Told my therapist I felt unhealthily attached to them and that I felt I wanted them to be my friend and.....

[onlyyooooo]

....long story short, went to therapy for a while (private) therapist helped me to deal with a lot of traumatic stuff. Realised I felt unhealthily attached to therapist as in I wanted them to be a friend (DEFINITELY not sexual on my part).

All the advice said speak to therapist about this. I terminated therapy then sent an email explaining this was why.

Therapist replied along the lines of great idea!! Let's be friends.

What?

Anyone experienced ANYTHING remotely like this?

Male or female therapist?

Yeah that’s weird! They should have politely declined! Definitely not professional!

I will answer this of course but I am really interested as to why you think the difference is important (I think it is important and I'm just checking if we're pulling on the same thread).

Thanks, just to be clear - I didn't ask them to be my friend so there was nothing for them to decline as such. I just explained that I'd decided to terminate as had this weird felling of wanting to be friends, then they responded with that.

Holy shit!
I was in a mother and baby unit. the main psychiatrist was a man and everyone said, including him that us women would open up to him more as a lot of women would see him as a father figure/hero. Infact he was a bit of knob, and couldn't ever understand what it's like to be a woman and a mother going through ppd/ppa/psychosis.

I'm really sorry to hear this :(

That’s really weird and surely crosses their professional boundaries? Did you reply OP?

This is what I think, that it crosses professional boundaries and I'm worried about this happening again to someone else.

A therapist should be able to recognise Transference, and be able to deal with it appropriately

Do you think they want to shag you? Theors is a weird response and the cynic in me can't attribute it to anything other than sex.

Hi OP
Can you share exactly what the therapist said?

This sounds very, very wrong.

Thanks, yes, I know this.

I'm trying to find out if anyone has experienced anything remotely similar and what they did, if so? (By anything similar I don't mean the transference I mean the response).

That seems extremely odd. Unprofessional at the very least. You are trying to establish a boundary and the therapist is not respecting it. I think it’s a bit creepy.

Yes, I can, they wrote me a letter back. I will copy what they said...one minute

That's completely inappropriate, and even members of the public know that, so why don't they? I'd report them to their work place and professional body.

Ugh, that’s so unprofessional and potentially harmful. I’m sorry this happened to you
(Not with this therapist but) ordinarily, it would have been useful to explore these feelings in therapy

ok

it's quite long so, main highlights...

"now that you have prompted me to think I find myself in accord with your wisdom. A case of the therapist learning from the client. That that is what I would like, too. More than like, be deeply deeply honoured.

I would need to tread carefully as I think this is serious stuff, and if you were to continue in therapy there is some way to go, perhaps; but I imagine it would be one step at a time as things evolved."

There's more but I feel quite billious just copying that bit.

What body is the therapist registered with? HCPC, BACP? It's misconduct to strike up personal relationships with clients.

Woah! Please report this.

Did you withdraw from therapy because you felt you wanted to be friends? I've wanted to be friends with therapists in the past but assume that's how you're meant to feel? Like, to have positive regard for them, they are helpful and trustworthy etc. But also I understood that our relationship was not a friendship.

Omg yikes! Just saw your update.

That's awful. Please do report him to the bacp/whatever professional association and make a complaint.

Oh dear, the reply is very concerning. I don't think you have to report, but you certainly could report.

This is completely unacceptable and will be in breach of the ethical code of their registering body.

if you feel able to report this to their professional body I would.

Ewwww. I’m not surprised you’re creeped out. Yuk