Random strangers asking my baby's name / chatting to them way too close

[sinkorsplash]

It's become a regular occurance, but when I'm out with my DD (4 months) and she's out of her pram, random people come over, and want to chat / hold her hand / ask me her name, how old she is. Occasionally there's the OTT question of 'how was your birth / where was she born etc which I just ignore, but the other ones unnerve me and I don't know if I'm reasonable to want to keep her name / age private with strangers?

A couple of months ago a stranger STROKED HER CHEEK and I went ape at her - she was crying and the stranger was trying to 'help' as I paid for petrol, and that put me on edge.

But it's become relentless - twice this week, three times last week and the week before when out in cafe's, the park, swimming, etc.

What it is about babies that make people think it's ok to talk to you, share personal stories and personal information. I just want to swear at them or run away!

I've started giving her a fake name to randoms, and changing her age, but it's making me want to not go out at all or into cafe's or shops or anything.

Is it acceptable to say just Go away, or F off?
Or is it just politeness and I need to get over myself.

Any other tips welcome.

Are you usually so irrationally anxious about people talking to you?

My tip would be - seek counselling as you seem to be very anxious indeed.

I have a 4 month old too and when asked I just say her name and that she's 4 months old. And they coo isn't she lovely, is she a good baby and I laugh oh yes but she has her moments and we all go on our way. Never occurred to me to tell anyone making conversation about my beautiful baby to fuck off

Christ on a bike! They are just people making conversation about your lovely baby. I would suggest your reaction is not the norm. I often smile at babies, say how gorgeous they are, ask their parent their name / age if we’re standing in a never ending queue for something.

Bloody hell OP. I’m pretty surprised by your reaction.

People love babies and enjoying seeing one! They are just making conversation.

@CathyTre

My tip would be - seek counselling as you seem to be very anxious indeed.

I agree with Cathy.

I think its your issue, not theirs.

Honestly, I think you may need some help. People are just being friendly and kind. Why wouldn't you just tell them the baby's age and name someone innocently stroking her cheek is harmless. It's not like they picked her up and bashed her on the ground. You're acting neurotically and strangely.

Why do you just ignore strangers making polite conversation? Have you always done this or is it just when it’s baby related?

I really wouldn’t call strangers making the odd, friendly comment to you 2/3 times a week relentless. A lot of women remember feeling so isolated and lonely as a new mum that they try extra hard to be friendly to any mum they see on their own.

Seriously, it’s a non-issue. It’s lovely that people are interested in your baby. If you don’t want people to indulge in completely normal behaviour by acknowledging a cute baby then only go out at night or take her up on the moors or somewhere.

This seems a bit OTT. I didn't love strangers trying to touching my baby in the height of the pandemic but believe me when it changed to being totally isolated and no one going near each other I missed that interaction.
I'm due another imminently and I will be so sad if people don't come up and chat to me about my baby, I love that! I'd hate to live in a world where you can't coo over a newborn or little baby. Mild agree about touching and I'd never let a stranger hold my baby.

Wtf

Are you anxious about anything else? I'm wondering if you have postnatal anxiety? I got it bad and felt similar to you.

Your reaction is abnormal. You need to discuss this with a professional.

Errm I think you're reaction is really abnormal. Is there any chance you're suffering with post natal anxiety or depression. It sounds like people are just being nice/these are all very normal interactions (apart from your reaction to them).

The touching without asking I think is well out of order especially in these pandemic times but general chat is just people being friendly.

Please do seek help OP. This is not a normal reaction. People are being kind.

Obviously you’ve given birth to the most beautiful baby ever born. 😂 what a cross to bear.

Nah, not really. You need to calm down a bit. People love babies. Many older people have had two years of not/barely seeing their grandchildren. They may be lonely/missing their own families.

Yelling at some woman for trying to be kind just feels unnecessary and reflects more on you than on a woman trying to be nice. It makes you seem unbelievably anxious and PFB. It’s a slippery and miserable slope so maybe seek some support if you can.

Imagine how poor Mary dealt with all the attention her dc got!!

A lot of women remember feeling so isolated and lonely as a new mum that they try extra hard to be friendly to any mum they see on their own.

I think this is spot on. I know germs are a worry with a small baby but you sound over anxious.

I have 3 children happens all the time even now the youngest is nearly 2 and people still stop us to say hello and ask about her . I've never felt offended in any way

God this is incredibly sad. My daughter gets spoken to by people at checkouts or in the supermarket or in the petrol station.. I couldn't even ever imagine ever thinking like this, how so very sad for your baby.
I would seek professional help to address your anxieties.. This reaction is not normal at all.

This is not a balanced and normal reaction to these kinds of situations.

By all means start shouting and swearing in the presence of your child, because that’s an acceptable way to conduct yourself 🙄

Why the hell would you give her a fake name and age

Human beings are primed to see the next generation as valuable and something to be celebrated.

I'm pretty introverted generally, but when I had my babies, I was blown away by how lovely strangers could be, and how sweet their interactions with me and my babies were.

Every time someone cooed at them, showed interest in them, and congratulated me on them, I felt better about the world and the human race, and felt warmed by the interaction. And a little bit less introverted.

I honestly can't understand your response to people simply being lovely and admiring your baby.

I also went crazy at a stranger touching my then 3 month old, but that was only because we’re in the middle of a global pandemic! Touching is definitely not ok, but having strangers be kind and sweet about my DD is a true delight, and I’d happily be stopped dozens of times. It has actually showed me that it’s such a shame that it takes a baby for strangers to talk - wouldn’t it be nice if we were all a bit kinder to everyone we meet?

Seriously? I used to love people talking to me when I had small DC
Just snarl at people if they're in a 5 foot radius of you and your crotch fruit, that'll keep them at bay and save the 'Fuck Offs' for those that get a bit closer 🤷‍♀️