General support thread - come on in

[Kielyflower]

I couldn’t see a recent one of these so thought I’d start one.

I just feel I need to do something positive so will hopefully share some more thoughts later that I hope will help - others as well as myself.

In the meantime, feel free to check in as, if nothing else, it helps to feel less alone.

@Ilovedogs1 I'm not sure there is an answer or we just learn to live with it? Either way we will find coping mechanisms like you did a few days ago where you told your thoughts to fuck off and felt nothing. It's certainly good to share these things with like minded people. It definitely helps me. I know we shouldn't do the reassurance thing but if it helps then it helps x

Good evening everyone. Just been reading through the last few pages. The last few days for me have been up and down... Very raw on Tuesday (and snapped tearfully at two strangers), but on an even keel by yesterday, but still dwelling on unhappy thoughts and ruminating. I think it's very true what some of you said upthread about fiction being great at pulling you out of that and giving you a new mental focus. I've been thinking just the same and started reading a new book for the first time in ages. I agree it has to be a good one, though! Something that sets all those neural pathways spinning and making new connections.

@snowfoxglove you asked about experiences with therapy. I had eight sessions last year. I'll be honest and go against the grain of what most people seem to say about it - I'm still not sure if it did any good. I'm a very analytical person, but feel big emotions about certain things - and honestly, I've got to the point where I think I just have my sensitivities and weaknesses, and there's not any new eureka moment waiting to be had about that; not in an intellectual sense. I found with therapy that it felt like the implication was that my thought processes were at fault and that it was all a case of catching and correcting them. And I found that disempowering and disorientating. I felt that the therapist was very certain about some things and I didn't necessarily share those views. She was keen to draw what I felt were quite simplistic conclusions from childhood anecdotes. Also, I'd end up crying and then time would be up, I'd go home to my family in a raw state, and I'd think "well, has that left me any better off? It's certainly left me £80 the poorer". I don't know if I've explained that very well, and I'm certainly not suggesting it's true of all therapy... It's just how I felt, and I offer it up just in case you give it a go (which you might as well) and don't feel it suits you - I think it's OK to try it and decide it's not for you right now. I now spend half that money on individual lessons in a skill I enjoy, and I think that adds more to my wellbeing. Having that one-on-one time being encouraged and daring to do something just for pleasure. For me that's better than yet another critical voice in my head. But I see that people on this thread have had great results with CBT (which isn't the kind of therapy I had) so please don't be put off giving it a go.

@Tarsandcase that sounds like a good result from your GP; well done! And @Jk24 congrats on the school place!

Anyone find that their hormones affect them a lot? The last few months have been the first time I've really noticed this - the week before and week of my period. Never really had PMS before (I know, I was lucky!). Now I find my mood plunges for two weeks of the month - it's no coincidence that I'm feeling more stable as I come off my period now. I'm late 30s so not sure if it's an age thing (no other symptoms) or just a side effect of carrying these feelings, that it's playing out in my body too. I suspect the latter, as everything is interconnected... But maybe I've coincidentally developed awful PMS just when it's the last thing I need!

@MarshaMarshaMarshmellow good evening and thank you for sharing! Thank you for the Congrats too! How are you feel now after your bad time Tuesday?

I don't have a time of the month due to the pill I take so its hard for me to say about hormones. It makes perfect sense though!

Thanks @Jk24 - I'm feeling much more stable, but it's a bit worrying that such a high % of my life now is made up of days where I am so close to tears, and if hormones are a factor then it feels a bit out of my control. That gives me an idea - I could start to use my period tracking app to track mood.

@MarshaMarshaMarshmellow that is a good way to track! Have you spoken to your gp?

I haven't, no. It's only very recently occurred to me that seeing a GP would be an appropriate thing to do! I'm a bit wary, I'm not sure what I want from it or expect from it. I'm wary of counselling again, and also of medication for the first time. But these are just very vague fears and I wonder whether part of me is clinging to the sadness.

@MarshaMarshaMarshmellow I didn't take meds until my 3rd gp visit. They referred me to be diagnosed too. It helps to understand what's going on x

How is everyone doing today? It's the weekend.

Couldn't really sleep well yesterday. Drank juice before bedtime and then insomnia and nightmares. Sugar at night always makes my sleep wonky

@snowfoxglove I had a terrible nights sleep also. My first Saturday in my new job so maybe that. Had a little cry on my way to work. Intrusive thoughts constant and I'm not really sure what's happening really. All I know is I feel anxious, tearful but I'm determined not to give in. Stiff upper lip and all that.

