Can anyone chat to me? Desperately lonely.

[Needalisteningear]

I am so lonely. This is going to be long.

My mum passed on xmas day last year. She had cancer and wasn't very old. She didn't die of cancer though, it was medical negligence.
My dad couldn't cope and moved to another country.
My ltr has just ended.
My kids are at their dads.
I have no friends. I've realised that. I have acquaintances from my dc groups. I've never really fit into friend groups. I was and still are, I suppose, hanging onto friend groups.
My past is an embarrassment (not my children) and I am so desperate to be happy that I just allow things that shouldn't happen in a relationship, to happen.
My life is a joke. The only good thing about it is my kids and tonight, I'm really struggling with loneliness.
I have no family left and the people who I have reached out to have finished the conversation after a couple of messages.
I suffer with ptsd and other mental health issues that stem from past relationships.

Is anyone around just to chat. Just so I can stop crying a bit?
Well done if you managed to read this far! And thank you x

Really needed this thread tonight op. Thank you. Feeling very lonely and afraid and anxious. But also knowing I need to develop parts of my life which give me human interaction and less rumination. Which is hard when you're struggling and have ptsd and your life is very fragile. I'm going to look into a singing group, and writing groups. I have to try and make a community which is based on what I love. But when your motivation is low bc of your mental health it's hard I know.

Honestly other people's lives are not perfect. Yes there will be the odd one who is living the dream but most people are struggling with one thing or another at one time or another and unfortunately some people are struggling with multiple things all at once. Social media absolutely does not help by making think everyone else has got it all together.

Hello, I was going to suggest a cat if that was a possibility,well, how lovely,2 kittens. My last cat died in 2006,DH doesn't really like cats,I have one border collie 9 who is scared of them, and a 14 months old border collie, after loosing our Phalene last year at almost 18. What are the kittens called, what colour are they? How old are your children? Am very sorry about your mum. Agree, maybe some kind of volunteering,there is a service where you ring and chat to older people alone and lonely,or visit them at home. I think as a hetero sexual woman it's very hard to make friends. I did various evenings classes,met like minded people, different crafts, pasta making. Lead glass. Local college, so not too expensive,a basic plumbing course, and Swedish massage and squash,made a friend there. Unfortunately she emigrated and we lost touch. Reach out to your local council,see what they need in the way of volunteers.i started writing to people years ago, I picked a radius of 70 miles from home,met some people that way and become friends.

I don't understand why, but it causes me stress as soon as I hear the word. There's shouting, it gets rough, stealing has happened. It's savage.
I'm calling them my adorable arseholes at the moment 🤣 they are trying to climb up the curtains...
Thank you for talking to me x

That made me smile. I was telling my son about my first cat and how his ears would go flat when he was being naughty. He looked demonic. We can't play monopoly without someone getting upset. I feel like a referee. Got to love cats though. I can remember mine jumping onto my legs when I was fastening my skirt zip, I had to detach a cat from my tights.

Hi op,

sounds like loads of replies but happy to chat too 🌺
way too many people on earth to feel lonely.

They're very cute. Very cute. Since they've been here I've had to move a bedroom around as they kept going to the toilet under the far corner of my sons bed, broke said bed, knocked a pc monitor over. They're only small! They sleep during the daytime and wake up at night. I try and sleep hearing them running around, scratching things, knocking things off 😂 Last night I decided to just deal with the mess in the morning 😳 I was defeated.
My dc are 10, 13 and 16. Come to think of it, they're all cheaters in every game!!! I had 2 plotting together playing Monopoly at Christmas. I kid you not, EVERYONE was in tears. Today was the first day I've been brave enough. They clearly can't play it together 😂
Thank you so much x

I know exactly what you mean, it's so frustrating being 'stuck'. My mum passed away 2 years ago and today I found myself crying in Morrisons when a old man asked me to grab him some cherry bakewells because they were too high for him. I felt and absolute wally, they were my mum's favourite snack and I've been having a rough time and it just felt like she was giving me a nudge to let me know she was there. He gave me a hug and walked off, didn't ask questions just knew that'd be enough. I hope you start to have better days. On a lighter note, I recently joined a silent book club at a local bookshop which is great for getting out and about but not having to talk to anyone 😂

Whereabouts are you op ?

If I can, these are the new kids on the block. I'm in love 😍

Oh my goodness @Needalisteningear those kittens are gorgeous.

