No Taylor Swift tickets pushed me over the edge tonight

[SadUselessMum]

I know this is 1st world problems but I’m feeling so sad tonight. I’m just sat here sobbing. My DD has saved up £200 from all the birthday/xmas money to try and get a TS ticket and I’ve been saving a bit every week so we would have enough for 2. We didn’t get any with our code (as it wouldn’t work) and I stupidly thought that £400 would be enough to get 2 tickets even if they were really rubbish seats.

I’ve been looking for weeks. Anything within the price range is rare and gets snapped up. I even looked tonight for short notice and the cheapest were £800 for 2. One ticket was going for 7k!

This has been the final straw for me. I work all the hours god sends, missing time with my kids, just to keep a roof over our heads. We have no money for fun. I go to bed worrying about money and wake up worrying about it. My DD had no presents or trips this year as she wanted money for one measley concert ticket! But no! All the ticket touts got there first. She’s being brave about it as she can see I feel bad but I’ve heard her crying in her room tonight. I didn’t have much when I was a child but I had more than this. I’m a shit mum and my DD is having a shitty childhood. I wish I’d never had her.

If this is life, I don’t want it anymore.

@Ellie525 So why bother replying? OP is clearly upset and that won’t help. Not nice. Sometimes we need to vent in a safe space without being judged.

@SadUselessMum I don’t think you’re a bad Mum and I’m glad you have come on here to get this off your chest. Finances are so challenging for so many people at the moment and when you have worked so hard I totally get why you feel upset and down. It is a kick in the wotsits. I am sure your Daughter thinks you are amazing and will look back at her childhood and remember how hard you worked for her and how much you loved her.

@MaidOfAle @EnglishBluebell tagged the wrong poster there, sorry

As a parent, set realistic aims. Evaluate what is sensible, and achievable. TS tickets were not achievable for most and we all knew this. So don’t set yourself or DD up for failure. For decades some artists have had scarcity of tickets. We, as parents, realise these tickets probably cannot be purchased. Therefore set realistic goals. It will make you feel better not to follow the herd and set your own targets that you might reasonably achieve.

Most of us set monetary limits too.

THIS. With bells on. Tickets were reasonable at face value, but trying to get tickets for Cardiff and the seats with no view of the stage are still listed for £500. I loathe touts with a passion, this is the first time I've contemplated paying above face value for tickets but the greed and mark ups are obscene.

OP I know exactly how you feel.

DS is a massive swiftie and was long before the eras tour madness and we haven't been able to get tickets we could afford. It does make you feel like a shit parent when it's something they want so much.

It does grate a bit when you see people on fb who don't actually care that much that have got rickets

Tickets not rickets...sure they would care about that!

I’m the other way round. I came here prepared to tell OP that she should pull her socks up and now she has £400 for some other nice treat but everything after ‘ticket touts’ just made me really sad and angry that this kind of thing happens to decent people.

You wish you never had her? Because of TS tickets? Theirs are many many people
Who didn't get tickets, my dds included. Resilience to real life is a thing.

oh come on.

I have sympathy with your struggles but objectively you must realise that her life, with secure housing, enough to eat, a free education, and a mother who loves her, is not 'shit' by any objective measure, and vastly better than the childhoods of most of the world.

Look at all the memes mocking Rishi Sunak about sky tv - she sounds like a hard working and committed girl, hopefully she will grow up to have a great career and 'I missed out on taylor swift tickets' will be her version of a 'deprived' childhood.

I would also encourage her to spend the money she's saved on something fun, and not study guides, which just sounds miserable and, tbh, martyrish. Surely if you're a teacher you can scan to a pdf or photocopy the ones she borrows from the library one day at work? Or, although I usually don't condone this, the majority of books are available free via file sharing somewhere.

Psst, I'm not the poster you quoted and I agree with you entirely.

The OP is living in financial hardship with the aftermath of cancer. This isn't the same as being a widow, or having bipolar, or being autistic, or being an abuse survivor, or any of the other "fun" shit life throws at people. The posts to the effect of "my life is hard in a different way from yours but let's just gloss over that and I don't rue the day my kids were born, so you wishing you hadn't had your kids makes you are an evil harridan who should feel ashamed and makes me morally superior to you" collectively make up the most toxic thing I've seen in my eight years on here.

I really hope that the OP stays safe and that she takes onboard the advice people gave about how to do something nice with her DD and my advice to make sure she is getting every penny she can in benefits.

Please go back and see your GP for your DD’s sake. She would not be better off without you.

If you’re still reading OP, I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. I’m sorry I said it was ridiculous. You’ve pinned too much on getting something that the vast majority of people have been unable to obtain. You can still
do something g lovely with your daughter that I think will be much better than the high up cheap seats at a stadium anyway. I hope things improve for you very soon and do reach out for help.

@longdistanceclaraclara no, not just because of TS tickets 🙄 read between the lines here if you’re able to. And if not, read some of OP’s other posts on this thread where she talks about the kind of lifestyle she feels she can afford to offer dd versus what she would like to be able to offer her. It’s a little deeper than what you’re focusing on.

I don't want to get into competitive 'there's always someone who has it worse' 'think about the children in gaza' whataboutery etc., but just as an example, here is another child your dd's age, who has got TS tickets - I bet her parents would kill to swap for your dd's 'shit life'
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0330ere50eo

I completely understand that you are going through a LOT, and your feelings are valid - but your dd will have the chance to see TS again.

What is it with poor reading comprehension on Mumsnet tonight? Across multiple threads, at that.

The tickets really aren't the problem here. They are the last straw for a depressed cancer survivor who is too ill to work full-time and whose family is really struggling financially as a consequence.

Tell me you didn't read the OP's posts without telling me you didn't read the OP's posts.

@SadUselessMum in the vain hope you’re still reading. … she wouldn’t be better off without you. But she would be better off if your MH was better. Please. Please see your GP.

@1offnamechange “I don't want to get into competitive 'there's always someone who has it worse' “- yet you still did?! Comparisons like this are utterly pointless - presumably you never, ever complain about anything in your life as there is always someone worse off?

Sending lots of love, OP. The world is a better place with you in it, I promise.

I can’t believe the shitty things some people have posted on a thread about fragile mental health, from someone who is clearly suffering, posted on the mental health board. Some posters should be utterly ashamed of themselves.

OP I hope you’re OK. You’ve been through a lot and your DD is incredibly lucky to have you as her mum.

And Bluebell has been cruel on other threads - please ignore her posts.

Fucking hell some people on here would make shit therapists

Many many people cannot give dc all they would like. It’s always been the same. Every parents knows this. Dc aren’t especially deserving of what you cannot get!!! In this case tickets for a concert the world and his wife wanted. Parenting isn’t about promising the earth. It’s being happy in your own environment with small treats if that’s what’s possible. There is more to being a loving parent than buying things.

@TizerorFizz another poster who has missed the point of this thread entirely 🙄

Some people on here make shit humans, and I'm not referring to the OP.