@MarshaMarshaMarshmellow Thank you for sharing your experiences. I know what you mean. I've had some bad experiences with counselling in the past and also wary of counselling.

I didn't take kindly to their implication because I was struggling that I was problematic. I felt this was done because as long as they found something in your childhood or your MH that meant you were problematic and they were free of reaponsibility.

At the end it was like you say, another crticial voice in your head.

Two weeks ago I tried ringing three of them just to have a little chat to learn what they were like, what they did but I couldn't even chat with them a little. And it's also really expensive to just "give it a go".

I did hear some people had good experiences and that they spoke with a therapist they "clicked" and who checked up on them but I wasn't so lucky 🤐

@Ilovedogs1 Ugh bad sleep makes everything so much harder, I understand how that feels. I'm often anxious too and everything feels like struggle. I hope you get through the day. We are here for you xx

Hi all, just popping in to say hi and also to say thank you to @MarshaMarshaMarshmellow for articulating the stuff about counselling. I think I have come to the end of the line with mine for reasons similar to your take on it.

I think I prefer reading self help books and also - as you say - putting the money towards other things that I know help my well-being.

Overall my mental health is better than it has been for months. So for those struggling, hang in there and keep going, it will get better.

I think the thing that has possibly made the most difference to me is around being kind to myself and trying to live more authentically and not care what other people think about me or my choices.

I’ve also learnt (and I still slip up on this a lot) that I need to eat well and exercise and generally treat myself well with things like relaxation time. Not because it makes everything suddenly alright but because not doing so makes things stagnate or feel worse.

@Kielyflower lovely to read your positive update. Thanks for the advice too. I went out last night and got upset after a few beers. Overall I've been much better than I was a few weeks ago.

That’s good things are improving @Jk24

I think alcohol can cause upset at the best at times. I’d be tempted not to read too much into it and definitely be hard on yourself. You doing ok today?

@Kielyflower you're right. I was talking to a family friend who knew ddog very well and he understands my pain. His wife cried when my ddog passed. It just brought a lot up. I'm OK today thanks how are you? Nursing a slight hangover but I've had to get on with it as ds is back from his grandmas x

Aw, yes I can see how that would have been upsetting.

I’ve had a good day today thanks. Trying to keep up good habits so things don’t unravel.

Hi ladies. How is everyone? Another day of feeling low and flat for me. Intrusive thoughts constantly again. I know my anxiety disorder is only a part of me but atm it just feels like I am one big anxiety disorder. Any motivation greatly appreciated. Hope you all have an ok day. X

@Ilovedogs1 can you get back in with your gp? Maybe up your meds? If you're off work today can you do something for yourself? Nice walk with the dogs, binge watch some Netflix with a bag of doritos? X

Another rubbish weekend with unsupportive family members. I know they don't get MH but I just feel interactions with certain people make me ruminative when I'm normally okay-ish. I feel like I have to do everything by myself anyway bit with family I have this extra burden on top of my MH.

It's so weird being with people but always feeling lonely.

Monday and I'm so sleepy and drowsy. I'm so tired life being 1 step forward, two steps backs 😣

Im really struggling too. I find myself just wanting to stay in bed all the time.

Sorry to see this @Ilovedogs1
I try and do stuff to improve things by 10%. So it takes the pressure of things making me feel better but 10% is better than nothing and then I might be able to nudge it to 20% which is better still

@Jk24 I'm already on the max dose of fluoxetine and I'm still under the CMHT from my breakdown last year. @kizziee thanks for your reply. Even though I've felt pretty low all day and intrusive thoughts have been pretty constant I have managed to walk my dogs, baked some muffins and even went to a gym class. Tomorrow is another day. X

@snowfoxglove you've got Monday blues! It's the worst day of the week. I hear you about people not understanding. Do you have anyone in RL to turn to?
.@Touty what is it you're struggling with? Anything you want to share?
@kizziee good advice! Hope you're ok.
@Ilovedogs1 you should be so proud of yourself today. Despite struggling you've achieved so much! Just need a good night's sleep now and tomorrow's a new day!

@Ilovedogs1 that's fantastic. Wishing you better days ahead.

How’s everyone been today?