No Taylor Swift tickets pushed me over the edge tonight

[SadUselessMum]

I know this is 1st world problems but I’m feeling so sad tonight. I’m just sat here sobbing. My DD has saved up £200 from all the birthday/xmas money to try and get a TS ticket and I’ve been saving a bit every week so we would have enough for 2. We didn’t get any with our code (as it wouldn’t work) and I stupidly thought that £400 would be enough to get 2 tickets even if they were really rubbish seats.

I’ve been looking for weeks. Anything within the price range is rare and gets snapped up. I even looked tonight for short notice and the cheapest were £800 for 2. One ticket was going for 7k!

This has been the final straw for me. I work all the hours god sends, missing time with my kids, just to keep a roof over our heads. We have no money for fun. I go to bed worrying about money and wake up worrying about it. My DD had no presents or trips this year as she wanted money for one measley concert ticket! But no! All the ticket touts got there first. She’s being brave about it as she can see I feel bad but I’ve heard her crying in her room tonight. I didn’t have much when I was a child but I had more than this. I’m a shit mum and my DD is having a shitty childhood. I wish I’d never had her.

If this is life, I don’t want it anymore.

Sounds like you've raised a great girl there! Hope you spend the money on something lovely you can do together.
@LilacK that's such a kind and generous offer! 👏

Get a benefits checkup and apply for PIP. Seriously.

If you aren't able to work full-time, you might be entitled to some means-tested support. And if you've got days where you can barely walk, you've got a good chance of getting PIP.

PIP tips:

• Get a disability charity or other specialist support to help you fill in the form. There are even Facebook groups for peer support.
• If you get rejected, appeal, because loads of rejections are overturned on appeal.

I know it's not at all the same but me and my DD's are loving watching the live streams of the concerts. You can watch on YouTube or TikTok live. I stream it on our big tv on YouTube from a guy called SwiftHockeyBro, quality can be a bit glitchy at times but we get the chance to watch it all and guess the surprise songs and sing along.

Tell me that you have no idea about how depression affects people without telling me that you have no idea about how depression affects people.

Same for @Loubelle70 and @Ellie525.

*billionaire as of recently

Yes I said that! Because then she wouldn’t have this shit life and I could kill myself without guilt. It may be a vile thing to say but that’s how I feel.

I've spent hours OP trying. And failing.

My DC are desperate to go but I'm not putting money into the hands of someone who is just ripping you off.

OP ignore the emotionally shallow posters who don’t get it. Of course it’s ok to set your sights higher than just keeping your kids clean and fed! For what it’s worth, your daughter sounds like the product of an excellent mother.

I echo what others have said about applying for PIP - research it first to give yourself the best chance.

Lots of great suggestions on here for special things you could do instead. I love the idea of hosting a themed party, her friends will all think that’s brilliant.

Please, just stop. This OP has said things that make me concerned that she may try to harm herself, "If this is life, I don’t want it anymore" being the obvious example.

You judging her achieves what, precisely, apart from making her feel worse?

Oh i know, diagnosed long time ago with bi polar but id never say about never having my child, through the pain of losing a little one. So yes i do know.

Awww I totally get it. And I know it's not easy to reframe this. But - people with a lot of money couldn't get tickets - it was totally the equivalent of a lottery. TS made sure of that with resale policy

Anyone who thinks OP is ridiculous or making a big fuss about concert tickets is totally missing the point here. Honestly, have a think about what she’s actually saying 🙄

@SadUselessMum you’re not a sad, useless mum. The fact you’re so worried about it is proof of that. I didn’t get TS tickets either, and when I last looked at the resale value they were so astronomically expensive that even if I could afford it, I wouldn’t be able to stomach spending that much money on a concert (though I’m sure it would be amazing). How about you use some of the money you’ve saved to get a lovely takeaway, some pampering treats, nice snacks etc and watch the TS tour movie together? I know it’s not the same but try and turn this into something positive.

Your daughter sounds absolutely lovely, btw, for not wanting you to see her upset and also for saving so hard for a ticket. Well done xx

Read the OP's most recent post and then, kindly, stop shaming her.

@MaidOfAle I suffer from depression myself. I'm also a widowed parent of a DD. She's had me shaking with rage before and I've felt suicidal (today actually very briefly) but yet I would never, ever say or think that I wished I'd never had her. Believe me I've many excuses to use if I had said such a thing but I never would.

Oh OP I get it. We can really take it to heart when we can't do something that our kids really really want and it's not for want of trying! Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I do love the party ideas. Order pizza, let your DD invite a few friends to get all dressed up in favourite Era outfits, with all the bracelets, and watch the Eras movie or something. It's not the concert but it'll be fun and when the tour moves on and press coverage recedes it won't feel so raw.

Fortunately my teenage dd didn’t want to go to Taylor Swift even though she is playing in our city. We might not have been able to actually get tickets however so it was good to not have the stress of codes/queueing etc.

She did want to go to see another artist who was only playing in Manchester and I looked into it but had to say no. With concert tickets, train tickets and a hotel the cost was just ridiculous. She was upset for a week but now I am so glad I said no early on so the expectation isn’t there now and she will come to accept it by the time the concert is on. It is awful to see your child so disappointed though.

@Finedefinefine has said it perfectly x

@SadUselessMum come on now don't be saying stuff like that. You're upset and it's understandable it please please realise it's pure chance you didn't get tickets - pure chance

i hope you feel better tomorrow. Remember what an op said - more people (many) don't have tickets who desperately wanted them

I'm sorry for your loss.

Surely, with your own experience of depression, you understand that shaming the OP will only make her feel worse? This is a counterproductive tactic.

We didn't get tickets either and it was massively gutting watching all the videos and posts from the weekend. My DD best friend and cousin managed to get tickets. But keep trying as they kept releasing them for Edinburgh and my friend got restricted view tickets for about £50 the week before and other people were getting tickets right up to the date. Also the atmosphere just being outside and around the stadium was amazing so I would definitely do that at your area if you can. Also I'm sure you're not a shit mum. I hope things start looking up for you soon 💐

Thank you for those who have been kind. I know I don’t deserve her and she would definitely be better off without me. I’m signing out now.

@SadUselessMum it isn’t a vile thing to say. It’s a sign of how desperate you feel. I would go back to the GP. Honestly those anti depressants are not doing the job. You’re clearly suffering and need help.

@MaidOfAle - congrats, hun. You’re handling your life and circumstances (which sound really tough, for that I’m sorry) differently to OP. It doesn’t mean she can’t say how she’s feeling or can’t feel this way just because you don’t or wouldn’t. Shaming and judging someone who is so obviously at a really low point is just so unnecessary.

@EnglishBluebell

She just said she wished she'd never had her.....

...because of the guilt she feels that she isn't giving her enough. She is but she feels that way.

What do you get out of kicking someone when they are down and where it's clear as anything that that comment specifically was made in sadness and desperation rather than her regretting her child in reality.

I don't understand why you would post something so nasty to some very clearly struggling with their mental health. What a bizarre thing to do.