Can anyone chat to me? Desperately lonely.

[Needalisteningear]

I am so lonely. This is going to be long.

My mum passed on xmas day last year. She had cancer and wasn't very old. She didn't die of cancer though, it was medical negligence.
My dad couldn't cope and moved to another country.
My ltr has just ended.
My kids are at their dads.
I have no friends. I've realised that. I have acquaintances from my dc groups. I've never really fit into friend groups. I was and still are, I suppose, hanging onto friend groups.
My past is an embarrassment (not my children) and I am so desperate to be happy that I just allow things that shouldn't happen in a relationship, to happen.
My life is a joke. The only good thing about it is my kids and tonight, I'm really struggling with loneliness.
I have no family left and the people who I have reached out to have finished the conversation after a couple of messages.
I suffer with ptsd and other mental health issues that stem from past relationships.

Is anyone around just to chat. Just so I can stop crying a bit?
Well done if you managed to read this far! And thank you x

I really hope you get better soon! Don't do anything, just rest, drink plenty and eat yummy food.
I think I may be a bit hard on myself, you're right!
Get better, and thank you, so much x

They're my everything. I could never leave them without a mum, I know how much it hurts. Their faces, characters, personalities, their love for me and mine for them are what keep me going! I smile just thinking about them!
I hope you're feeling better now? It must be so difficult, illness is just the worst.

I will try your ideas, they sound great. Thank you for your time x

Haha, absolutely! I'll give him a little tummy tickle!
Did you find outdoor swimming helped your mindset at all? It's always been something I'd love to try. I did do a sea dip for cancer on Boxing Day. It was icy cold!
Thank you for replying, and for your suggestions. I live 10 mins from the sea and I know they do swimming. There are a few groups around near me. I will look into it x

What books do you read OP? Have you ever tried audiobooks? I love them, have one on when cleaning or driving etc

I'm going to have a look at that. I think another pp recommended it too. I would love to meet people. It may do wonders for confidence and self esteem too.
I'm glad you're getting there. I do meditation at night times. I hope I still listen when I'm asleep!

I cannot believe the number of replies. It's turned my night around x

Hi Op and all the others going through a tough time .

I am sorry that you are all having a difficult time . It is hard when we are lonely and realise that we don't have lots of friends to call on .
It is difficult going through a separation and also although it is great to have some grown up time without kids, it also is lonely . I have found that after a recent separation that I don't have any single friends and whilst I do have some friends they all have busy lives .

I think it is hard not having a default person and ready made social life , although let's face it we wouldn't be in this position if our relationships had been good .

You sound like such a lovely mum & person Op . I am glad that you have your pets to cuddle and distract you .

I think we all tend to get focussed on all the things that we think we are failing at in life . But instead we should remind ourselves about what we are doing well . Op you have come out of a relationship , have recently lost your mum & have PTSD that is a lot for anyone to deal with . So you and others who are struggling just now , I am in awe that you are able to get by day to day .

You and others sound strong that you are able to look after your kids and animals . You also need to look after yourself too .

I tend to get overwhelmed by all the things that I need to sort out . I will try to focus on one thing , perhaps try and get more exercise and get out walking again .

I also love All Creatures Great & Small and The Durrells is also similar feel good either way the added bonus of the beautiful Greek scenery .

Can you rewatch any comedies that you loved in the past . I rewatched Green Wing and found it as funny as the first time .

I also enjoy listening to music from when I was younger as that makes me think of happy times .Take care .

Ah thanks! If I do it before you, come stay with me too! I logged onto my lotto app at about 3am a few weeks ago and I couldn't log in. It told me to come back later. I was convinced I had won ¥100 million. Woke up and dreams were shattered with my number over 4 lines 😆

How are you feeling about therapy? I had one block through Talking therapies a few months ago and I've booked another with the same one Monday. I'm going to read my op to her. Loneliness is the pits, it really is. Everything seems a thousand times worse when I'm lonely x

Thank you so, so much. Your words have put a lot into perspective. I need to look for the small things and take my happiness from that. I need to open my eyes and my senses!
I got a coffee and went for a drive earlier. I just cried but next time I will try and make it more enjoyable! It's autumn, there is loads in nature to be looking at!
Thank you x

Thank you so much.
There is so much kindness in the world x

That sounds perfect 🥰 i have my dog on me asleep and I think my kittens are nocturnal! Is this normal?! 😆 they are livewires and don't show any signs of stopping tonight! How old are your cats?

