No hate please ! Why do depressed people not go outside ?

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Sorry if it upsets anyone , I am just very curious as why depressed people don’t want to go outside ? I know someone who has depression and she doesn’t want to go outside at all no shopping (only online shopping )no hairdresser no nothing , can someone explain to me what’s stopping them ? It’s no hate question at all I’m just trying to understand better and educate my self better . Thank you millions xxx

You feel like shit and everything is so much effort.
You just want to lie down and die or do the bare minimum.

When depressed people do go out, they’ll often only go where is absolutely necessary and will wear scruffy oversized clothes and not make any effort with their appearance as they genuinely don’t have the energy.

I only got agoraphobia at the same time which I’m not sure is a sign of depression or it was a separate thing but I literally couldn’t cope even going into the garden.

That’s so defeatist. Where’s your fight? I know it’s hard. I just hope one person reads this and decides to say - No - I can do that! It’s what changed my life.

Well let’s manage it then!

If you are not able to leave the house, your disease is not managed.

It's effort to get ready. Find clean clothes. Do your hair. Try and figure out if you've showered recently enough to face the public (when you know you should have showered last night but mindlessly watching TV in bed seemed easier). Cancelling or saying no is easier than admitting that you have in fact not showered. You don't know where your hairbrush is because your hairs been in the same bun for 3 days. You don't want to look In your wardrobe at the lack of clean clothes because you'll remember you're a bit shit and have been putting off the washing all week. It gets easier when you learn not to look at it as 2 hours to get ready. And instead as one small task at a time.

I would also say that it's incredibly complex. Depression can be accompanied with manic behaviour, be part of a cycle and be along side psychosis and be acute or chronic so everybody is totally right in their experience but not the same.

Because they are managed not cured. Depression is managed. It’s rarely cured

Many people have an episode of depression, take meds/have therapy, and it is cured.

I think it is defeatist to say it is something that afflicts you for the rest of your life once you have it.

Things like bipolar and schizophrenia will never be cured, and are examples of illnesses can only be managed.

If only I’d known that I could ‘think’ myself out of my breakdowns and depression along with the anxiety! What an amazing like I could’ve lead! 🙄

should I also tap myself with a wand and shout ‘bippity boppity boo’ whilst spinning 3 times?

I try to think positively in the majority of my life, but this is batshit!
as the kids say, you do you!

Thanks everyone for a fair discussion.

I am not diagnosed (because I don’t believe it would make any difference to me) but I am very probably bipolar. I think I am on an up at the moment, hence my posts. I may post very different things next week!

I still do think that effort is required though, although I do know how hard that is.

my change of heart came when I read Twokidsanddonel’s post and realised that it sums me up to a tea! BUT I do still think that I enjoy my life, which is the main thing.

Mines never been cured. I’ve had it 42 years. I must be doing it wrong if l can’t miraculously cure it.

It's a mental illness OP. Not just feeling sad. So their minds at that time aren't functioning normally - they aren't functioning normally.

I've never had any mental illness, but when I've been very very anxious or upset over something that's happened I often don't want to leave my home because it feels scary, overwhelming, like people will look at me. Like everyone's eyes will judge and press in on me.

I imagine if that feeling, which is fleeting and situational for me, became a long term level of fear, stress and sadness then I would feel terrified of the outside.

And I’ve just been in group therapy with 2 psychologists and 10 women. Strange how none of them are ‘cured’

Oh and I’ve just started HRT 2 days ago, so that may have effected my mood!

Because my bones are sad and they HURT. Because the air outside is thick as treacle and it burns my lungs when I breathe.

Does it though? Or is that just other people.

Yes, like wading through treacle. Good description.

Because when you feel depressed and/or anxious:
You sometimes can not even get out if bed or get dressed if it's really bad.
You often feel much calmer at home where there is nothing to add additional stress.
Leaving the house can be a huge challenge - facing other people, fear of a panic attack, fear of not coping.
You can easily lose all motivation to do anything at all. I have lost count if the days where I have planned a list if things and morning comes and I just don't care about any of them.
You are overwhelmed by despair.
Nothing matters.
You feel safe at home.

This is a sad thread. Outside where I live has no expectations no people, just weather, birds, usual animals.

Too many things to do to make it happen. The world is overwhelming. Motivation very low. Unexpected situations are out there which when you are low can feel gargantuan.

You don't sleep and are constantly exhausted.
You sleep a lot because it's your body and brain's way of blocking it out.
You are scared.
Tiny things become enormous issues to be overcome- eg tidying up, washing clothes, keeping a kitchen clean, moving a pair of trainers from the hall.
You feel continually rubbish about everything and hate yourself.
If you don't see other people you don't compare yourself to them.

When I am unwell, I don't brush my hair, shower, brush my teeth, wear clean clothes etc. I look a state and I stink.
I still get out as I have a dog that needs walking. She does not care what I look (or smell) like. And I need shops to buy her food too.
Vile I know, but I am beyond giving a fuck at that point. The victory to me is getting out the house to start with, regardless of my physical state.

@AsterixInEngland thank you 🌷

I guess I'm in denial mist if the time & I'm not sure if it's clinical depression or if I'm justifiably 'down' given life events. Probably should see a private GP RE a few things anyway. I think what puts me off, if both the £££ and 'finding a good one'.

but thanks for your message!

I'm sorry it's a life long condition for you.
I do think though that we need to differentiate between situational and other forms of depression.
Many (most?) people will have a period of depression during their lifetime, brought on by a terrible event. In time, you can get better, either with the passing of time and life returning to normal, or alongside support in the form of therapy (talking or pharmaceutical).

That's a really good analogy

I always had recurring situational depression (about 15 episodes) until the menopause though.

Then it became chronic.