You will feel better.

In the meantime if you need something brilliant to watch try 'Modern Family' always makes me laugh even when I'm glum.

Sending you hugs 🤗

On another note thank goodness you rescued those kittens OP, how could anyone 'not want them' I'm sure they'll bring you great joy.

Sending you love OP. Your kittens are just gorgeous!

You have encouraged me! That sounds like a lovely evening!
The film I'd pick would be Pitch Perfect 1. I'd sing a long to that one too, maybe do the hand/arm parts of the dance! I've never watched One Fine Day. I'll add it to my list!
I have stopped crying now! Absolutely shocked at the replies. I'm just sitting here smiling needing a wee but really enjoying chatting!
Sorry to hear you've had a hard day too, I hope your perfect night is perfect! You have made me feel like eating. I'm wondering if I would deserve a takeaway tonight? I've not managed to eat properly for a few days. Or maybe a co-op delivery with a nice sandwich and some chicken satays. You've made me think now!

I worry that once I start, I struggle to stop. That just makes it worse! I struggle to 'sit' with emotions, if that makes sense. Being honest with myself, even if it's laughing, I smile and keep it in. I have a bit of a last minute session with my therapist Monday. I'm going to mention that. You really, really have made me think.

Thank you so, so, so much x

Of COURSE you deserve a takeaway! 😁

Florrie and Charlie!
I have a beagle. He is old, a bit too chubby and loud. He's a snack stealer. He cares about nothing other than meal times. And what he can pinch. He is no performing monkey, there has to be an exchange of snack for ANYTHING now that he is old and stubborn 😒😆
Kids love the cats, and the dog, and the rabbit. They adore animals. I wish I could move us all to a farm!
Thank you for replying x

It's hard! One step forward and a million back it feels at times!

So you did actually get rid of the game? 😆 I'm joining you! Any tears shed? Boards and houses thrown anywhere?!

Thank you x

I would find out what men actually do in the bathroom for as long as they go in...

Your question.

Would you rather live inside your favourite childhood movie or book?

This thread has really made my night! I am so shocked and the niceness of MN is overwhelming! I've posted one message and a whole army of people are here holding me up. I'm humbled. I really am.

Thank you x

Oh I'm sorry, they become your babies and it's hard to adjust when they go. Maybe I should be a bit braver. They all know one another exist but I keep them seperate. Haha, does your cat bop your dog on the head? I've seen it on videos, find it hilarious!
Throughout this thread, I've realised that my children can't play board games together. They wind each other up far too much and it gets out of hand 🙄
I don't have a hobby, no. I have tried things in the past but nothing that really gets me. I don't have many interests. I really do need to do more with my life! X

hey there, just hopped on to say your kittens are v cute and also, do you happen to have an Alexa? When mine isn’t sulking (am I the only person whose Alexa seems to have little uncooperative hissy fits) she is brilliant at finding the best songs for me to sing along to. Heaven alone knows what the neighbours think. I have a 3 month free Amazon music subscription at the moment and I love it.

By the way I was a complete mess for nearly two years after my mum died but now it’s three years and I’m coping better. I have taken up swimming, I’ve made a few female friends for the first time in a long time, and I can “hear” her voice in my head now and it gives me so much comfort.

Today she’d be scolding me for eating too many fig rolls and asking if it’s too early to buy aa pumpkin for Halloween (yes mum it is).

Disappearing now to try out PianoTiles…

Awhh I'm sorry I didn't get back to you earlier, I hope you did get that takeaway 😊

I am fully mulching out as promised, snuggling down and watching Netflix! I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better, we all need people around us sometimes, and it helps to know people are walking along that road with us x

We have several versions of the game. None end well.. Youngest thinks the game can only be won with the aquisition of Mayfair and Park Lane.. I'm sure I should be teaching gracious losing or something..but yeah flying houses and lose of temper 😂

I'm not good at describing things but I enjoyed Ludwig because each episode was solving a murder in a v clever way .
I'm not that keen on David Mitchell but I liked him in this , as someone says ,a better actor than comedian.
And it's not violent, despite being about murder, and it's clever and funny.
You take care lovely.

Really sad to read this. You're not alone, if that helps at all to know. I feel very lonely too. But look at how many people have engaged with you.....just goes to show that there are kind people out there. Keep your chin up. Maybe try to think about the things you like and try to pursue them?