No Taylor Swift tickets pushed me over the edge tonight

[SadUselessMum]

I know this is 1st world problems but I’m feeling so sad tonight. I’m just sat here sobbing. My DD has saved up £200 from all the birthday/xmas money to try and get a TS ticket and I’ve been saving a bit every week so we would have enough for 2. We didn’t get any with our code (as it wouldn’t work) and I stupidly thought that £400 would be enough to get 2 tickets even if they were really rubbish seats.

I’ve been looking for weeks. Anything within the price range is rare and gets snapped up. I even looked tonight for short notice and the cheapest were £800 for 2. One ticket was going for 7k!

This has been the final straw for me. I work all the hours god sends, missing time with my kids, just to keep a roof over our heads. We have no money for fun. I go to bed worrying about money and wake up worrying about it. My DD had no presents or trips this year as she wanted money for one measley concert ticket! But no! All the ticket touts got there first. She’s being brave about it as she can see I feel bad but I’ve heard her crying in her room tonight. I didn’t have much when I was a child but I had more than this. I’m a shit mum and my DD is having a shitty childhood. I wish I’d never had her.

If this is life, I don’t want it anymore.

Oh I’m sorry OP. Your post made me feel quite emotional for you.

It’s awful when we feel we can’t give our DC something they want and deserve (and to see others going multiple times is really hard to take(

I was sympathetic on first few points as it is rubbish touts buy up tickets like this and the prices are ridiculous cos it would be nice for kids and genuine fans to be able to go.

But as soon as you got into "shitty childhood wish I never had her don't want to live if this is life" stuff you lost me sorry.

The Taylor swift ticketing was mad. Plenty of determined people didn't get them. There will be other chances in future. More people didn't go than did. You're a good mum.

You aren’t a sad useless mum. There will be kids all over the country guttered because they can’t go, your daughter is not alone.
She has a mum who could not have tried harder to get her there, and that in the long run is what counts.

You could use the money to do something else special together? Make other memories which will make her forget that she didn’t go to see Taylor Swift.

I’m really sorry you and your daughter are so disappointed.

I think you may be having a slight over-reaction to concert tickets, but it’s understandable in the moment of disappointment to feel this way.

Tomorrow things will seem better, you and your daughter can spend Friday night planning something else lovely to do together with your £400.

Don't beat yourself up so much, you've tried your absolute hardest and just remember there will be thousands of other kids in the same position.

Ridiculous drama.

I think your values are very skewed if you think TS tickets is the highlight of good parenting. Why not book a nice weekend away for you and DD?

Maybe you can put some thought into something else she can spend that hard won cash on? This really sucks, and it's not fair, but that's a really good chunk of money and you guys could have a brilliant day with it, maybe shopping, and a film night, and a trip out somewhere... How could you turn this around to make some different but still lovely memories for her?

I know it's completely different but I once saw Fleetwood Mac in Amsterdam because it was cheaper than seeing them in London , including flights and accommodation. I have no idea where else she's touring but it's worth a thought.

I know it sounds ridiculous! I feel ridiculous. But it just feels as if I’ve been holding back the floodgates for so long - just working to live and never doing anything nice at all. I’ve just had enough.

There will be other years, other tours. Prices won't be so silly in years to come.

Go and give her a cuddle, tell her you will keep saving and when there is another tour, you'll try again.

What children mostly need is not a concert ticket, but a mum who consistently loves them and tries for them. That's what counts, more than anything.

Nice. Caring and compassionate.

OP I don't think you'll get them for £400. I would plan something else together.

Oh, I would take her on a cheaply trip to Paris or London or anywhere you can get a super cheap flight to. Mooch about the posh shops, have a fancy cake.. she’ll love it.
get a projector, play the concert with popcorn and mates on your big screen. It will be on you tube soon, I’m sure.
so sorry tho, that’s rotten.

Maybe look into the Taylor Swift Tribute Act? Tickets will be a fraction of that and could still be really fun. You could have a night before it watching the Eras tour movie and making friendship bracelets, you could still get dressed up.

You could take her on a weekend abroad for that price?

Hits radio app has put a play list up voted by fans. How about a night of alcohol free drinks and some nibbles and get those tunes on? Sometimes not pulling off what you want to treat your dc is rubbish op....
We have to move house and the feeling of letting the dc down is massive...

If money is tight it is absolutely a gift that you haven’t got tickets - it’s a concert show, your DD will get over it and you can do some really really lovely things together with £200 and save the rest!!

So you’ve got £400 for some other lovely experience. Tomorrow start looking at what else you could do with that money. A lovely day out in London with theatre tickets?
You could get a whole weekend away with a hotel for that money.
The measure of good parenting is NOT being able to spend £800 on one concert. Which is ridiculous by the way. I’d think a bit less of anyone who wasted that kind of money for 2 tickets to anything.

Weren’t they on sale ages ago?

I think this isn't really about the Taylor Swift tickets. If it is, then yes it's disappointing but not the end of the world and it will teach your daughter resilience, making the best of a bad situation, etc. And Taylor Swift is young and so is your daughter. She will almost certainly have plenty of other chances to see her.

I suspect though that this is the stress of having to always worry about money that has finally caught up with you. There obviously aren't any easy solutions but try to look at the fact you now have a bit of money put away for a rainy day.

Finally, you aren't a shit mum because you obviously really love your daughter, and being loved is the most important thing in the world. I grew up with neglectful and abusive parents and would have done absolutely anything to have a mum like you. You're a really good mum and Taylor Swift tickets or other fancy things have nothing to do with it.

I get your disappointment, I wanted to take my Swiftie DD to the Edinburgh show but we couldn't find any seated tickets that weren't absolutely ridiculous prices and I can't swallow dropping the best part of 2k for a concert that lasts 3 hours so that's that. We're going to a tribute act performing in our local town soon, less than £40 for 2 tickets, if there's one on near you and it will cheer your daughter up a bit? I've told mine I'm sure there will be more Taylor tours in the future and maybe we'll be luckier next time.

I totally understand. DD's friends all ended up getting last minute tickets - their families are mostly very well off, and we just couldn't. She was so upset.
I get that it's just a concert and I'm sure she'll be back, but when you're 10 like DD that logic isn't there.
We spent the night of the concert eating snacks and watching Eras on Disney+ - all 3.5 hours of it.
Please don't feel bad, our kids know we work hard but don't really understand. When they are older they will look back and know that we did our very best to give them what we could.
And a very old fashioned part of my brain does say, 'well, they need to understand they can't have everything' but that's about my DCs not yours.

I wanted Take That tickets but didn't manage to get them, it's just a concert. Please get some perspective. For the sake of your dd teach her sometimes we don't get what we want. Harsh perhaps but there's so many things my DDs didn't get they wanted and they are just fine

I think you’re right - it’s the feeling of letting her down. I always let her down. She sees all her friends doing nice things we can’t do and she’s so stoic about it but it’s the letting her down over and over again. We just trudge through life, barely making ends meet. This was the one frivolous thing we were going to do in all of her 14 years. She already said she’s going to put the money she’s saved away for study guides that she needs for next year rather than keep fighting to get them from the library. I just wanted her to be able to be a carefree teenager for once.