Parents and carers of anxious teens(part 8)

[MinionKevin]

Started a new thread as I can see previous OP hadn’t been on for a while.

Link to previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/4970868-parents-and-carers-of-anxious-teenspart-7?page=40

Struggling with friendship issues here. It seemed to be going so well. We’ve had many tears.
One of the girls has gotten in with another friendship group and frankly has just been mean and causing issues. No need for it.

@MinionKevin
Friendship issues are the pits.
Why do some kids have to be so vile?

@MinionKevin sending you and your dd lots of love. It's so crap and so little we can actually do about it.

It’s better today and it’s one particular girl behaving badly. Silly lies and playing one group off against another. If she just behaved she could have 2 nice friendship groups, no one cares she has other friends. They just don’t being lied to and messed about. It’s her loss it’s just DD wants everyone to be friends and have fun this summer.

It'll probably backfire on the girl @MinionKevin

A friend text me earlier...her dd is going up to secondary in September...
A parent was shouting at her dd on the street because her dd was with someone this parent says bullies her dd!
😳
I'm so glad the secondary school years are behind me!

Hope everyone is doing ok?
We've had some sad (but not unexpected) news about dhs uncle today.
Dd seems ok, doing art projects

@destiel00
Sorry to hear about DH's uncle.
Hope DH is coping ok?
Xx

@DarkChocHolic
Yes. He's ok. It was expected amd that side of the family weren't close but it's still sobering iyswim?
We are at the age where we seem to be going to a lot of funerals :(

Well DD tried to go out for the friends and it was a disaster. I shouldn’t be surprised as half the time I take her somewhere we come straight home anyway.
Shes also struggling as she is so emotionally backward compared to her friends, she just isn’t ready to grow up yet. I really hope she meets someone in 6th form or grows closer to someone who is less interested in parties/drinking/boys.
It always shows to me that she’s nowhere near ready to leave home at 18, I can’t even get her to be away from me overnight just now anyway.

@MinionKevin
Your dd sounds like my elder dd.
She is summer born and (imo) is nd.
Wouldn't leave me, either for sleepovers, trips etc
She's always - eventually - found her "tribe" and has groups of lovely friends from 6th form and uni who accept her for who she is.
She's currently away with uni friends and they are doing things like escape rooms, pub quizzes and bike rides :)
None of them are party kids and they are all quite "nerdy" (I mean that in the best possible way. I'm a nerd, too!)
I think leaving secondary and getting to a bigger pool of potential friends and more diverse people is key.
I hope its the same for your dd x

Thanks @destiel00thats what I am hoping. I know there are others like her out there, it’s just putting them together.

Yes. And it can feel like a very long and upsetting wait x

@MinionKevin we've all been there with our dcs. It is so so so hard to watch. I hope that 6th form provides her with a bigger variety of people and hopefully her tribe. I made the mistake of being persuaded (against my gut feeling) to let my dd stay on at her school's 6th form, my dh kept saying everyone will be more mature!!! But they are still the same people you don't like! Anyway water under the bridge now. Friendship is one of those things that is really out of our control once primary is over. All we can do is be there to listen and then hope. x

In case I forget...
Best of luck to all dc getting their gcse results next week 🍀
Hope any dc who sat A levels got what they wanted x
(Sorry, brain is fried atm...)

Hope everyone is doing ok?
I think nerves are starting to hit for dd...
She's pretty busy up to Thursday though, so 🤞
It's cooler here today, thank God.

@destiel00 and others waiting for results
Good luck and hope you are relieved and happy on Thursday.
The wait is the killer. I remember having to wake DD up and dragging her into school.
Xx

I’m worried that DH won’t make the requirements for a level. I have been given the impression that there is some wriggle room the email I just had makes it almost impossible for her to make the requirements because she did reduced GCSES!
3 days…

It's nerve wracking for sure

@MinionKevin
I know some schools are much more strict on A levels. Colleges seem more relaxed.
DD went to a grammar which needed 7s if she wanted to do the subject at A level. She also needed a pass in others.
Other schools have a requirement of 7 in addition to a certain average on remaining subjects.
Did your DDs school give her an offer on reduced subjects?
I can imagine they being strict on needing a certain minimum for the A level subjects but they cannot penalise her if she did reduced GCSEs.
It will all work out eventually. Though the wait can be such a nightmare.

Older dd went to to a FE college and needed 7s in her A level choice subjects and 5s in English Language and Maths.
Dd has chosen a 2 year btec instead so needs 5 x 4s.

it says she needs 5 GCSEs at level 4. She only did 5. One of those she did entirely on her own with no help so we have no idea whether she will pass (English). She should be okay on the rest.
they do offer something else for those who fail but she wants to be with her friends.
her plan is to do 2 BTECs and an A level (Art). I’m just hoping they let her go ahead and do the resit class for English if that doesn’t work out.
If only she’d been able to do one more it would take the pressure off

The subjects she’s doing she’ll get a 8/9 at gcse.

DD restarted Y12 from grammar to FE college. She was allowed to pick a subject for A level which she had a 5 in GCSE. Bad idea!!!!
I think many schools insist on a certain grade for A level because of the level of difficulty in A level.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is each school or college is different and they have their own entry requirements.
I would double check and make sure you have any emails or special circumstances discussions ready to argue your case. Hopefully not needed.
Fingers crossed

Cross posted @MinionKevin
Ignore my.prebious email