No Taylor Swift tickets pushed me over the edge tonight

[SadUselessMum]

I know this is 1st world problems but I’m feeling so sad tonight. I’m just sat here sobbing. My DD has saved up £200 from all the birthday/xmas money to try and get a TS ticket and I’ve been saving a bit every week so we would have enough for 2. We didn’t get any with our code (as it wouldn’t work) and I stupidly thought that £400 would be enough to get 2 tickets even if they were really rubbish seats.

I’ve been looking for weeks. Anything within the price range is rare and gets snapped up. I even looked tonight for short notice and the cheapest were £800 for 2. One ticket was going for 7k!

This has been the final straw for me. I work all the hours god sends, missing time with my kids, just to keep a roof over our heads. We have no money for fun. I go to bed worrying about money and wake up worrying about it. My DD had no presents or trips this year as she wanted money for one measley concert ticket! But no! All the ticket touts got there first. She’s being brave about it as she can see I feel bad but I’ve heard her crying in her room tonight. I didn’t have much when I was a child but I had more than this. I’m a shit mum and my DD is having a shitty childhood. I wish I’d never had her.

If this is life, I don’t want it anymore.

OP, I think you're a good mum doing your best and for some reason, you've pinned getting tickets for this concert as the pinnacle of your whole parenting and your daughter's 'meaning of life'. It isn't, of course, but as PP has insightfully pointed out, it's the relentless slog getting you down. Totally understand that.

It's human nature to focus on the negative comments/events in our lives because whatever is running well doesn't need our attention. Remember that there are thousands of things that you've done for your daughter that are in her best interests and with her at the forefront, She knows this, will always know this. She's just disappointed and that's ok too so put her tears in perspective.

There will be other concerts. You and she could decide to save this money and add to it for the next one or another one some other time, or you could jointly decide that actually, on second thoughts, this isn't what you want to invest your hard-saved money on.

It's tough for many people money-wise at the moment, that can't be helped right now, but try not to make a lack of money any sort of indictment of your parenting; it really, really isn't.

I don’t think so. I’m not offering tea and sympathy. Often people do need to reflect about what is driving their angst. Pointing out reality and suggesting the op looks at what’s achievable and positive about parenting isn’t shit advice. No parent can achieve everything. So pick what you can do well and celebrate that. Not getting TS tickets melts into the background.

I don't know if it's for the Liverpool concerts op but I was on a waitlist for Edinburgh last weekend, totally forgot about it as registered so far back. On Friday morning I got a notification from ticketmaster with my code. I couldn't go anyway at such short notice but I had a look and there were lots of tickets available, starting at about £82 so you might get a notification for either of the next 2 nights

Two people I know got restricted view tickets at the last minute for £60 each. Keep
trying especially closer to the dates.

Ignore the bitchy comments, tonight seems to have bought out the 13 year old emotionally stunted eejits on many threads.

Its hard when you’re knackered and try your best and just want something good to happen for once, the event or product itself is immaterial it’s the fact you try so hard for something so wanted.

I hope you find something else to do together if still unsuccessful with tickets. X

I'm sorry people are being so harsh. You really don't deserve that. People are missing the point that when you're struggling in life it can be a seemingly trivial thing which really tips you over the edge.

Hell, when I was going through a particularly shit time and my grandfather had just died that morning, I absolutely sobbed down the phone at some poor Deliveroo customer service guy because the restaurant had sent the wrong rice. In retrospect not my finest hour, but I'm only human and sometimes it is small thing that finishes you off.

You sound like a brilliant mum to me, doing your absolute best in crap circumstances.

@RoseBucket However much you want something good, it’s got to be achievable! You will not be able to readily get these tickets! It’s just piling the angst on even thinking someone will. Why not book a holiday!!! At least that’s doable!!

Oh dear, you’re missing the point, sigh.

OP thought it would be achieveable. She had a code, and then it didn't work, which she wouldn't reasonably have foreseen.

Hmmm. Don’t agree there I’m afraid. It’s a scam. It’s still clutching at straws. Being realistic helps deal with setbacks. Don’t expect too much.

Are there good TS tributes you could go too. I've seems some amazing tributes recently.
They seem to have really upped their game and usually only 20/30 a go.
I know is not the same but it's still a fun night out and I'm sure your dd will enjoy it.

Please stop posting @TizerorFizz - OP is at the end of her tether and now is not the time.

www.taylorswifttribute.com/

(((((( @SadUselessMum )))))))

Great idea @LilacK . My lad finishes tomorrow. Tell us the boards and subjects, OP.

