hopefully she'll have a good time 🙏

Hello everyone.
So pleased things are going well @MinionKevin
Good luck for Autism assessment this week.
@destiel00
I hope DD enjoyed the party, even going to the party is massive!
Mine also always gets really anxious before something like this and can easily tip into meltdown.

Talking of meltdowns I think I'm having one too!
Got an email this morning for DDs annual review, meeting in exactly 3 weeks time.
It's due so have been half expecting an email but (big) part of me hoped it wasn't going to be kicked into long grass!
I actually felt sick reading the email and had heart palpitations ffs!
And so here we go again.......
And 3 weeks notice to organise professional annual review reports and secure their attendance is no time at all....
Aargh!!!!

@Runnerduck34
Hope the review goes well. What a pain to have to manage all the admin side of things. As if, the parents have nothing less to do!
Hopefully once it's done you get a breather for a bit.

@MinionKevin pleased that DD is doing so well at college. They just need something to click and then it all somehow works. May that last long.

@destiel00 hope DD enjoyed the party and you weren't waiting for her message or call. I have had a few of those parties and I used to be on alert mode it was crazy. Things are better on that front atleast now as DD seems to have easier friends who don't party as much!!
@Okisenough glad you are able to notice the differences in being able to step back and hold back the words..I had one of those moments yesterday. I could have let it rip at DD as I was mad. But then when she started to explain etc I just said you do what you need to do and I actually meant it in a good way (not as if I care two hoots). That helped me stay calm in a situation I could have REALLY put my foot in and jiggled about .
School/studies still challenge for DD. I have accepted A levels will be a car crash.
She is slightly better mood wise which I am grateful for.
We see a new adult psych this week who may start her own new meds and then it will all go tits up I am sure for sometime.
Roller coaster eh...
Xx

@DarkChocHolic
Rollercoaster indeed!
I'm glad you are finding it easier to step back - not something I'm good at, sadly.
Dd was fine after the party...Just back from counselling.
No meltdown/fomo last week on her hobby night...I was half expecting her to be in a state and regretting her decision but so far she's happy with it.

Another night of nausea for dd...hoping she won't throw up.
She just can't seem to grasp that not getting enough sleep and not eating at college makes her feel ill ☹️
I'm so, so tired of repeating myself.
I feel like a broken record ☹️
Everytime I think a step forward is taken, she takes 2 back.
Sigh.

@destiel00
Sorry to hear!
Hope DD is ok...
Bloody hard when they don't listen. But then that's what teens do:-(
Why won't she eat at college?

No idea...there's a canteen, coffee shops, a saisburys, macdonalds...
I'm getting quite irritated by it, tbh
She can take fruit, snack bars etc from home...
When she does eat, its rubbish like a cookie from Starbucks...in a whole day!
Then she wonders why she feels sick 🙄

@destiel00i also struggle to get DD to eat, but she has a very limited diet. If you are lucky she will eat a packet of crisps. Thankfully her timetable is very morning heavy so she is home for late lunch.

Hi 👋
Hope you're all ok?
Any tips/advice for dd who has yet again come home from college tired, hungry, nauseated and with a headache? 🙄
I've told her so many times she needs to eat regularly, and they and go to bed earlier
I'm really annoyed with her...I've sent her to bed to try and stave off vomiting and migraine ☹️

Could you try buying a few different things to try, cereal bars, babybel etc. hard when they won’t help themselves.