To love one child and not the other

[Oneforsorrowtoobad]

And of course it’s fucking unreasonable. Of course it is.

But I am honestly not wanting to feel like this and I hate it. Am I alone?

It was posted in weary exhaustion after a tough day. Let me try again.

*I frequently dislike him his behaviour so much that it feels as though the love I have for him is quashed under feelings of irritation and annoyance and when he hurts himself after I have told him numerous times to stop doing something and he has ignored me I quite enjoy it because he finally stops doing whatever I’ve told him not to do which is awful to admit.

Better?

Not really no, enjoyment out of your child’s pain is never going to be better. Not listening is just 3 year olds for you.

But it will pass OP, they don’t stay that small forever, 3 year olds are hard, and bloody annoying. You’re bound to be really frustrated etc but actually enjoying your child hurting themselves isn’t ‘normal’ as other posters have said. And I don’t think people telling you it is is actually helpful. Which is why I asked earlier if you’d spoken to anyone about it in real life to see if there’s more to why you feel that way.

So what support did you want? Lots of people have said get some help with this.

We've listed sources of help. These places would come along side you and support in different ways and have access to other avenues of support. Your HV in particular will have heard it all before and has access to various things in the area.

You say you don't want to actually get support.

Do you just want posters to reassure you it's fine? I think by posting here you know it isn't. And seeing the responses here too.

It doesn't make you a witch or a bad parent. Seeking help with things makes you a good parent!