OP If you weren't trying so hard to be a good parent, you wouldn't let this bother you so you obviously are a good parent.

DH tried to get tickets here but failed and to be honest the whole way TS tickets were marketed was nothing less than a genius marketing strategy.

What age is your DD? Why not book the Eurostar and go to Disney for a day? That would be so much better than any concert?

We are talking about a mother who has survived cancer and is still ill, who wanted one nice thing for her DD.

How much less should she expect?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who had to double check that the OP hadn't posted on AIBU by mistake. There's some bloody awful replies on here, especially when it's the mental health board and this poor woman has said she's at breaking point.

As a PP said some of the names are familiar because of the nasty crap they regularly spout.

OP if you're still reading, I'm assuming you were after Liverpool tickets? We missed out too, but I'm sure I've read somewhere that people are listening in Stanley Park and having picnics etc and that theres a Taylor trail in the city. It might not be the evening she dreamed of, but I'm betting there'll be a great atmosphere. Im all for education and being sensible but on this occasion sod study guides, if you can go and listen outside, do a spot of shopping with the money she's saved up and make some memories then go for it.

It mega sucks maybe you can use this money so she can have something she has wanted more regularly like cinema trips or whatever it is that she is missing out on a regular basis

but comparison is the thief of joy - you can either not compare yourself to anyone at all (which is what I try to do) or, if you compare yourself to people who are better off (which OP has done with her DD's friends) you have to also accept that there are others who are worse off. If you ONLY compare yourself to those who have more than you it's never going to work out well, is it?

If OP had ended her post before her last sentence I'm sure she would have had more sympathetic replies. Most people can empathise with wishing you could give your child a better life...but not with wishing your child's life away.

Do you not think that the MH of those who have lost children of their own or who are unable to conceive may have been affected by stumbling across a post where someone actually wishes their child was never born because they can't get taylor swift tickets? Yes there's 'more to it' but ultimately that is still what OP said, and not just once in the heat of the moment but then repeated in a subsequent post.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this OP. We all want to do the best for our kids and it sounds like you and your daughter have been doing an amazing job.

I really hope you get some last minute tickets. If you can't can you use the money to treat yourselves to something else? A spa day together, or even plush day trip. We all need to do things that make us feel it's worth putting up with all the crap.

Can you get a trial of Disney plus to watch the tour concert with snacks etc then spend the money on a girlie trip somewhere. Best of both worlds .

@1offnamechange gosh, where to start. You’re saying that OP shouldn’t be comparing herself to others who are more fortunate so you’re instead asking her to compare her situation to a terminally ill child (having literally just said you weren’t going to do that) and also casually throwing in the situation in Gaza (as an example of what you’re not going to ask her to do, but just have 🙄).

You’re completely minimizing and downplaying what is obviously a very difficult time for OP, your reply totally lacks any kind of empathy or understanding. Not to mention that comparison is a completely natural and common human behaviour.

You’ve basically said ‘it could be worse!’ - OP knows that. Everyone knows that, nobody needs to be told that. Except
you’ve gone one step further and included a bloody link to exactly how it could be worse!

I really hope that the next time you’re struggling with anything, feeling run down, low and like you just need to reach out somewhere (even an anonymous internet forum) for a hand hold and some support, that nobody tells you ‘it could be worse… here watch this video of a refugee camp, you’re better off than them so that should snap you out of this funk’. Jesus wept.

OP I am sorry. I can see you are gutted. This must feel like the last straw in a long time of not being able to treat your daughter. I know you would have loved to see her face light up after all that saving. Esp if her friends always get to do things.

I also understand your last comment. You feel so bad that you could not give her what she wanted, that you wish you could have saved her from a life of disappointment from lack of money, even by not having her. I don’t for a second think it reflects on how you feel about your daughter in a negative way. People who can’t see that have black and white thinking and lack emotional intelligence as they froth with outrage.

And quite frankly, it sounds like your girl has enough damn resilience. She doesn’t need yet another lesson.

This isn’t just about the tickets of course but I can see why it feels like such a painful blow for you. More than for other kids who have easier lives and couldn’t get tickets.

Your girl will remember when she is older that she had a mum who tried to move heaven and earth to give her a decent life, even when unwell herself. Be proud of that. And yes, use the cash for something else fun. Please not study guides! (EBay can be good for those cheaply). This Taylor mania will pass. But she will always know she had a mum who loved her.

And use some of that cash to treat yourself too. You deserve it x