To go off sick until this happens with nursery?

[Inpww]

I have been struggling loads with working full time with my 2.5 year old. I’m on my own mostly and she sees her dad once a week. He won’t do more, I’ve tried a lot.

I just can’t carry on keeping on top of everything and feeling well. I started taking anxiety medication this month and I’m slowly building up the dose but it’s making me feel a bit shit even though I want to stick with it. I’m just done. I haven’t had a day off in years. My job is incredibly demanding and I don’t really want to lose the income but I almost feel if I don’t go off sick then I will lose my job anyway as I’m just not juggling everything well at all.

I wanted to go off sick until dd gets the free 30 hours in September so that if I then continue to struggle with work I can easily go down to part time without financial worry. If I went down to part time now then I would struggle financially. I have a good sickness policy so would get full pay until July then just have August on statutory sick pay. I’ve never been off sick before (literally except one day 4 years ago!) and so I don’t know how easy it would be to do this. I know my GP is supportive of the anxiety I have felt and which has increased hugely recently hence the medication.

I feel so alone and don’t know what to do.

Sick pay isn't so you don't have to work until you don't have to look after a child.

This isn’t a viable plan. I don’t know what is but you cannot take six months sick leave fraudulently.

If you go down to PT now would you be eligible for UC?

You should probably consider a few weeks off if your anxiety prevents you from coping at work; however, as far as long-term sickness goes, I completely agree with the previous poster. It is not what sickness pay is for.

I could be wrong but any GP signing you off would have to consider whether 7 months is necessary. In all honesty, work sounds inconvenient for you rather then you needing to be off sick.

@JimHalpertsWife i am not sure, I haven’t checked but I don’t think so. I think part time would reduce my income to around 35k.

You’ll be managed out.
That’s if any doctor would actually agree to sign you off for six months just to make your life easier.

No decent GP will sign you off for 6 months now. I'm not sure if it's even allowed - when I've had periods of sick leave for mental health, it's only ever been for a couple of weeks at a time before the letter has to be renewed. And what happens if you start to feel a lot better in a month? Would you go back to work or stay on sick leave until September still?

I just don’t know what to do.

I don’t feel able to cope with work full time and managing dd alone full time too. I have no help from family. It’s literally all on me and I can’t do my job like this. I feel like I might lose my job anyway at the rate things are going.

It sounds to me like you really need some time away from work to deal with your anxiety, and pronto.

You sound understandably worried about the process of getting signed off, having not done it before, but don’t be concerned. You have said your GP is understanding. Go back and see plain that you are completely overwhelmed and need space and time to adjust to your meds. There won’t be an issue with this at all. Expect a couple of weeks at a time to be given so that the GP can see you again and keep an eye on you.

MN is always horrible to anyone who they perceive is trying to ‘work the system’ to their advantage so just ignore those remarks. Bloody hell, working life is tough enough as it is.

Take care and I hope you feel better soon x

Can you go to a 4 day week but keep your child in nursery full time? That would give you a day to get stuff done/go back to bed depending on what you needed. It is really really hard. I would book a couple of days off next week and take some time to really think about what is causing the most stress and what you can do.

Do you get UC help now with the nursery costs? I think you'd be entitled as a single parent.

Can you arrange with her dad to have her more often in the Week?

Speak to your manager, see if they can help somehow. Talk to people.

Then you need to think about finding another job which you can manage.

@MrsTigerface thank you. I didn’t expect people to think I was trying to play the system as I’ve never had time off before, I’m genuinely just not coping. I’m worried if I go off sick for anxiety related reasons that social services would be involved and this is making me hesitant to be honest with my Gp.

you’re trying to work full time with a toddler and no childcare??

There are a lot of options between taking fraudulent sick leave, and working full time at such a pace that you can’t cope.

The first, absolutely basic one being to use your annual leave to take some……. leave.

Another one being sitting down and having a sensible conversation with your boss about work load and working hours.

Do you work full time? What are your working hours and arrangements and what child care do you have? Roughly what do you earn?

With those bits of context we might be able to come up with some suggestions to make things sustainable.

@nightmarepickle2025 ?!

That's not going to work. A doctor isn't going to give you indefinite sick lines. 7 months is too far away for that to work

You do sound as if you need some kind of respite. Your doctor will probably be happy to sign you off for a few weeks but longer term you need another plan

@ScaryM0nster my job is very intense and we are expected to work long hours (finance). I earn above the threshold I think for any support but I do get tax free childcare. This makes the nursery cost 1,470 a month. I quite literally have around 10 pounds left after all bills and mortgage.

Do you rent? Run the figures through Entitled To website- as if you were pt and had childcare.

So your DD is at home with you whilst you're working? If so that's the issue here and a major no no, I presume your employer isn't aware of this?
You need to sort childcare out for your child. Yes you'll have to pay for it but it's no wonder you feel the way you do.
Also the 30 hours in September are unlikely to be free. They'll be funded yet however you'll most likely have top up fees to be paid.
Does she get the 15 hours now?

@Inpww , don’t worry about any SS involvement x

The OP has since clarified she sends dd to paid for childcare.

I've read OPs posts again and I can't see where she has said the child goes to FT childcare, what post am I looking for? What time did she post this?

I've had time off work for anxiety. Time away helped me recover, CBT, adjust to meds etc so that I felt able to return to work. If it's what you need to get yourself into a better place, I highly recommend it.

However, it's unlikely to be as easy as getting signed off for six months. From experience, I doubt a GP would sign you off for that long and you'd regularly need to go back for a new fit note, maybe every two to eight weeks (I think that was my longest sick note as a one off, most were two or three weeks). You'll also be expected to keep in touch with work on occasion and I was referred to occupational health. Speak to your GP and, if you feel able, speak to work to see what they say. If you're struggling to find balance, a GP doesn't necessarily need to sign you off, they could recommend reduced hours or reduced workload instead if you'd still rather be at work.

Also don't worry about social services. I asked the GP the same. They assured me loads of people are on some form of medication for mental health so it's quite normal and SS would only ever be involved if there was a risk to your DD. They'd much rather you asked for help.