I think they'd love it. Go get the cat! And keep getting them 🤣

Thank you for chatting to me, so lovely x

Hi, thanks for replying! How are you feeling? I'm so, so glad that this thread has helped, not only me but someone else. I would love to try and keep this going. It has really helped tonight.
Please keep updating if you do start. I would like to sing so I may join you and look for a choir maybe! We can do this!
It's hard but I think living like this is harder. I'm going to change it.
Keep updating and thank you for chatting x

I do need to come off social media but it's the only thing that keeps me in touch with the real world. Maybe actually, a glossed over real world. You have made me think! Thank you! X

Thank you for all your suggestions! I would to have a go at glass blowing. I remember watching it when I was younger and it looked so magical. I could do with a plumbing course, I have a major leak under my bath! It's intermittent and coincides with when the heating is on so I'm struggling to find the cause!
You have really enriched your life. I want ro do the same. Thank you so much x

Is that something to look out for 😅 I was sat earlier and one attacked my pony tail. I'm going to be a nervous wreck! Although I'm not sure who is noisier at the moment, my dd rabbit or the cats. Rabbit sounds like it's trying to knock a wall down.
Monopoly turns even the nicest people into thieves and fraudsters and gangsters! X

I wasn't expecting this many! It's just amazing and really shows there are nice people around!
Thank you for taking the time x

Aw you poor thing, how're you feeling now? Doesn't it hit you at the strangest times? What a lovely man to give you a cuddle!
Cherry bakewells gave me lovely thought, my mum adored them and I always used to ask for the cherry off the top! Thank you!
To begin with silent sounds good. I can wave!
Thank you so, so much for posting, you really made me smile! X

Northwest! It's cold, windy and raining. Again 😝

You said your children mean a lot. Get a pen and some paper and quickly start making a note of every single happy memory you have related to them. Don’t let any other associated memory get on the way. See if you can get 10 tonight.

Go and get a hot drink without caffeine. Go to bed and maybe listen to some music,

Tomorrow write out full descriptions of your 10 happy memories.

You could go to a local church tomorrow for the company all round. You don’t need to believe in anything.

On Monday you could look in at a library and see if there are notices about anything you might like to join.
💐♥️💕

Thank you! I think so too 😍

Oh I've heard about Modern Family! I could do with a laugh! That is top of my list!
Hugs back, just in case you need one x

They're very funny. And adorable. And currently wrecking my house 🤣
My dad was allergic so they're my first kitten babies! If I say 'babies' to them, they're starting run to me 🥰
Really grateful to you for chatting x

Thank you so much! I will always keep this thread!
They are, aren't they! I'm biased... x

It was too late. I had a bag of pombears and a flake. An improvement on nothing though! Takeaway tomorrow night. I hope you had the best night x

Sorry to hear that. Looks as if you've had many replies anyway. Not sure what form of "chat" you want but tbh email is gf me. Let me know through here if you still want chatters. Must warn u I'm "only" 20.

I can't choose.
Movie would be Cinderella in cartoon Disney version.
Book, I would attend Mallory Towers! Their meals sounded lush. And swimming in the bay. Everything!

Another one, if you want to of course.

Are you happy with your hair? If not, what would you change?

I do but she is very flaky. She only works when she can be bothered. I need to create a song list of all the songs I love. Regardless of memories. I will do this too!
Ooh swimming is a good idea. I'm going to go swimming. That's going on my list! Go get a pumpkin before all the big ones go! If you get one now, you could get another 🤭
I can actually imagine being a top class pianist when I play that. I sound so good 😆