General support thread - come on in

[Kielyflower]

I couldn’t see a recent one of these so thought I’d start one.

I just feel I need to do something positive so will hopefully share some more thoughts later that I hope will help - others as well as myself.

In the meantime, feel free to check in as, if nothing else, it helps to feel less alone.

@snowfoxglove couldn't agree more!

feel I've taken over a little the last couple of days with my issues so I'm really sorry if I have. It's so nice how kind complete strangers are to one another but agreed it's easier to speak to fellow sufferers.

@Kielyflower sorry you're having a rough day. Anything you want to talk about?

@TheBuggerlugs anxiety is the worse. I hope you're doing ok today x

@Kielyflower @Jk24 @TheBuggerlugs
Thank you so much for replying. Yes, I have decades of experience with the mental health team. I haven’t found them that helpful over the years and often feel that their time is better spent with others as most of what they say or suggest I’ve heard many times before. I last heard from my psychiatrist 18 months ago which was a brief phone call with someone that I’d never met. My GP is very good though.
I am waiting for two referrals for counselling - one relating to sexual and physical abuse that I experienced - recently stirred back up because I had to spend time around my abuser at a family event.
The other is because I am being treated for breast cancer and have been referred to the oncology psychology service because of ‘disturbing’ things that I expressed to the nurse specialist. In other words they expect people to opt for the most radical, all guns blazing treatment options and are bewildered when someone says that they would rather ‘roll the dice’. I have had some surgery, take my medications, attend for follow ups, and I’m proud of myself for that.
The other issue is that I am no contact with my mother and she got in touch over Christmas asking me to get in touch. I wrote back and sent her a present, but really do not want the contact that she does. Long history of dysfunction and abuse - including siding with my abusive ex husband over the years - as she thinks ‘he’s lovely.’ The guilt is pretty hard to sit with, but I read her card, then had nightmares and anxiety attacks.
Anyway, on a positive note I start a textile art class tomorrow and restart a poetry course on Tuesday. Really enjoying the sewing/embroidery that I have picked up again and I’m practicing baking Swiss rolls as I’m going to bake a birthday cake for a very young family member.
We can do this.Just keep putting one foot in front of another!

Oh and this thread is a lifeline. I can see how supportive everyone is to each other <3

@Fran2023 firstly a huge well done and thank you for sharing! I'm sorry about your recent struggles with well everything! You sound so strong and inspirational! How is the treatment for your breadt cancer going? Do you have much RL support?

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard day Kielyflower.
I hope that tomorrow will be better for you.

Hi all

@thebuggerlugs sorry to hear you are suffering. Anxiety is awful, and it can sap away so much energy

@Jk24 thank you for your lovely note and yes i think it helps too to speak to fellow sufferers

@Fran2023 Holidays can be very trying. A lot of family, people that are not the best of us can make things worse. It seems you are keeping yourself busy with classes/courses which seems to be a good thing

@ladybee2 i hope things are okay on your end

@Kielyflower I know how it feels to have bad sleep and that impacting your day (also slept badly, feeling bleh). I do think proper sleep could help a lot. I'm hoping it'll come to you sooner rather than later

Thanks @ladybee2 and @snowfoxglove

How are you both today?

Am so glad your anxiety has passed @TheBuggerlugs do you find it strange looking back on it? I sometimes feel the well me is a different person to the unwell me.

I am pleased to report I slept better last night and feel better today than yesterday. Things seem to be all a bit of a delicate balance.

Hi all, I haven't read the full thread yet (will do so later) but wanted to join.

I have depression and anxiety. I find having something big to look forward to really distracts my mind. Christmas was the last thing that kept me occupied. Now it's over I'm an anxious mess again. I spent all weekend worrying about work and now I'm actually at work and it's fine. I do this all time though.

I need to find ways to keep myself calm.

I've caught up in the thread now and there's some good ideas here for me, thanks everyone. I love the glimmers idea, I think this is the type of thing I really need because life should be good but I am not, so I need to notice those glimmers.

Hope everyone who is struggling is getting through today any way you can.

@Werenearlytherexmas2024 sorry to hear you're struggling too. Is there anything you'd like to share? I've had some love reassurance and just getting things off my chest has helped

@TheBuggerlugs @Werenearlytherexmas2024 Anxiety is a beast and exhausting. I find that distraction or mindfulness and/or physical activity helps.
Just managed to make myself do 10 minutes of yoga and do feel better for it. Also booked a yoga class for later this week. I’ve got to get myself moving.
It is weird how anxiety seems to come out of nowhere though. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m anxious. Has never made sense to me. Anyway, we have all got through Monday!

How’s today been for people?

I’ve been ok today, not wonderful but not awful.

Just on the calming things @Werenearlytherexmas2024 its very simple and you may know already but lengthening and emphasising the outbreath more than the inbreath sends calming messages to the brain.

There aren’t any magic bullets but I think it’s a combo of little things that leads to light at the end of the tunnel.

I really agree with your description of anxiety and things that help @Fran2023 !

Hey @Kielyflower I'm having yet another bad day. I've started cbt so I'm working on the cycle but it's not helping just yet... hoping meds will kick in soon too! Glad you're ok

Oh that’s rubbish @Jk24 I’m really sorry. It’s so hard when it seems like no progress is being made.

I try tell myself that each day is a day closer to feeling better. You’ll get there, it takes some time.

Are you managing to do other things that help? Exercise or listen to calming music? I can’t remember if your main symptom is depression or anxiety or both?

@Kielyflower thanks for responding! I think my main issues are definitely ocd and general anxiety from what the therapist has said.

I really need to find time to myself so I can do some form of mindfulness but having an asd 3 year old and working full time it's hard to fund that time. People like yourself are inspiring me to try

@TheBuggerlugs thank you for the suggestions :) sometimes I do other times not like my ds didn't go to sleep until gone midnight last night... his asd means he often doesn't have much sleep unfortunately 😕 Sunday he was asleep for 3 hours then up until 7am! When I can I will certainly try these recommendations x

@TheBuggerlugs not single but dh is up at 5am and commutes over an hour to work so I do the lions share especially at night... its not easy sometimes x

Hi all,

Today I managed to get out of bed (which was really hard) after having slept well. I showered, got dressed, and I took a walk by myself.

I did a very simple chore and got myself some veggies. It was very hard because this is the first day after Christmas and NYE that I got out of the house.

Like @Kielyflower said, I hope that this small step will lead to something better in the future.

I'm hoping all of you are doing okay

That’s brilliant @snowfoxglove well done! I feel so pleased for you .

And the fact that you can recognise that it may lead to something better in the future is also a really positive sign. When things are really hard it’s important not to beat yourself up if that something better doesn’t happen tomorrow or even next week. The fact that you’ve managed those things today can be something you draw on at any point in the future.

I have been on a walk with a friend this morning and just had some soup and bread and cup of tea to warm up. I am tentatively feeling that things are improving.