General support thread 2

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome. No judgement and kindness all around x

I had an okay day today, I'm just dreading wakening up tomorrow to see if it's gone 🥹

Hope you all have a good night's sleep x

@Helplessandheartbroke you are not a bad person. Those voices aren't yours and they certainly don't tell the truth! X

Woke up feeling totally deflated, had a good day yesterday now back go square one.

Why do I feel so sad?! Intrusive thoughts and anxiety are ruining my life 😔

Didn't even get up for school run this morning, still lying in bed. DH who has an exam today had to get up and get the kids sorted.

I'm just such a waste of space.

@hk1993x it is so disheartening when u have a good day and then the next day is shit. I totally get it, I wake up every morning with this immense knot of panic/anxiety in me to the point where I just want to be sick to get rid of it. And I have that every day even if I’ve had an okay day the day before. It usually calms by the time I’m up and dressed etc but it just makes me feel so unsettled and like I’m never going to beat the anxiety 😦

sorry I know that won’t help u but just know you are not alone, I, like u, am trying everything I can to get better but it’s still so so tough. I wish there was a quick fix I really do 🥺

If I don't beat it then it's going to end up killing me 😔😔

U WILL beat it, I know it doesn’t feel like it but you haven’t always been this bad have u my lovely? It will get better at some point, u have to keep going as there is no alternative, well certainly not one u should be contemplating! When’s ur next appt with the crisis team/ doctor etc? You need to give the new medication a chance to kick in too.

do u Manage to get out everyday? I know it’s so hard when u can’t be bothered doing anything but it does help just to leave the house and get some air. Sorry I don’t meant to preach at u but I’m just trying to think of things that have helped me! We’re here for u lovely xxx

Yeah but this time it feels longer.. from Xmas time anyways 😔.

I see the nurses today I think, I genuinely feel that I am a complete waste of space and a burden on my whole family. They deserve better 😔❤️

I'm sitting curled up in the corner of my couch with a cuppa. Ashamed of the way I feel. I just want it to all go away 😪

My hubby told me yesterday it was the first time he had seen me laugh so much in months and it broke my heart. I don't deserve him, or my kids. I bring nothing but sadness and a shell of who I'm supposed to be to them everyday.

I was actually at uni studying to be a paramedic but I've deferred. What's the point, I think so little of myself that I couldn't possibly be a good paramedic.

I'm just really really lost 😔

@hk1993x you should reframe what your husband said as something positive! Hold on to the fact that you had a good day yesterday where u laughed and enjoyed life… I think that shows progress doesn’t it? Hopefully those days will become more frequent and the crappy ones less so. I really do know how deflating it is when the bad days outweigh the good but everyone says u will take a step forward and then two steps back with mental health and it’s so true.

how far into your paramedic course were u @hk1993x ? If I’m right I think u must only be early 30s? U have so much time left to pursue that career if u still want to. Xxx

I was only 6 months into it 😔 I have the option of restarting again to a uni closer to home and I have got an offer for midwifery also. So I'm undecided. My friends and hubby are worried about the trauma I will come into contact with as a paramedic with my stupid mental health.

Yeah I'm 31. It's always 2 steps backwards, everyone must be sick of me by now. I just want to enjoy my life, be happy, have energy etc. My dh is being pretty silent with me this morning as I didn't get up to help with the school run.

I'm looking at life insurance quotes etc the now just on the off-chance something were to happen. Even though I don't have any plans, I need that safety net 🥹 xx

I can see why your husband/friend might be concerned about the trauma aspect of being a paramedic, they must see some pretty harrowing things sometimes. But I guess only you can be the judge of that.

your husband is probably just feeling a bit under pressure but that doesn’t mean he loves u any less! I think my partner probably feels the same sometime when he has to take care of the kids and me!

@hk1993x I understand how tough and relentless it seems atm. I've had 3 big breakdowns in my life each one lasting between 9 - 12 mths. Each time I remember thinking this is the time that's going to get me, this is the time I won't recover from. But I did get better from them all. Things aren't perfect, I'm still recovering from last years breakdown but they are much better than they were.
I had a relatively good period of about 10 days about 2 weeks ago where my anxiety and intrusive thoughts were quite minimal but this last week its not been so good again so I totally get the one step forward 2 steps back feeling. Hang in there. Xx

@hk1993x I'm sure life insurance doesn't pay out for suicide so that won't help! Plus your family need you and not money!

You will get better as @Whycantgiraffesdance there's no other viable option. Believe me if it wasn't for my ds I'm not sure what I would have done previously but were here for a reason. You will become a paramedic or a midwife and you will help people as that's the kind of person you are x

I think this is the thing @Helplessandheartbroke as horrible as this conversation is, I don’t think anyone of us with kids would choose to leave them although like u I think at times if I was just me to worry about, it might be a different story!

how are u today? X

@Whycantgiraffesdance just having a rough few days but I'll get there. How are you? X

So jittery, I just feel completely on edge and I don’t know why! I’m thinking I might need to give the propanalol a go again, do u think it helps @Helplessandheartbroke ? X

@Whycantgiraffesdance well I'm no longer calapsing but I still get palpitations x

Morning ladies. Today is not good. Still got a cold and my period . Anxiety high and lots of thoughts. 😩
Feel really brain foggy aswell, like my brain switches off intermittently.

Ah @Ilovedogs1 it always feels much worse when your ill doesn’t it! I hope you can clear that cold soon.

how is everyone else? X

Same really. How are you @Whycantgiraffesdance? @Ilovedogs1 its lingerie that isn't it! Hope you're better soon x

Imagine if we could get a pause button for our brains?? X

I’d like to take my brain out and put it on the side for a bit @Dawn1331 !

me too @Helplessandheartbroke feeling really emotional lately, sure it’s hormones! I hate being a woman sometimes!! X

@Whycantgiraffesdance I'm in perimenopause - it's nuts x

@Ilovedogs1 that should have said lingering!!! Haha x

@Whycantgiraffesdance yes it is hard being a woman, men don't even realise. How's work going? X

@Dawn1331 long time no speak 😂x

@hk1993x how are you today lovely x

Absolutely hellish 😔 got an infection so on antibiotics but just feel so ill, physically and mentally.

Trying to hard to keep fighting but it's so hard 😔 just woke from a 3 hour nap, I absolutely hate this. I feel like I am dying 😔🥹

How are you?

You are bound to feel even worse if your physically poorly too @hk1993x 🥺 just be kind to yourself, rest up and don’t feel guilty about it ❤️

can I ask how old u are @Dawn1331 and what your symptoms are? I thought I might be too but it’s so hard to tell!

work is fine thank you @Helplessandheartbroke i only work 3 days so was off today. X