To love one child and not the other

[Oneforsorrowtoobad]

And of course it’s fucking unreasonable. Of course it is.

But I am honestly not wanting to feel like this and I hate it. Am I alone?

Need a bit more. What’s going on?

So much more context needed, OP.

I don’t know where to start!

More info needed

Do you mean right now, or have you felt this way for a long time?

What info do people want? It’s hardly justifiable but is it just me? I feel absolutely horrendous.

How old are they? X

My money is on that this is the actual issue. The stages they're at and not the people the are. X

How old are your DC op?

Since it bothers you so much, why don’t you do it?

Is there a reason you feel this way? Is it something like poor behaviour, over-whining, bossiness or is it something you can't quite put your finger on? Also, was this child's birth traumatic in any way?

Can you explain why you don't love the other child? There must be a reason for your feelings.

Age and gender of kids, family setup, how long you've felt like this, what else is going on in your lives, what you think the cause(s) might be.....

Oh OP. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It must be very painful for you.

Are you confusing "like" and "love"?

I know many, many parents who don't like their child one bit, but they still love them.

If you do actually mean love, then I would ask what your birth/pregnancy etc was like.

More context is actually needed for us to tell you whether this is pretty normal or you may need to seek help to deal with this.

How rude. I'm not remotely bothered, cheers, but if you want people to spend time replying, context is needed.
I don't work for this website, so I can't delete your thread for you 🥴

What sex are they
What ages are they
What are your family circumstances
Have you ever had PND

You can start wherever you like. Doesn’t matter if it’s rambly and makes no sense; once you start, you might find things come bubbling up and you can process them. Or just rant away and get it all out. You don’t owe anyone an explanation in order or which makes total sense. You can just talk.

People might be able to help if you say a bit more about the circumstances. It’s not unusual to struggle to bond with new baby or to feel overwhelmed by stress with a child or teen so that love can seem a long way away, but unless you add a bit more info we can’t really help.

I hope so but I’ve always felt strangely about the older one.

I was a FTM. And there was a lot I didn’t know and was so much more sanguine with no2 as just a stage.

But everything the first does irritates the hell out of me. I frequently dislike him and when he hurts himself quite enjoy it which is awful to admit. I pray he doesn’t know but I suspect he does which affects his behaviour. It’s awful.

No1 is 3 and no 2 is a baby.

oh this is really sad

You’re not really making much sense op. You’ve written a sentence for a thread with no context, refusing to answers questions where people are trying to help, and giving snotty replies when people are confused. You are better off getting this deleted and starting again as you’ve immediately derailed your own thread

Dear lord

One of my children it took me over 2 years to bond with and I honestly didn't think I loved them at that point. They are an adult now and I definitely do love them, so yes some context would be helpful